was recently @Cbri_0707 & then was @-prepossesing until it changed to @bretheblessing on july 17, 2017 at precisely 8:46 pm. too much info, sorry.

welcome to the profile of stupid jokes and puns! i'd tell you to enjoy your stay but you probably wouldn't.

a sass a day keeps the basics away.

me: i've gotta focus
my phone: ladies and gentleman-
me: no wai-
my phone: -this is mambo no.5

"it's going to be legen-- wait for it-- and i hope you're not lactose intolerant, because the second half of the word is-- dary!"

"second to the right then straight on till morning"


"apple orchard banana cat dance 8663."

"i'll be there, because x marks the spot-ot-ot-ot" -dr. x

"i might be a bustboy, but you just got served"

"and if you're under him, you ain't getting over him"

"smile and wave, boys, smile and wave"

"i like yeast in my bagel but not in my muffin"

has been diagnosed with 1997 fetus faced Leonardo DiCaprio feels by @unstablepotatoes

one of the founders of "suck my ass" university along with @unstablepotatoes

@unstablepotatoes is a professor in the history of the Titanic.

my birthday is July 7

same birthday as Ashton Irwin, Dylan Sprayberry, and Matthew Espinosa (which I had "recently" figured out a few years ago)

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? 'Cus it hurt when I did.

Earth is full go home.

How many South American's does it take to change a lightbulb?
A Brazilian

I went to the zoo the other day. It was empty, except for a single dog. It was a Shih Tzu.

How does a train eat?
It goes chew chew.

What's Forest Gump' s password?

Do you like bacon? Wanna strip?

June's over? Julying

That awkward moment when you realize that Harry Potter was the only student in the entire school who wore glasses.

  • saturn
  • JoinedApril 22, 2016

Last Message
sendnukes sendnukes Oct 27, 2017 11:56PM
so does nobody know about that new boyband called PrettyMuch from 2016? okay so not new but like its new to me.
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welcome to my overused joke/pun book! i'm pretty sure you've seen about half of these jokes online and you're...
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