@Blackshadowgirl2
Something, I can try and give advice, but I am so hesitant to deal with stuff like this, because I can't shake the dread that voicing more of my true thoughts will just make things infinitely worse. I am not a yeller when I'm angry or frustrated (mostly), I am too afraid to get in trouble for tone and volume to really be one, I am a cryer because I get so frustrated and upset that I start tearing up, and I hate it.
I don't know the empathy line really just hit me, there were multiple things that really hit me hard during this, but that is the one I can remember off the top of my head. Not that anything else upset me in a lesser degree, it just carries a memorability for me that is not positive. These talks, longer or short, never fail to make me feel like a horrible person and so, so guilty for not being better. Usually I'm content with who I am, I have faults but nothing horrible, but these things always shake my...my feelings on myself, even for a short while, I feel absolutely despicable and I hate it. But I know these things have to be said, there's enough of a rift between me and mom, and I don't want there to be. Because we usually get along. And I'm stupid for assuming that because nothing is said, everything is fine, I'm...I'm just oblivious to others, apparently, and I need to be able to speak up instead of going quiet and trying to go under the radar when this type of thing happens, oddly enough I'm more bolder when talking to friends or people I don't know too much opposed to doing this with mom.
Money's running short this month, because of the lawyer's bill and everything, which makes me want to get a job, but I can't because it's hard to do unless you have a High school GED or equivalent at least. So I can't help with that until I do that.
Anyways, that was slightly random. I know this upset us both, I know it upsets me mor ethan usual because i've been crying for over 10 minutes, and...I just...mom said she wouldn't offer to