Far Gone || Dream

9 - Sex with a Ghost

A/N: Despite the suggestive title of the song, there are no such themes

I stared up at the ceiling of Val's bedroom. I had barely left Val's house since we had gotten back from Techno's house.

I forced myself out of the bed and walked over to the bathroom. I stared at my own tired face in the mirror until I could've sworn I saw Val standing next to me. I turned away from the mirror in the direction of the specter to find nothing there. I was losing my mind.

I shook my head and left the bathroom. I looked at the suit that George had set onto the dresser for me and turned away from it. How was I meant to stay calm at her funeral? I knew I was a large part of her death and I couldn't face that.

I took a deep breath and sat back down on her bed. I needed to do this for her. She wouldn't want me to blame anyone for her death, let alone myself.

I sighed and walked towards the suit. I picked it up and brought it to the bathroom. As I put it on, I felt like I looked ridiculous. I looked into the mirror again and tried to straighten out my suit.

"Handsome." Val's voice echoed in my ears and I cursed. I was legitimately going insane. I couldn't let myself believe that her voice was real. I couldn't give myself that hope.

She wasn't Wilbur. Her business was finished here. She didn't need to stay. She just wanted to be gone.

The most painful part of all of this was knowing that she chose this. She asked Techno to fucking kill her. I gripped the sink in my frustration, until I took a deep breath and let go. I needed to let go.

I walked out of the bathroom and looked around her room. I looked over at my mask and shook my head. No matter how much I wanted to, I couldn't wear it, for Val's sake. I walked down the stairs and out into the sunlight outside of the house. No one but Sapnap and George had seen me since we had gotten back.

I grabbed my hair and started panicking. How many people would it be that would see my face today? I could hear Val's compliments towards my eyes and my freckles echoing in my head and smiled. I had to remember I was doing this for Val.

I picked a couple dandelions from the field and started walking down the path towards the community house. We didn't have her body, so there would be no burial. It was just a funeral that a few people had chosen to talk at. I would not be one of them. I couldn't talk in front of a group without my mask and I knew that I'd start crying either way.

I kept walking towards L'manberg. I should've had a larger part in planning her funeral, but I just couldn't bring myself to move after we had gotten back. It should've been held at the lake. She adored that lake and had ever since she found it, but Tubbo had decided to hold it at the L'manberg stage.

There had been a fight over whether it should've been held at El Rapids because of Sapnap and George. I ended that fight with one question. "When did she go to El Rapids?" That was almost all of my input for the funeral.

The picture that they had chosen for her wasn't what I would've chosen either. There weren't any pictures we could find of just her, so Sapnap and George had taken the picture of her and I from me to use. I was given the original back, but it made me uncomfortable that she had to have her face next to mine at her own funeral.

She had hated me right before she died. If she was watching she would probably be about as pissed as I was about it.

I started messing with the dandelions in my hands when I saw the crowd that was gathering. George noticed me and waved me over with a smile.

I tried my best to return the smile and walked over to him.

He looked at my face. "No mask?" He was trying to hide how surprised he was.