Colleen Madden

God.
Love.
Friends.
Family.
Music.
Hope.
Pain.
Recovery.
Death.
Life.
Alive.
Secrets.
Struggles.
Change.

I am defined by the struggles that have molded me into who I am. There is no one who can define me, judge me, or perceive me. I am who I am. My life, my past, my family, my pains, my fears... all make me into who I am today, right this very moment. I knew a man who told me that personalities don't change, that we grow in our strengths. Sometimes that's true. But for me, I grew in my weaknesses. I was afraid - not anymore. I was ugly - not anymore. I was hiding - not anymore. There are so many things in my life that have affected me, both negatively and positively, that I can't possibly tell it all at once. There have been good things and bad things. But they have made me who I am, and I will never take the opportunity to change it if I could. I will take the hits, and I may fall, but no doubt I will pick myself up again. I will always stand up again, even if I'm covered in scars and wounds that won't heal. Even when I'm hurting, I won't give up. I have a God who loves me, who makes me perfect, who knows me for who I am, not for what I've done. I've done wrong, yes. And I still do wrong. Every day. But He will not look at me for those wrongs, but will look at me for my love for Him. I want to change. I will try to change. But I'm not worried about being accepted. Maybe I'm trying to be accepted by myself. But I know that I will always be accepted by Him. I will take on the hate and the fury and the fire. Burn me down, go ahead. But I will rise anew again.