ℝ𝕪𝕦𝕜𝕠 𝕄𝕒𝕥𝕠𝕚

"Hey, your still alive right..? I cant have one of my besties disappering out of thin air-"

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          ﾟﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*ﾟ:*:✼✿ ♡ ✿✼:*ﾟ:.｡..｡.:*･ﾟﾟ
          
                ❑ ; EAT YOUR MEALS & STAY HYDRATED ! 
                ❑ ; LOVE YOURSELF JUST LIKE WE LOVE YOU ! 
                ❑ ; DO YOUR WORK. IF YOU NEED HELP IM HERE!
                ❑ ; DO YOUR BEST ! I BELIEVE IN YOU ! 
                ❑ ; YOU ARE AMAZING ! YES YOU ARE !! 
          
          ﾟﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*ﾟ:*:✼✿ ♡ ✿✼:*ﾟ:.｡..｡.:*･ﾟﾟ
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          //Hello friend! Its nice too see you! ^^ 
          //Make sure you stay, healthy kay? 
          //I dont wanna see you hurt. TnT
          //If your feeling down, give me a call! 
          //Need a hug? Im right here.
          //Wanna play Uno? I got cards~
          //Problems in the background? Im here to listen!
          //Need ideas? Lets brainstorm together!
          //Chaos? I have a few friends~
          //Need more of these messages? 
          //Ill write some for you!
          //Y'know why?
          //Because i love you❤

My friend decided to tell me that Emma was a ✨wuss✨.  So- Here's me ranting about how badass Emma was.
          
          There will be tpn spoilers. (Anime only, I haven't read the Manga—)
          
          
          Emma may seem sweet and air-headed, but these are some reasons why she's not as air-headed as one may think:
          
          She's only 11 and she can withstand a shit ton of bloodloss, demons, ect. She's really well trained and smart. She has the self-control to cut off her own  e a r. She had her leg broken and still kept her emotions in check after learning her ``mother`` was selling her family off to their death, including Norman who was extremely close to her. So yes- Ray may seem like he's more ``intimidating`` than her. And Norman seems ``smarter``. But I believe that Emma had the best character development. She was one of the top 3 smartest. She was able to comprehend the situation and take charge after Norman and Ray were- well, you know...+ was smart enough to know HOW to train for the outside world in which she didn't quite understand. In turn, Emma's a badass. Try and prove me wrong. I dare you. ♡

Can you look at my profile? My tag didn't work-

Do I look lonely?
          I see the shadows on my face
          People have told me I don't look the same
          Maybe I lost weight
          I'm playing hooky with the best of the best
          Put my heart on my chest so that you can see it, too
          I'm walking the long road, watching the sky fall
          The lace in your dress tingles my neck, how do I live?
          The death of a bachelor
          Oh oh
          Letting the water fall
          The death of a bachelor
          Oh oh
          Seems so fitting for
          Happily ever after (woo)
          How could I ask for more?
          A lifetime of laughter
          At the expense of the death of a bachelor
          I'm cutting my mind off
          Feels like my heart is going to burst
          Alone at a table for two and I just wanna be served
          And when you think of me am I the best you've ever had?
          Share one more drink with me, smile even though you're sad
          I'm walking the long road, watching the sky fall
          The lace in your dress tingles my neck, how do I live?
          The death of a bachelor
          Oh oh
          Letting the water fall
          The death of a bachelor
          Oh oh
          Seems so fitting for
          Happily ever after (woo)
          How could I ask for more?
          A lifetime of laughter
          At the expense of the death of a bachelor
          The death of a bachelor
          Oh oh
          Letting the water fall
          The death of a bachelor
          Oh oh
          Seems so fitting for
          Happily ever after (woo)
          How could I ask for more?
          A lifetime of laughter
          At the expense of the death of a bachelor

Do I look lonely?
          I see the shadows on my face
          People have told me I don't look the same
          Maybe I lost weight
          I'm playing hooky with the best of the best
          Put my heart on my chest so that you can see it, too
          I'm walking the long road, watching the sky fall
          The lace in your dress tingles my neck, how do I live?
          The death of a bachelor
          Oh oh
          Letting the water fall
          The death of a bachelor
          Oh oh
          Seems so fitting for
          Happily ever after (woo)
          How could I ask for more?
          A lifetime of laughter
          At the expense of the death of a bachelor
          I'm cutting my mind off
          Feels like my heart is going to burst
          Alone at a table for two and I just wanna be served
          And when you think of me am I the best you've ever had?
          Share one more drink with me, smile even though you're sad
          I'm walking the long road, watching the sky fall
          The lace in your dress tingles my neck, how do I live?
          The death of a bachelor
          Oh oh
          Letting the water fall
          The death of a bachelor
          Oh oh
          Seems so fitting for
          Happily ever after (woo)
          How could I ask for more?
          A lifetime of laughter
          At the expense of the death of a bachelor
          The death of a bachelor
          Oh oh
          Letting the water fall
          The death of a bachelor
          Oh oh
          Seems so fitting for
          Happily ever after (woo)
          How could I ask for more?
          A lifetime of laughter
          At the expense of the death of a bachelor

Last part?? Yay. Less of a tw, but still one for manipulation. 
          
