imscaredofheights
Are you alright? Are you alive? Please respond
guyslistenitsnot_me
imscaredofheights
I miss you so much. Maybe too much?
guyslistenitsnot_me
this message may be offensive
TW: domestic abuse
So guys, you might have noticed that I just took UBYI down. I know I am late to addressing this, but I really couldn't post anything for the first few days because posting anything on the situation really wasn't at the top of my priorities list being that it took a long while for me to process everything as is. As you likely could have assumed, I removed UBYI due to wilbur being a confirmed domestic abuser, and the fact that I simply do not feel comfortable keeping a story published with him as a main character. Fuck wilbur soot #SupportShelbySquad
guyslistenitsnot_me
Hey, as some of you might know, I'm going through and editing Meant To Be and Unmarked By Your Insanity (still not married to the name on that one, and I'd be totally open to any suggestions), and I just wanted to say that the most recent republished part of mtb is a special one :)
DinoLoverRIP
Ok this is super random but I’m irl friends with @imscaredofheights and our whole table at lunch calls you Florida Boy
guyslistenitsnot_me
this message may be offensive
It's story time--
Anyone else reject your friend's invitation to a dance because it makes you uncomfortable to think about liking them? Anyone else get scared they're going to hate you for taking it like that, even though they meant they wanted to go like friends, because they don't like you like that anymore? Anyone else going to fucking cry when you see them tomorrow?
Couldn't be me, I wouldn't cry because they probably actually hate me, or because no one else is going to like me like they used to, or because I hate myself and my life. I'd never fucking cry about that, I wouldn't work out until my ribs are bruised because I can't handle how I look. I wouldn't look in the mirror and nearly gasp because this //isn't// how I thought I looked when I felt confident earlier. I wouldn't cry because I have plenty of friends but I don't know how to trust any of them. I wouldn't cry because I pull shit like this and rant about my problems to people who don't care.
Because I'm smarter than that, right? ....right?
guyslistenitsnot_me
@imscaredofheights Thanks, I love you too. You scared me for a second with the username change lol. I hope the Nateli thing will get me through the week because I'm trusting you on the hilarious bit. Let's just call it good luck and cross our fingers lmao
imscaredofheights
this message may be
offensive
@guyslistenitsnot_me I love you. Plan B, meet this awesome trans dude hopefully though whatever person that is cool is fine at the dance and keep cutting your hair shorter until it's like a pixie cut and in reality your parents can't do shit if you do that, just try to talk to you about it. But keep your head up and just try to make it through stuff with a positive look on everything. I'm sorry this is the shit you're going through though. Just be positive and within every conversation just say Nateli (Two guys in my grade that are probably gay ((Nate + Eli)) that are also in my gym class. Don't worry just believe that it's hilarious.)
imscaredofheights
Do you think we're soulmates in every universe?
guyslistenitsnot_me
this message may be
offensive
@ElliotWritesShit I'm not sure... I want to say yes, but the existence of infinite universes means we aren't in at least one, and there is endless amount of variation, so that would mean things are at least minorly different in every one... The implication of infinite universes is so exciting and wonderous. Though it's also scary because there is a universe where I'm not even me. In the most Ship of Theseus way possible, I wouldn't even be me. As shit as things are here, and as unwarranted as it was for me to write a paragraph response to a simple question (sorry about that), I'm gld this is the universe I'm in, and that I get to be your soulmate in this life.
guyslistenitsnot_me
this message may be offensive
Guys, life is shit and I can't do anything about it, but some things make it worth while...
Like buying a new book and finding the perfect place for it to go, like rereading a favorite novel, like understanding a book at your core, like... well, mostly things about books. But there are other things, too. Like talking to people I know, like painting when I have a plan, like organizing new shelves, or finding new things to crowd my walls. Like making a new spotify playlist, or blasting music, or listening to an audiobook. Like going on long ass rants about things I probably shouldn't be so passionate about. Like not wanting to die when I look in the mirror, like finding a new piece of jewelry with meaning, that I'll never take off. Like feeling loved, like the bittersweet pang of waiting for the future. Like understanding a subject and loving how much it just makes sense. Like realizing there are reasons to live, even if they are few and far between.
Maybe I'm not on good terms with living, and maybe each day makes me want to die a little bit more, but I'm sure I wouldn't be here if it weren't for the small things. So maybe that one conversation that lasted 20 seconds didn't change my life, but it did get me through the day. And as unappealing as that sounds, if it gets me to moving out and being happy... I'm all in.
guyslistenitsnot_me
Hey, I know it's a little early, but Happy Birthday. I'm sorry if I don't respond fast enough or at all, sometimes it seems too late and I decide it would be rude. Anyway, I hope you're doing better, I wish you all the best.
guyslistenitsnot_me
@ElliotWritesShit (I tried as soon as I saw your first message, and I've got it--it works)
imscaredofheights
@guyslistenitsnot_me (alright try with the right password or I'll try to make a new one or something)
guyslistenitsnot_me
@ElliotWritesShit (Glad to be of service, if you don't exercise your tear ducts, the tear lovers will drill you new ones--It happened to my sister, but they could have just been mad she stole their cats. Sorry, I'm in a stupid mood, I've been binging Ice Age all day, my sense of humor is bound to be diluted by shitty jokes. Also, yeah, I still have the joint account, but I haven't signed into it in a while because the last time I tried, I must've typed in the password wrong because it got all mad at me and said it was going to notify someone that there was a hacking risk or something. Oops.)
guyslistenitsnot_me
this message may be offensive
Head empty just thought of death, everything I have to know for school, books, music, stresses and fears, how time works, tons of people, contemplating life, weird facts I saw on brain games when I was six, an irrational distaste for all meat, and a bunch of other shit that lives there rent free.
But yeah, other than that, mind empty, just frog.