As_you_wish_7

HIHI <3

high key really wanna get back into roleplaying ngl

I LOVE YOU!! I HOPE YOURE OK!!

well, nevermind, i guess.

i got a girlfriend! she's super awesome- we met through a mutual friend, and our mutual friend kinda hooked us up. i'm so incredibly excited to see where this goes. she's never dated a girl until now, which is kinda scary, but ya know. she's also not out to her parents but she still plans on bragging about me on her socials., and i, her to my friends(i don't have social media anymore). she's so fuckin pretty omg... i'll keep you updated <3

some things i'm looking forward to that keep me going (not all of these will apply to you as well)
          
          77 days to christmas 
          54 days to my birthday
          48 days to thanksgiving
          22 days to halloween
          15 days to my trip to nashville
          7 days to the hoco game/dad's anniversary of death
          3 days till I'm back to school

(tw: mentions of depression/su*c*de/s*xual *ssault/ e.d.s) well i know nobody sees these things anymore but i really need to get something off my chest. 
          
          i am not okay. 
          
          i'm not like su*c*dal or anything... i'm just feeling really depressed. i don't want anyone who does see this to worry about me. i'm not going to do anything. 
          
          but there's a few more things i want to finally say. so i can breathe again. 
          
          so here's a list of things that little-to-no-one knows. 
          
          1.(as previously mentioned) i am not okay.
          
          2. i struggle with an e.d. 
          
          3. i was sexually assaulted in the beginning of this year by one of my best friends. 
          
          4. i have thoughts of k*ll*ng m*s*lf and others (though i would never intentionally bring harm to anyone, including myself).
          
          5. im scared of heights because i feel the urge to jump.
          
          6. i'm afraid to fall in love again, but i desperately want to. 
          
          7. my friends don't mean to, but sometimes they make me feel guilty for complaining about having a dead dad.
          
          8. i'm in love with my best friend, but it can't work right now because she lives across the country. and she makes fun of my being a cthristian.
          
          9. my dad's date of death is next week and it's taking a toll on me. 
          
          10. my stepdad scares me sometimes. 
          
          i'm sure there's more that i'm not thinking of. and i know for a fact there's a few that i'm just not ready to tell anyone. 
          
          this is all for now.
          
          good night. 

bro i really wan to live the cheerleader x football player teenage movie but i'm in color gaurd and there are no girls on my school's football team fucking kill me pleaseeee

i had my first therapy session today.. it was over the phone with a lady who did therapy for my mom when she was 18. she's super nice and i didn't hate talking with her, though i would've rather had it done in person. she recommended i get a psych eval just so i can wrap my head around what's happening in my head. she didn't recommend me taking meds if they prescribe them- not at first anyways.

i'm sad because a while ago i used to roleplay and my mom made me block everyone i roleplayed with and i unblocked them a month ago and i forgot the @ 's of to people who i really miss roleplaying with and i started roleplaying again cause my mom doesn't care anymore but i'm upset. 
          
          anywho i remember one of their actual names and it was chris he was a super nice dude and i was really invested in our roleplay. it was our Harry Potter OCs x each other and gooood i loved the story i miss you chris and i miss your oc Taylor too! (i really hope i didn't mix up you and your oc's names ahah)