graysiner

Kms.

PickleWolf

Hey Grayson. 
          
          Before I start this, I want to assure you that I'm not trying to gain your sympathy or forgiveness and I just felt like this needed to be said. I've felt this way for a while. 
          
          Grayson, I'm truly sorry for how I acted towards you and I'm sorry for betraying you. I used my mental health as a sick excuse and I realized that now. I keep thinking about you and wondering how you've been and it makes me feel ill when I remember how terrible I acted because I was trying to appear cold or sociopathic. Shane has been cut out of my life, I couldn't live with the fact that I spoke to someone who hurt you. I realized the kind of person he is now and I promise not to be manipulated so easily ever again. You're such a talented artist and writer, I found you on deviantart but I was too scared to follow you. I see some of your vent art and I always feel sick knowing I broke you and did what I did to you. You're a good person, and I'm so sorry for breaking your heart. I'm truly sorry for being a part of your trauma and destroying your trust in others. 
          
          I don't need any forgiveness, I just can't help but wonder about you every day. All I want is some sort of response so I know you're okay. I didn't lie when I said I can't stop caring. 
          
          -X.

graysiner

this message may be offensive 
@PickleWolf I'm sorry for what I did to you about the Mikey situation.... I didn't know any better and also I was 13 and being dumb and also he was your alter (not blaming you sorry if it sounded like it) and I trusted your alters so again I'm sorry for that and the vent exposing shit you didn't deserve that either or the wattpad spam thing as well. As for how I been feeling I been feeling very shitty do to being lied, gaslight, use, abused, sexualized and so much worse by 16-19 years old who where my friends... And also abandoned and shit and now I basically have no one.... I'm so sorry for what happened between us and I'm sorry for what i did when I was in love (or had a crush on you) stage I just wanted to feel someone love me/care for me and I had an unhealthy obsession with that (I realized how fucked up it was now because a doctor/psychologist told me it was an unhealthy obsession.) And also the reason why I freaked out so much was because I thought you wouldn't love me if I wasn't into true crime anymore (I'm still sorta into it I don't mind you talking about it or anything!) And that's why I left because I thought you wouldn't love me anyone I panicked (due to BPD pariond and shit) I'm sorry if it sounds like I am blaming my disorder I'm not trying to sound like that I'm sorry.... I was an huge ass to you so much because I had an unhealthy obsession with you (due to BPD) and also because you treated me very right like.... You listen to me vent, said you loved me, and you call me hunny and stuff which made me even loved you more. If you wanna be friends again we could but just warning you (again) I have undiagnosed BPD, C-PTSD, bipolar and sometimes I may be in a episode without even knowing because when I got mad at you for ignoring me and was very mad at you for that turns out it was a BPD rage episode and I didnt even know it!.... Please do know I am changing my behaviors to be better for people
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graysiner

Vent: I dunno how to feel empathy anymore.... I want to feel bad for what I did but cant because if anything the empathy I once had is gone. I'm sorry to anyone but the empathy is gone. It's just gone. I'm sorry but I can't control it I don't feel anything anymore due to constant drama because the drama between me, zada, Ethan, lasted mid may-late July and then I had drama with Xavier, shane through early August-mid October so think about how that affects you? I can't control my emotions anymore.

Emilyanderson19

@grayisatdennishouse  you are very welcome
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graysiner

@Emilyanderson19 thanks you so much
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Emilyanderson19

@grayisatdennishouse If you ever need someone to vent to, My DMs are always open!
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