@wasabikawa, I want you to know that you still remain being my favorite author ever since I read your Ayato's fanfic (service)
If something's still bothering you until now, be free to talk to us, yknow, sometimes strangers can be best listeners. We don't want you to suffer, pls fight the negativity with positivity in life. Maybe try something new activity for you and your health physically and mentally. Don't focus on comparing yourself to others now that you're in such a vulnerable state, it'll only make you feel more worse than recently.
Wasabika, I know you can overcome this obstacle in you life rn, I believe it'll take much time for you to recover and all of us readers are willing to wait for your recovery, we labyu, author Wasabikaa! Fighting!!