Andrianna2016

I dislike my mind

Andrianna2016

Time passes and I'm proud of myself for my growth, in disbelief at my past characteristics, thankful for the positive growth and then realise it's never so straightforward because here I am, being my own worst enemy by being a version of myself I thought I wasn't. 
          It's funny how I think I know how I am, and how I'll act but my emotions remind me even though I logically know what's right, it's not understood deeply enough to reflect the state of my emotions. 
          
          Guess it's a combination of being lonely and having that feel like it's been for longer when it hasn't.  And also letting my heart run away with my mind when my feet should be planted firmly on the ground. I should stop, stop getting so caught up in scenarios that will never be so. 
          
          Don't think there's a conclusion to this either 
          Just wish I could stop being like this 
          
          
          All this from a whale-induced introspection. 
          Hopefully I'll make myself cry less in the life that's left to come. 
          

Andrianna2016

I'm on a path I don't want to be, sacrificing a lot to get somewhere and I can't even openly dislike this path because I'm surrounded by people who actually want to be here, and that's good for them but I don't. 
          
          I'm still young but somedays I feel like I've lived through decades, weighed down by life and its demands with no way out. 
          
          I just pray, wish, hope that the future holding something better becomes my present soon because I don't know if I can do this forever. 
          
          I..miss you, I miss me. 
          
          This version of me is somewhat decent, often shitty and I just want things to be better.
          I want to want to be better. 
          
          I think I'm going to miss the future till it becomes the past. 
          I love you E. I just hope that's enough. 

darkmidnightsky17

Hi, I just wanted to see if you’re doing well. I love reading your books but I just wanted to know on how you’re well-being is. Please be healthy and safe. If you want to go back into writing then that’s great but I just hope you’re doing okay. :)

Andrianna2016

@starlightshine3 it's been nearly a year but thanks for checking up on me. Sadly my writing skills and time have left me but maybe they'll visit someday in the future . Hope you're doing okay too:)
Reply