Unrequited || Jimin

2.1 | 여 름

S U M M E R

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I've always thought that some hearts are meant to be.

That somehow, against all odds, even through the darkest of hours and over the span of a thousand oceans - if two hearts are one, they will always find a way back to each other.

See, I was fourteen when my like for you had slowly blossomed into something more, something that wrapped me up in cotton-candy pink that filled my veins whenever you so much as brushed my hand or send me a glance.

We were at school, and it was sunny in mid-August, sun blazing down and sweat trickling down our backs mercilessly.

Yet the grass grew summer green, stalks of lush emeralds decorating the backyard of our school, and I remember this vividly, would always remember this until the day memory would start to elude me.

There was a partially secluded nook of a small valley, sloping down behind the soccer field. Covered by the bending boughs of an old tree, it became one of my treasured spots in the entire of Seoul.

Because it was where you gave me my first kiss.

It wasn't serious, of course - we were barely teenagers. In the throes of growing up, losing our childhood innocence and rose-tinted view of the world; yet we still are not completely mature, far from so.

Which is why, when you took me out to the mini valley in the schoolyard one lazy afternoon, I agreed.

It was fluffy clouds and humid air; at first we tried to catch the crickets chirping amongst us in the grass, me laughing as you accidentally tripped over, your glare playful as you pouted at my reaction.

Soon we tired of chasing insects, and proceeded to sat against the bough of the huge willow tree, side by side under the dappled canopy of its branches.

I couldn't remember what we were talking about; bits and pieces of conversation like mathematics and your favorite songs, perhaps. But what I know is that there was this moment, this one pause in our words, where you fell silent.

Unnerved by the sudden quiet only broken by the wind's sighs, I glanced over at you, puzzled; and the questions brimming in my tongue would've overflowed had it not been for the way you looked.

"Byul-ah."

For some reason, the breath coming out of my lungs wrapped up my throat in ribbons. I had never heard you speak so low, so tenderly, as if the syllable of my name was yours to create. "Yeah?"

"Can I ask you something?"

Your usually bright eyes had dimmed down, the sunlight in them now a soft golden glow. Gentle curiosity and something a little more painted the bows of your lips, and my heart picked up speed as you hesitantly shifted over to me, the distance between us swallowed by the warmth of your body until I could feel your shoulder gently nudge mine.

"Can I kiss you?"

Everything after that was half a blur, memory glazed over with frantic heartbeats and a warmth that spread all over me.

I remembered my face flushing scarlet and my heart slamming against my chest and your eyes nervous but you were looking at me.

Looking at me like you never thought of wanting anything else.

So I asked you why. And you said: "because I'd never kissed anyone before. I'm curious, I guess. I just want to know what it feels like. Don't you?"

Your hair was mussed, strands blowing across your forehead. Back then it was still black, color of deep raven, and it matches the shades of your eyes. Your eyes that looked shy, staring into mine.

I could feel each of my heartbeat, sharp and thudding and alive. "I...yes. I do."

And so it felt like a hazy midsummer dream, the sudden thick silence in the air, the way the world fell into nothing as you became all I could see, sense, feel.

You shifted closer, awkward and shy and determined.

I could only hold my breath, a million thoughts taking hold of my body, my senses too aware of the diminishing distance between us - too aware of your soft-looking lips, of the burning feeling coursing through my heart.

Seconds spanned, but it felt like eons, and my body was a taut guitar string, and your breathing hitched, and I could hold it no longer -

Your lips met mine.

And a galaxy exploded in my soul, constellations etched against my lips, the feather-light brush and your hand taking hold of mine and the blood in my body all rushes to my head.

It didn't last long, and we didn't do it a second time again.

You were all red roses in cheeks and awkward stutterings, and I couldn't utter so much as a word until I got home.

But even then, I remembered. I still do, because it remained one of my favorite memories.

And so I thought that was it - that was us, you and me.

Byul and Jimin, and I'd be the stars to your galaxy.

Until about a week or two after Jungkook had slowly settled into Seoul, where I went in search of you.

Things had fell into rhythm - you and I took the buses back and forth again, and you made me laugh particularly hard one day, until the other passengers threw dirty looks at us.

Things felt okay, and soon I fell even more into love, sitting too close and peeking at you in class and giggling a little too hard.

You felt like home.

On the day it happened, it was lunchtime, and I wanted to ask you to eat together. Jungkook had already joined the others, watching Namjoon and Jin try arm-wrestling each other.

I left to find you, noticing you weren't there. And at last I found you in the old spot, down by the tree.

Our spot.

But this time it isn't me you're holding, so dear and precious in your arms.

It's the girl from the park, the pretty one, and she's holding all the stars in your eyes.

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A/N: a little note that no, this is not a jikook fic. i noticed that some of you were thinking this, and would like to clear it up!

also, fun fact: byul's name in korean is 별, which means 'star'! ♡

tell me what you think of this chapter! what did you think of the angst? ;) i really do appreciate honest feedback, and i love every one of you so much. stay safe, cuties! <3