Unrequited || Jimin

2.6 | 바 다

S E A

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So it began — the unraveling, our story starting to ripple far and wide like raindrops into endless oceans.

You were my butterfly effect; you beat your wings, once, twice, and I am thrown from the past, all the way to where I am now — five years later, older and maybe wiser, your name still etched on my tongue as if it was always mine to utter.

The library I'm sitting at now is foreign. It's cast in soft glowing yellow, the night sky outside a muted navy, and as I walk the aisles I remember when we all started to overlap.

When Jungkook, you and I began to gravitate towards one another — caught in orbits, our rings spun like Saturn's with inevitable pull. A slow, gradual eclipse. A destruction, but with a lovely ache.

Taehyung had the idea: a roadtrip, all nine of us.

Seoul was starting to shrug spring off like a worn-out coat, the pink hues shifting into lazy golden sunbeams, the kind of summer heat that melts your bones and leaves honey drizzling down trees. Everyone moved a little slower, soaked up the sun a little longer. It was beginning to warm.

You were officially dating Hae-mi, then. It wasn't so much an announcement as it was a performance — the day after you showed up at my house, looking like you had words crawling in your throat like veins. And yet you didn't say a word to me, not about the things that matter, anyway.

We were at our usual lunch table, everyone crowding around Yoongi and his laptop. He was showing us beats he'd mixed when all of a sudden, you walked up to us.

Your hand, in hers.

"This is Hae-mi, everyone," you'd smiled, but you never once looked my way. My insides tightened.

Everyone greeted Hae-mi politely, Hoseok going so far as to offer her his seat, and I felt like sinking into the floor; how much it had hurt, then, how everything in me weighed down heavy.

"No," I blurted out, surprised at how calm I'd sounded. I looked past you, your eyes widened at me, and gestured towards Hae-mi. "Take my place. I'm moving seats, anyway."

Your gaze felt like a beam of laser, trailing me intently as I stood up to switch seats next to where a quiet Jungkook sat. Something inside me curled up with satisfaction when Jungkook reached a hand out to my shoulder to briefly squeeze — and you saw.

A tiny act. A butterfly effect. And seas rose and tided in your eyes as, for one brief second, you let your guard down.

I looked away first, tired and conflicted. You were with her, and yet you show me anger. It wasn't fair, and I wanted nothing else to do with it.

But I still couldn't help but feel my heart ache and throb as the days soon passed, Hae-mi coming to lunch and study sessions and movie nights. She'd always sit by your side, where I used to be, and grinned cat-like whenever I caught her eyes.

I wondered if she knew. I wondered if she thinks she's won, as if this was a competition.

We didn't meet at bus stops anymore. Mornings you spent picking her up, and afternoon dropping her off. This broke me more than anything — you were the steady rise and rhythm of me, a wave unbroken, someone I could rely on for life.

You were my friend and my soul for the longest time — and I'm starting to think that I could now be strong without you. That to wholly depend on someone was toxic, and dangerous, and you weren't who I made you out to be.

Love blinds, but it creates illusions, too. You were edged with roses and old wives' tales, a garland of kisses and a hundred thousand stars in my night. I had dreamed you up to be more, I had expected. And so I had fallen, and now I have to hurt to get over you.

Healing, more often than not, hurts more than the hurting itself.

And I had started to heal — all the raw wounds scabbing over slowly, surely, steadily. I had spent time with the others more and more. Jungkook's presence had grown larger by the day, but his was a gentle one, a supportive one, and I found myself laughing on days where he and I spent time together.

Until the ocean changed everything.

Our roadtrip was set on a Saturday morning. We'd all decided to spend time at the beach before exams well and truly sink in. You and I were awkward, then; distant and quieter, but still friends.

We had all decided it was going to be just the nine of us — you didn't invite Hae-mi, and Hoseok didn't ask his sister along either.

"Should we meet at the bus stop and head over together?" You'd asked me then, your face a little hesitant.

I was too stunned to reply, so I merely nodded. I had hoped this trip would be a chance to mend whatever this was between us, for us to at least be close again. As much as I hated it, I missed your presence.

But I slept through my alarm — something you knew I did often. I'm a heavy sleeper.

You used your key to my house and woke me up, lightly shaking my shoulder. We shared a laugh and a joke, "God, Byul-ah, you can honestly sleep through an earthquake", and I felt cheerful.

Hopeful.

Gathering my clothes to change out of my pajamas, I told you to wait in my room.

Such a small thing.

And yet, as I made my way back from the bathroom, my steps bouncy and a smile on my face upon thinking of the day ahead and you in my room —

I opened the door.

I saw your face, pale and ashen, your gaze flicking up to meet mine with unguarded shock. My heart thundered, my stomach sinking with anxious dread as, confused, I looked down at your hands.

You were holding the letter I wrote weeks ago, when I had first seen you with her, back at the blossom-filled park.

Time slowed, and stopped on impact. Everything froze, falling a little out of frame.

I couldn't feel my lungs.

In that horrible, horrible second, all I could do was silently meet your gaze with my own as everything around us started to fray.

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A/N: omg, it's been ages! this was a spontaneous update; i'd idled on wattpad for days now, but tonight i felt like writing something, and this just came pouring out. i hope you are all well, you lovelies; i can't believe there are still comments and reads on this book, i appreciate it so much!

ooo, things are happening! what did you think of jimin finding out? i hope you liked this chapter — leave some love and feedback if you have time, luh you all!⭐️