SnixxFabgay

I absolutely hate running but my ma and da want me constantly doing it and never giving me a break. All I want is a break in that really too much to ask for?

My interview is in 20 minutes and I couldn’t be more scared. I arrived to the center so early and have been anxious the whole time. My social anxiety can’t take this 

Early morning interviews are the worst. I have an interview in a few hours and it’s 4:15AM I’m totally screwed because I have to wake up at half 7 to get ready fmllllll

I just suffered the worst gay panic after coming across Choni TikTok I can’t with my life.

No because I can’t be the only who thinks Friday valentine is actually a bop and not to mention Cheryl and Toni’s moments in it too like the way Toni looked at Cheryl

I’m sorry if I’m the only one but I just really don’t like Ethelhead or Ethel at all for that matter. She just annoys me and her crush on Jughead always makes me want to throw up. Idek if it’s just me but idc I just really don’t like Ethel…

I need to stop getting all here ideas and inspiration for books like I’m trying to write a Riverdale book which is still in my drafts because I want to write pre chapters like always but now I’ve started writing a PLL book like and both shows are so long

I literally made a Choni edit video but I’m literally too much of a wuss to upload it Strangers by Halsey and Lauren Jauregui literally remind me so much of them and that’s the song I used 

I hate that I thought things were changing. I had been forced to come out in front of a whole hall during my exams when I was just 14 because of a crush I had on a girl. I’d finally come to terms with who I was and that i was attracted to girls the way I should’ve been attracted to boys but wasn’t. I thought people who were my friends supported me for who I was and didn’t care but recently it looks to be the opposite. The past year I’ve tried to let it slip but I can’t find myself to do that anymore. I’ve been forced back into the closet and claimed it was just a phase I was going through since I’m just a teenager and was just experimenting. The things people have said to me for being gay really hit hard. I just finished an episode on S7 Riverdale but felt butterflies in my stomach and shivers after I seen Cheryl and Toni kissing in the locker rooms and it makes myself wonder if it’s normal to feel that way? Should I be feeling butterflies and shivers when I see one of my favourite couples kissing? Maybe I am going through a phase and I am just straight. I don’t know who I am anymore and it hurts to not know. My friends telling me why can’t I just be like them and like boys? Why do I always talk about girls? Am I really into girls because I haven’t been seen with one or being in a proper relationship with one. I feel ashamed of who I am. This app is the only place I feel safe but I feel guilty and wrong for feeling the way I do about girls rather than boys. I tried telling myself and my friends that I was into both boys and girls so it would at least seem a little normal and I even started texting boys in a relationship way but it doesn’t make me feel anything. I lie about who I am because I feel ashamed. Maybe it is a phase for me but all I know is that I feel guilty, ashamed and don’t know who I am :/

These Riverdale pre chapters take so long to write but I’m not giving up because I swore to myself I would write this book and hell I’m not going to have hours I’ve spent wasted. They just take soooo long (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