-Paulline-

you can read some of my thoughts in my new book  - COFFEE BREAK -

i have a question, but i don't wanna hear the answear...
          where is the borderline?

why everytime he texts, i feel like an addict who has  favorite bottle of alcohol right in front of me and it's just a matter of time when i grab the bottle?
          
          and why do i everytime after texting back, feel like having an hungover and using "never again" phrase, although everyone know that i'm totally gonna get fucked up again?

why doing everything right isn't enough?

We are all looking for something more than this.

last year i was screaming at myself in the mirror
          "they took away my smile"
          
          this year i am smiling to myself in the mirror saying
          "i took it back, i fought it back, but why it isn't enough?"
          

That one morning, when sun was shining and I woke up tired, I looked at my phone and finally did it. I deleted that stupid message, and with that message I wanted to deleted the past for the first time in my life. That was the moment I realized I was hurting. And that was my breaking point. I won't fucking let him destroy me slowly and make me regret the memories. Cause when I'm fat and old I wanna remember everything, the good and the bad. And I don't ever let some boy destroy that for me, turn my happy memories into sad ones. So that's it. The end. Thanks for the mmrs. I guess.
          
          
          ...now excuse me I'm gonna make myself happy.

sometimes, when i sip my coffee i feel like i was in his arms

Those expectations are going to kill me

i'm gonna kiss a stranger hoping it will be his eyes i will think about in the morning