I am Iron Man

Happy birthday to me!!! Yayyyyy

My aunt and her girlfriend do this cute thing where they look at each other with a raised eyebrow whenever they see someone driving like a dipshit and it’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. Their road rage works so well together

Road trips > airplane <3

At what point so thick thighs become fat thighs? 

I just told a kid that the sun was 3.3 million times bigger than the earth. Now, I’m pretty sure this isn’t true, but he also believed me when I said that 5 minutes was WAY bigger than 2 hours. So yeah, I’m pretty much God in this kid’s mind. 

I really want to change my @ but 1) I don’t know what I would change it to, and 2) I feel like people wouldn’t recognize my writing as well if I changed it now 

The father: come here, right now
          Kid: *mumbles something*
          The father: right now, I said
          Kid: I know, I said!
          
          My neighbors at 10 pm. 

I hate how pushy Instagram reels are when they’re trying to get me to scroll to the next video after watching it once. Like I’m just trying to rewatch the reel ok?? Leave me alone. 

My friend is sick and on her period and I feel like I just need to say sorry to everyone that had ever happened to. 

Bucky, anime, avengers or Mha because yes