barnes.

〖  JAMES BUCHANAN BARNES  〗


cognitive dissonance, deja vu, nausea. 
i have forgotten how to feel
but i still remember all the words for it. 
                                  for the pretend of it. 

the taste of my blood in my mouth
in reminiscent of the taste of your blood in my mouth. 
the taste of my blood in your mouth. 
the taste of blood, the taste of forgetting. 
the screaming, the white hot pain.
i cannot remember how to unclench my teeth.
where i end and you begin, has it begun?
is this feeling? is this what love is?

i have all the words and all of the screaming
but none of the reasons. 
my instructional manual is smeared with blood. 
and this has only just begun to seem wrong, 
                                            is there a right? 
                        is there a right direction or a state of being?

the taste of blood. 
                            the screaming.
                     is this what love is? 
                                   the pretend of it?



[ t.s:  i'll be good - jaymes young ]
[ f.c: s. stan ]