Fry_of_the_French

No, the rock was a big fat lazy slob. But he was unmovable. He was a champion sumo wrestler because no one could move him. He won every match.  And then he sent a challenge out to all warriors that no one could defeat him.  So samurai and ninja from all over Asia came to fight him, but even a sword could not pierce his rock-like skin.  But then a magician from a distant land came with a mighty weapon. A firecracker!  No one had seen such a huge firecracker before.  The magician faced off against the Rock.  He lit the fuse and placed it at the Rock's feet.  The Rock did not care.  He did not think anything could defeat him.  Suddenly, there was a huge explosion.  They were screams and cries of pain.  And when the smoke cleared, the Rock had fallen.  Everyone stood quietly and couldn't believe their eyes. A few began to cry. The magician's laugh broke the silence and he pulled another, even bigger firecracker from his robes.  The magician yelled, 'I shall rid this land of the Rock forever!' He placed the firecracker next to the Rock and lit it.  But then a young one, who was a big fan and collected all the Rock memorabilia, sprang in to action.  He snatched up a sword and 'swish', cut the fuse, saving the rock from destruction. *Bows dramatically*
          "Amazing"
          "Great story!"
          So I ask that you no longer dishonor the game with 'scissors' and 'paper'.
          "Yes master!"
          "We will master!"
          *Bows again and evaporates from existence*

Fry_of_the_French

Stop!
          "Who are you?"
          I am the master of rock! *Holds out fist*
          "Well I've got paper" *puts their hand over my fist*
          *Flips them onto table and holds a finger to their neck* and I've got sword
          "There's no sword in scissors, rock, paper!"
          That is where you are mistaken. I am here to tell you the story of ROCK! *Holds out fist* SWORD! *Holds out index finger* FIRECRACKER! *Holds out thumb*
          "I thought it was scissors, rock, paper"
          You are wrong! The ancient game has been dishonored by scissors and paper. It is a mockery of the true art of the game. Shall I tell you the story?
          "Sure"
          If you wish to hear the story, you must say 'yes master'
          "Yes master"
          Say.. 'pretty please'?
          "..pretty please"
          Say 'pretty please with a cherry on top'?
          "Come on!"
          Fine. I'll tell you the story *pulls out an old book* it all started with the rock-
          "You mean the wrestler?"