Nicky

I'm not a sad person, but I am honest. And with honesty comes emotion.

I've always expressed my emotion through poetry, and music. My first poem I wrote was on a dinner napkin, scribbled in crayon. It was not just a poem about mom and dad, or school supplies. It was a ballad about love which was something I longed for at the time. It was such a natural thing that flowed out of me that I didn't think twice about it, and that poem thrusted me to create my goals and dreams. 

But I've never shared my writings before. I've tried very hard to, but it always brings me back to one thing: judgment. 

Not even the judgement from other people, either. Judgment I place on myself as my poems and writings sit. As they collect dust I head back to them, and change them until they become a different entity. Or I just never go back to them, and let them rot by themselves. 

I've come to the conclusion that it hurts me a great deal not being able to share my writings. I'm sick of holding myself up to standards that I haven't even tried to fill. I get stuck on perfection or this idea of perfection in my head, but that only kills my thoughts. And it makes me feel weak. 

Art is never perfect and it shouldn't be. I wanna start opening up, and not caring about what I'm saying. Trust myself in saying it.  Love myself more for saying it...