miles <3

people can be so rude and they don't even realise.
          i probably do it too.

in another world we are talking right now.
          i'm thanking you for the good times.
          i'm telling you that this time of year reminds me of you.
          i'm telling you that i'm glad i got to do some growing up with you.
          i'm wishing you well,
          and i'm excited for our futures.
          they will go in separate ways, 
          but without resentment.
          
          in this world i do not know the person you have become.
          you would not want to hear me speak.
          it all turned sour.
          your friends turned sour too.
          
          but today i'll think of our other world.
          i'll remember that i wish you happiness,
          even if you do not wish me the same.
          
          today i'll remember that once
          i fell in love with you.
          

i worry that the feelings i have are because of where we are at right now.
          
          they say that love conquers all and that is true.
          but love 'conquers' all.
          that means love wins the battle.
          and those who win battles still walk out with scars.
          
          i know that love conquers all but i am afraid of how many scars i will walk out of this with.

i am a fairweather friend to you and i know it for certain now.

never allow anyone to consume you.
          if they don't call ? go to sleep.
          if they don't text ? put your phone away and go have a good day.
          if they are distant and refuse to communicate ? go do something worth your time.
          
          you live for yourself first.
          everyone else is secondary.

i'm finding time alone to be really valuable at the moment.
          before i was finding it really hard, but now it feels kind of like a gift.
          i get to be with my family and do the things i've been too in my head to do in the past.

i love my parents.
          i hope that they will always know that

i'll find my way out of this.
          the bad feelings will pass like they always do,
          and i will be okay.
          nightmares always come to an end.
          
          i will be okay.
          this feeling will not last forever.

i tell her about the stars so that some day she'll realise
          that if the stars disappeared from the sky
          i wouldn't miss them
          because she is as beautiful as each star in the sky.

i'm so in love with this girl.
          she told me she hopes to love me forever, and i hope so too.