Name's Kye, like Cobra Kai, only without Ralph Macchio and all the suck.
However it should be noted that there is also no mercy in this dojo.
My last name is Johnson, but my dad's name wasn't John, which is pretty ironic, or maybe just ironic in an Alanis Morisette way.  The majority of the topics of that song were coincidence, not irony, but we're not here to talk about that.  I'm from Clearwater, Fl, home of tourists, homeless people, and the occasional homeless tourist.  No, I don't make fun of the homeless, no one should be forgotten, discarded, it's an authentic tragedy.  I have a wife, she frequently questions my sanity, but also thinks I'm smoking hot and highly entertaining.  We have a cat, he is very sweet but also a bully and a psychopath.
I'm really old, and have been writing a very long time.  My stuff is such a mishmash of genre there is truly something in there for everyone to like (and dislike).  I'm not pretentious, I don't think I'm smarter than you. I don't give a furry rat's ass if you think I'm deep or not.  Spoiler alert: I'm not.  And I don't write abstract shit just to be weird.  If you've read something of mine on here and liked it and that's why you're reading this, chances are you'll like the rest of my stuff.  
My stuff has been called a great many things, a few highlights: 

"Hard military sci-fi written by a non-predator Neil Gaiman who had been playing way too much Dungeons and Dragons with Hunter S. Thompson."
(Cohesion)

"A Gothic Western Road Movie with talking animals, the ghosts of various historical figures, a gaggle of Greek gods, a lake mermaid, and the Devil as a just but grumpy twenty year old redhead with a crush on her bartender."
(The Raven)

I also play the drums.  Like Stephen Adler.  Not like Matt Sorum though, because seriously, fuck that guy.