Con15con

im tired, im in pain, physically in pain because ive held in so much that now my body actually feels like its going to explode. my hands keep giving out and just dropping things, my brain keeps making me scared to just type things, whether i send it to someone or not, i constantly feel like im being watched, im sick almost all the time, every time i even start to think about anything i get sad and start thinking of killing myself or hurting myself and i cant seem to get my mind off it for more than a few minutes unless im actively talking to someone with no pauses in the conversation, like face to face or on call but every time i try to talk to someone my brain scares the hell out of me and i delete the message. its killing me and i don't know what to do anymore. i nearly cut again just a few minutes ago and i don't know what to do

Aang151Rron

Con15con

@Aang151Rron I'm looking at them right now and will add your books to my reading list
Reply

Con15con

im tired, im in pain, physically in pain because ive held in so much that now my body actually feels like its going to explode. my hands keep giving out and just dropping things, my brain keeps making me scared to just type things, whether i send it to someone or not, i constantly feel like im being watched, im sick almost all the time, every time i even start to think about anything i get sad and start thinking of killing myself or hurting myself and i cant seem to get my mind off it for more than a few minutes unless im actively talking to someone with no pauses in the conversation, like face to face or on call but every time i try to talk to someone my brain scares the hell out of me and i delete the message. its killing me and i don't know what to do anymore. i nearly cut again just a few minutes ago and i don't know what to do

Con15con

throwing away all worries, 
          throwing away all cares, 
          im not free, 
          i wouldnt go anywhere, 
          all i would do, 
          all i could think, 
          is to kill myself, 
          without a blink, 
          end it all, 
          like it was nothing, 
          then watch from above or below, 
          how useless i was to everyone i know. 
          
                                                    -im not doing too well.