           I stayed the night and the next day he left for Colorado. He made me apologize to him and his girlfriend for doing what I did that night...He also told me that he was going to be happier in Colorado with his new life then down here with me. So- he left. And hasn't been back since. That was about a year ago. We talk on the phone here and there...I found someone who I can actually trust. Who I love. Who hasn't told me that I'm worthless popular to contrary beliefs. I still can't accept the fact that someone can tolerate me or love me because everyone so far has proven otherwise other than my online hope family. I'm happy to have them. They make me feel accepted, oddly. I'm much happier now. I have friends, I have a family who loves me. I have a wonderful significant other. But- he still calls...He still texts. With every word he says. Every "Hey kiddo, I miss you. You should come see me sometime." I can hear the fucking manipulation in his voice. He's done it for thirteen years. To everyone, not just me. Cheated on my mother, fucked my sister/his daughter-in-law, beat his other biological daughter until cps came and took her from him, ect. He's just a fucked up man...Part of me is glad he never gave my a happy birthday on my thirteenth birthday, but the other half misses the actual good times with him, and yearned for one. He called me today in middle of class...It went to voicemail and my phone was on silent but it pissed me off so I made this. ✨✨✨

-AGAIN, same tw- Part 3 of my rant ig.--
          
          It hurts to put this to words, even to this day, if I say it I break out in tears. Anyway- he found the  cuts and burns I had on my arm. He was pissed...He started yelling "I told you...I told you people who do shit like this seek attention and are complete fucking idiots, Kinley. Why...Why the hell would you do this shit? Are you fucking absent minded just like every other kid? It doesn't help shit. You need to stop acting like you're depressed and need help. Because you don't." After I gave him every knife I had in my possession. Many- he threw them in a drawer and slammed it close. And not long after that my mother showed up...May I mention his girlfriend at the time was hiding in my room taking his side. She had her fair-share of selfharm too.
          My mother and father were yelling back and forth until my father tried to push her off the stairs of his porch. She grabbed my arm and we got into her jeep and left. He had the balls to tell me "See you Monday, kiddo." As we left. I forgot to mention he was going to beat me... Apparently many times for "lying and doing something stupid." I left him on read for 6 months. He won't let that down...I loved that 6 months. For the most part. I started public school, didn't have any friends- didn't feel deserving of any...And I was far too shy. But I made a couple of online friends. I had one online friend who stuck with me through all of that shit when I was living with my father. We call her Sayori. Heh. Anyways- one day, I was home with my 28 year old sister when he called. I finally got so pissed off that I answered. I broke down crying after hearing his voice. He was angry but that kind of fake happy-angry voice...I don't know how to put it. I agreed to go see him again for the first time in 7 months. (Yes. Another month passed.)
          
          There's gonna be another part. :I

-Same tw- I ran out of space. Second half--
          
          
          I barely ate when I was in that house. When he came home and asked if I ate, I always told him the truth...Which was no. Because we had NOTHING TO eat. So, in-turn...he yelled at me. And if I tried to lie and he found out...He ✨beat me.✨ Yayyy- My mother was always busy and I was scared to tell her what went down in that house...All she knew at the time was that  I barely ate and he yelled quite a lot. As for the schooling? I cheated...Annnnd barely did anything. It was all bullshit anyway. "GoD lOvEs yOu." Sorrta shit. It was implied but I still don't think anyone knows about that. I never had any outside contact with people other than my mother and sometimes family...Maybe one of his many girlfriends who he moved in and left within a matter of months, oh! And my online friends who I had to hide because he hated anyone met over the internet. They all hated me too. I was told that I was a fucking useless and a retard...Many, many times. He threw shit at me. Some things include: brushes, chairs and ashtrays. He yelled a lot. He had his good moments.  I got him to watch sao with me...after he and my mother noticed my lack of confidence, energy, and cheerfulness...Maybe a year or two later, they tried to get me out and about. I took one sword class lesson. One. Two days after he found out about something I did.  
          
          Shit...This will need more parts-

Rant? R a n t. I need to vent to somebody.
          
          Tw for ab*se, father figures, manipulation, self-h*rm ect.
          
          Okay so- here's what happened: eUgh- It started back in like third fucking grade...God I hated third grade. I had a teacher who hated me...H A T E D me. Maybe she was mad at me for having a shitty dad who never gave me a sleep arrangement and time. So I fell asleep in class often OR she just hated me. To this day I still have no clue. She tried to hold me back a grade and tried to tell me that I had ADHD. I took the ADHD test and I came out clean. Didn't have it, I just can't fucking focus. So, my dad...Being the shit he is. Held a meeting with her. I went to summer school...(Barely did anything there because I slept through it all.) And after that I began...✨HOMESCHOOLING✨.
          They got me set up on a curriculum called "ACE." Short for Accelerated Christian Education. Fucking ace-- So...It was O K when my shitty grandmother did the schooling. She let me sleep until 12:00 or 1:00 in the afternoon and then we rushed until 4 when my mother got off work. If I didn't do it at her pace she tried to beat me. ✨Y a y.✨ My mother and "father" always stopped her. She in-turn made me run laps in the cold around her property. After my father and grandmother got into a fight he started to homeschool me instead. Boy was that a mistake. I wish my mother had done it. Hours left alone in a dark, cold, creepy ass trailer house. A man committed fucking suicide there and you leave an 10 year old kid there alone?? FOR HOURS AND CLOSE TO DAYS WITHOUT FOOD??  
          (I ran out of room. This is just what happened, I haven't got to rant yet.)