Unrequited || Jimin

1.3 | 슬 픈

S A D N E S S

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That night, sleep eluded me.

Eyes wide open, I stared off at the sky peeking in through my window, a swatch of royal blue dimpled with nearly fading stars.

Anxiety itself was a pinwheeling constellation in my mind - a slow-spinning nebula, full of thoughts and memories and emotions. And all of them led back to you and the girl and the clear morning sky.

After I'd ran off, I was adrift with nowhere to go. My dad was once again busy with his job, and I'd considered calling my friends before realizing I didn't really want any company except for yours.

So I went home, and spent the rest of the day cooped up inside my room, swaddled in blankets and a mug of tea in my hand.

And drowned myself in my sorrow as I wrote a letter addressed to you.

Pen scratched against paper in rhythmic motions as I bled my pain into ink and ink into words.

And in the letter I'll never send, I confessed how much I loved you and how my heart tore apart when you hugged her like you found something new and was she your girlfriend, did you like her - or was I merely overthinking?

Afterwards, I placed it in a pink shoebox, right under my bed.

And as my heart would throb as if squeezed whenever I think of you, I then proceeded to ignore your text message.

And your voice calls as well.

I knew I was overreacting, that I had no right to be this annoyed. That it wasn't your fault.

As your best friend of many years, I know I should be excited and supportive of you dating someone else.

But I wasn't.

Selfish, this heart of mine. Naïve as well.

But when you're eighteen and had just tumbled your way into love, you have no room for any rational thought. All-consuming and enveloping; that was what young love felt like.

Like a star burning bright, a comet hurtling to a death so beautiful you cannot help but to gaze at the explosion.

It also hurts.

And so I brooded all night long, barely touching my dinner to my dad's concern. Brushing aside his voiced worries, I head back up to my bed, where I'm now tucked in and ready to sleep.

Only I couldn't.

And so here I am, tossing and turning on my bedsheets, the crinkle of cotton under my skin a companion through the endless night.

That is, until my window creaked open and a figure dropped inside, lithe and silent and very, very much a male.

My body jolted upright.

Bolting straight up off my bed, I only had time to eke out a tiny yell before the figure hurried to move towards me, arms out to stop me from screaming.

"Byul, it's me!"

I felt as if my body had become air itself. "Jimin?"

Moonlight cradled the planes of your face, pale light spilling onto your features as you then stepped closer to my bed.

You were dressed in a casual attire, consisting of your baggy shirt and sweatpants. Your light blonde hair was rumpled and tossed about, your lips swung up into an impish smile.

But it was your eyes that made me melt, the way you gazed at me intently as you walked towards me.

Because in that second, with you in my room so close to me and my frantic heartbeat, I became a girl in love all over again.

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A/N: yes, byul might seem a bit dramatic, but please keep in mind she's a lonely soul and jimin is her anchor to this world. plus, love does hurt. :")

thank you for reading, please remember to drink water and eat properly. i might not be able to get to every comment, but know that i appreciate every single one of them. i love you! ♥