Chapter 5: Niall
“So how was last night?” Camila asked. She knew. God, I’m caught. No, no calm down Niall, play it cool.
“It was alright. You know, nothing new. Just chilled and stuff.” I lied. I couldn’t even imagine telling her the truth, she’d kill me. And Jenn!
“Hm. Well I’m going to go shopping, would you like to join me? I can call Paul and-”
“No. I mean sure, I’ll go, but don’t call Paul. We don’t have to tell them everything we do.”
“Magazines..?”
“I don’t want to be in a magazine Camila. I just want to go to the mall with my girlfriend. Can I just do that? Please?”
Calling Camila my girlfriend tasted bad on my tongue. I didn’t want her to be my girlfriend, it was a fake relationship. It wasn’t at first, but it really was now.
“I’ll call the cab.” she said. How did I get into this situation? I used to be able to bare her, I used to be fond of her actually, and by “used to” I mean last week. I mean yeah we have connected in a while but I guess I still fancied her a tad, but now that Jenn was in the picture I didn’t even think twice of her.
At the mall Camila waved to everyone we walked past. Does she realize 60 year-old men are staring at her because she has nice legs not because she’s my girlfriend? She’s so into the fame. I love my fans, they’re everything to me, but I don’t want to have people swooning all over my all the time. Is that selfish? Yes it is. It just gets too much at times. But I love them to the ends of the Earth, I really do.
Speaking of fans, that’s something that worries me about Jenn. If something went further and we miraculously did start to date, she would receive hate on twitter. Camila is so confident in herself and doesn’t care what the envious fans send her. She actually laughs at some of it. I guess that just is one of the things that makes her Camila. But Jenn, sweet, sensitive Jenn would be crushed by the things they say. If she was sad, that would just tear me apart.
I decided I’d go visit Remy at Starbucks today. She always helps me with situations like this, although I’m not sure if anyone can.
“I’m so messed up, Rem.”
“What’d you do this time?”
“Remember that stunning blonde that I spilled coffee on?”
“You talked about her for a good thirty minutes straight, how could I forget?”
“I can’t get her out of my mind Remy. You know me. Girls have never been a huge thing in my life. There’s something about her. I honestly can’t point it out, I just love everything about her.”
“Well don’t tell me this, call her!”
My leather couch is a nice play to rest when everything else in your life is falling apart. I pop the cap off a bottle of beer and take it back. I know alcohol isn’t the solution, I just needed my mind off her, off Camila, off having to please everyone all the time. I’m not sad, I’m so happy and thankful for my success, but sometimes the pressure gets too much for me to handle.
The doorbell rings and I stumble over to door. I’m hoping it’s not Camila because I’m sure I’m clearly not sober. Oh thank god, it’s Zayn.
“Woah Nialler, someone’s been drinking alone.” Zayn jokingly said.
“I”m just a little stressed, if that makes sense.”
“No. Not really. What’s on your mind bud?” Zayn said as he grabbed a beer for himself, “Don’t mind if I do.”
“Alright mate, I’m going to tell you something.” I took a death breath in because I was about to reveal a big secret I’m not really supposed to tell anyone. Zayn lit a cigarette and I stared into the orange glow, “I’ve been seeing someone, and it’s not Camila. Before you say anything you have to understand that I didn’t mean for this to happen.”
“Well who is she?”
“Her name is Jenn. Jenn Ackerman.” I couldn’t help but smile when I said her name, “Actually her name is Jeanne, but I kinda just started to call her Jenn and it stuck. Jesus Christ, she has a face that could save a life, she’s so beautiful. Her body was sculpted by Gods I swear. And her laugh, she has this little snort thing she does when she laughs so hard and I can’t help but laugh when I hear it!!”
“You’ve got it bad, shit.”
