Hey everyone, another update, I'm doing ok now. Haven't had a panic attack/episode for a few months and I'm doing better.*knock on wood* it's more of a...spiritual thing happening with me now. I am praying to god alot now, been looking up stuff about heaven and the existence of time and reality. But I've been...learning what the true meaning of life is and people never found it out for centuries. But...I think I did. I just prayed to not only god or jesus, but to my family members that are up there in heaven, that I will live my life happily. Not only for my living family,not only for them or god and jesus, but myself! Yeah, I know that I'm gonna still have those dark thoughts and anxiety thoughts, but I'm gonna charge through, for my family, for god,for me....and you guys. I said to God that I'm going to find my muse again. I'm gonna write my stories! Sorry for rambling, I just wanted this to be heard. Thank you all that prayed for me and listened to this coo-coo direwolf ramble. I love you all,my direpack....see you later!