this message may be offensive
you don't really realize how fucked up a relationship was or how it fucked u up until u have a bit of ptsd from it. for example, today during lunch i was outside with some friends bc we needed to map out some things for a field day we're doing tmrw. well, one of my guy friends wanted to run to his car to grab sunglasses and an energy drink and he walked behind me, i quickly put my hands over my butt to cover it bc i thought he was gonna slap it. and i didn't do it bc i thought HE was gonna slap it, i did it bc my past relationship was so sexually abusive that i just thought it a guy walks behind me he'll slap my ass. it's a horrible way of thinking, of being treated, and i'm rly hoping that no one relates to this