Searching- A saga ✔

46- Most fortunate

I am the most fortunate of all creatures,

For I am a beloved of the Eternal Lord,

Who plays with my vicious, passionate mind,

Like the way He so easily plays that flute.

I'll eternally be His par amour,

In this life streaked with Samsara,

I might have been born in my house,

But I was born to always love that Hari.

They might accuse me of loving Him,

I'll laugh at their ignorance and move on,

For I am the most fortunate of all creatures,

The Vraj Gopika, who lost her way in between.

And was born in a place of deception and lies,

After eighty four lakh births, I am here,

The way I had been all those million years ago,

A love-sick teenager, madly in love with Krishna.

The flute still calls out to me, the way it did,

Back then, when Yamuna danced while she flowed,

When I got married to the Raasvihari,

And unmarried the world that was tied to me.

For I was the most fortunate of all creatures,

And He quenched this worldly thirst of mine,

Satiating my needs and building me rainbows,

And decorating my lives with none but Himself.

He promised He would come, but when?

I feel so tired after all these births,

So tired of waiting for the waiting to be over,

Only tears remain to be shed, eternally.

No one realises the pain of a wounded deer,

My days are wasted by dreaming,

And my nights are thrown away in sleeping,

My eyes are blurred eternally by unshed tears.

Who knew love was this painful,

 And all my energy drains in despondency,

If I'd known it would be this hurting, atleast,

I'd have warned the world to not fall for Him.

But alas, I'd never do that, He knows why.

My life, as always, moves on unaltered,

I trudge through it searching for my Beloved,

The one who is dark monsoon skinned.

The world criticises me for my antics,

But I'm past the stage of caring for it,

Only He mattered now, shall forever matter,

Only He had mattered back then too.

For He'll unleash my soul to freedom,

And set it free from every illusion in the world,

So that only He remained in every thought,

In every word and every breath of mine.

And ofcourse, I'll forever be most fortunate,

For I'm His eternal Beloved, dancing to the music,

Of His eternal flute, lost in His eternal form,

And He shall rise me to my pristine purity, once again.