Peanutlieutenant

This account will serve as a reminder of my disgusting fan fictions I wrote. When I was a kid, I found someone online named BlogTheGreatRouge on tumblr. Her comics inspired me to think that some awful things they were depicting were good things. Now I realize what I wrote about in my fanfics was horrendous. I accepted things that I was taught by Rouge's comics; Rouge was someone I use to look up too and the reason I started drawing in the first place. I was inspired to draw by her when I was younger. When I was a kid I told myself I wanted to be like her when I grow up. And now it makes me sick to my stomach that I even said that as a kid.

I soon realized what I was writing about in my fan fictions was wrong. It felt wrong. And I now have depression over all this. It's been years now and I still feel guilty. I didn't hurt anyone but I hurt myself. And now I realize that I was surrounding myself with people who thought that certain disgusting shit was okay.

As I'm writing this I recently found out that it was all Rouge's fault for my disgusting mindset back when I was a kid/teen. Yet I still can't help but blame myself for thinking that awful stuff was okay.

I now have to live with the fact that I wrote about stuff like that, and I'll forever be haunted by this. It was disgusting, irresponsible, scary, and most of all, very embarrassing. I could've lived my life without having such a disgusting mindset, but unfortunately I was one of those young people who were caught up in the whole Rouge mess. I developed disgusting fetishes and fantasy's that I dearly regret ever thinking about, all because Rouge's comics, drawings, stories tempted me to look up more disgusting shit while I was still a kid. 

I had other great memories from my childhood that have now been erased and replaced with the guilt of me ever thinking about that awful stuff I learned from Rouge's comics. My childhood is ruined. Forever. And I'll never look back at it the same again. 

Fuck you Rouge.