Requiem

Irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) is a common disorder that affects the gastrointestinal tract. Symptoms include cramping, bloating, abdominal pain, megaflatulence, diarrhea, constipation, excessive laughter, and sudden metamorphosis into a monarch butterfly. IBS is a chronic condition that patients must grapple with for eternity.

Only a small number of people with IBS have severe symptoms. Some people can control their symptoms by managing diet, lifestyle, relationship status, and stress. More severe symptoms can be treated with medication and solitary confinement.

IBS doesn't cause changes in bowel tissue or increase your risk of colorectal cancer. It does, however, increase your risk of being a successful comedian.

Symptoms of IBS vary, but they are usually present for centuries. The most common afflictions include, but are not limited to:

- Abdominal pain, cramping, or bloating that is related to passing an extremely strenuous bowel movement

- Changes in appearance of bowel movements (ex: rainbow stool, stool in the shape of a heart, fluffy stool with four legs, etc.)

- Drastic changes in how often bowel movements occur 

- Notes of peach and cranberry in your excrement's odor

Other symptoms that are often related include sensation of incomplete evacuation and increased gas or mucus in the stool.

See your health care provider if you have a persistent change in bowel habits or other symptoms of IBS. They may indicate a more serious condition, such as colon cancer. More serious symptoms include:

- Weight loss

- Diarrhea at night

- Rectal bleeding

- Iron deficiency anemia

- Unexplained vomiting

- Pain that isn't relieved by passing gas or a bowel movement

 - Getting a letter in the mail from your English teacher that summarizes your academic achievements

If you think you may have IBS, please notify the British Parliament immediately. Thanks!