bianaanddex
come back
cremexpuff
cremexpuff
I don't even know what to type anymore- um-
So today.. I nearly had a mental breakdown lol-
So basically- someone asked me to change seats to this place with a really bad vibe( I'm not even exaggerating. It was so horrible I couldn't stand it)
I didn't want to turn it down and make them feel as if I were being selfish so I agreed- and I don't have many friends in the first place.. I was never others first priority-- so I was darn lonely.
Can you imagine going to a place EVEN LONELIER? I really almost just broke down right there. I wanted to go back so so so bad. I hated the vibe there.
My tears were already just.. falling already. Uncontrollably.
I had to pretend like I was fine.
But then my teacher stepped in and be like: oh you can't change your seats during covid.
My first thought was: OMg tysm, ily Cher!!!!
Seems childish I know but my self control was like depleting. You know when you just bottle up all the feelings and all of a sudden that bottle is gonna tip over in front of people you don't want to let them see you're crying but this all just adds on the burden and you just wanna run out of class?
I can relate.
I really hate life already. Stupid life. Why do you exist.
Kind people are no longer existent.
bianaanddex
@cremexpuff I just hope you're okay. Even though I'm not sure how I can help you, remember that I'll always be available if you need anything. ❤️ Love, yubin
bianaanddex
@cremexpuff i'm sorry.... idk what to even say anymore. i'm nervous if my advices might be annoying i mean ive said everything i could but- it seems like... i'm sorry i'm just not sure of myself anymore cause i'm not in a good mood these days either idk
jinxuan_tea
ive seen u cry :( and everyone is selfish its just part of you AND CMON IM REAL ILL LISTEN TO UR STORY IDEAS ALL THE TIME
watch me ill prove it to u
leek_jpg
i want to cry
the burnout is serious
cremexpuff
@BlissaBlue AYEEEEE WHY YOU CRYING :(( I have never seen you cry before.. What happened? Ugh. I knew this was all gonna build up and take a large toll on you in the end. STOP SMILING AND GET SOME LOVE YOU CUTE ASS DUMMY :( What happened.. You have me :) I love you Kay? Is it your parents? Friends? (Which I don't approve-- sorry-- But I know you like them a lot--) school? Homework? Tell me .^.
cremexpuff
hello people- sorry im posting too much abt myself lol-
I have this problem where I can't look into people's eyes
lol- idk whether it's cause I'm just shy or what but I can't look into other people's eyes without having a burning feeling in my eyes in less then 2 seconds-
(do i forget to blink when i look at others? hm..)
anyone else has this problem-?
Ok but right, if you know me irl and you did notice this abt me (@jinxuan_tea only rly lol) please don't misunderstand it kay.. It just an anxiety problem
heh
cremexpuff
@jinxuan_tea sweet ;v; ill thank her for that hehe uHm sUrE? Just don't do it while I'm there- thanks very much kiddo
cremexpuff
If I claim to be aromantic but am touch deprived(NOT SEXUAL- just yknow, soft stuff) am I still aromantic?
Btw, and dominants or switches here that secretly likes being a sub once in a while? :3
I lub y'all u3u
cremexpuff
So um hi..
I’m very sorry for not updating. I’ve been writing a new book. But my mental health is really.. not working out for me(?)
I’m unable to tell anyone about this other than.. Y’all..
i will be on a hiatus for writing. But I will still be on wattpad. Im very sorry. I feel like my whole.. life is just gone.
No one is real anymore. Im not real. I don’t know. People hate me. I used to love giving advice to others who seemed to be facing depression.
I say:
It’s ok, you’ll get over other. Don’t let this drag you down.
But now as I myself am on the brink of depression, it’s not that easy. No one is even there to tell me I’ll get over it. No one.
Kinda hurts.
I’m just staring into blank space, at times imagining scenarios where I fail my Teachers my parents or myself. Or imagining that someone would miraculously come and become my friend and tell me everything will be fine. But no, it’s not happening.
Lol
I don’t know what my life is anymore.
And I feel worthless after ranting like that. Sorry, guys. Love y’all
cremexpuff
@PentagonsChaoticLife sigh I wish you were here too ;^; I understand. I feel like I'm getting worse each day lol- agiaksbsiabskabskssvja
lovelyjooongie
I really wish I had the ability to be that person who magically comes up and becomes your friend, I really do. I can’t do anything more than say, I feel the very exact thing. My week has been very hard with a lot of fights with my friends, my mom constantly getting on my nerves. I really wish we both get a better week, month or even year. Know that it’s fine to take a break, and don’t be sorry about ranting, I love reading them and seeing what I can do to help, I’m not that good of a help tho, anyway ly
cremexpuff
Sooooo sOmEoNe decided to ask me wHaTs mY idEaL tYpE..
idk. What should I say lol. All the girls are so good looking but I don't like any of them. All the boys look like.. eW so no.
But in Kpop.. I don't look at girls for some reasons ;0;
The boys are better looking ;) esp this man in my pfp
And well..
Actors look good too ;^;
I guess I'm more of a shipper than someone who would have a crush on others tho.
Smh.
I mean- hEllO? The fact that I dated three times before doesn't mean it's not infatuation ok.
I just realized that my taste sucks.
Not @BlissaBlue tho.
Am I aromantic?
Tbh, I'm not very sure. I just don't look at anyone now. I don't have a crush or stuff. So yeah I'm great.
Ideal type..?
Um..
Um..
I don't know. Someone who has a disability makes me want to take care of them a lot. Someone bright( not noisy istg, I'm very sensitive to noise) someone.. like a leo or Sagittarius. Someone who makes me laugh a lot.
I also tend to like people who are older than me (smh)
cremexpuff
@BlissaBlue either ways-- virgos are really so goddamn prettyyyyyy bUt I can't get along with them so yes :) Why are they so loud some times- Sorry to y'all virgos- but I srsly can't with people THAT TRY TO ACT ALL NICE AND MATURE BUT ARE SENSITIVE AS HECC( not sure if this applies to ALL virgos but yes, I have met people like that and that's a big eW for me)
cremexpuff
soooo.. i have 5 works.. 10 reading lists.. and FIFTY FOLLOWERS!!! Tbh, i don't rly care about who follows me, only for my beautiful friends (too many actually) that are on my board, but still.. tysm ily ;^;
cremexpuff
@PentagonsChaoticLife man- me be suffering from a writers block now ;-; you're not the only one who can't wrte
lovelyjooongie
OMG, i wish I could write books but my lazy a** can’t lol, congratulations ig (ig bc you said you don’t really care lol)
cremexpuff
this message may be offensive
I honestly think I may be suffering from depression. But I have no one to talk too. I'm very tired. Exams are coming up. I feel like shit. I want to cry so badly. But I know no one will care about me crying. :) very tired. Very.
cremexpuff
OMGGGGGGG @WANGangelXIAN tysmmmmm for the extremely GORGEOUS cover of It's okay not to be okay!! i literally love you to neptune and back -V-
