Angel praiser ;3

ANGEL DUST>>>>>>>

Yall i got a Cat, A girlfriend, a new phone, and a new best friend over spring break 

Wanna know how I think Middle school or Highschool friends are different than friends you've had before you can remember? With Childhood friend, it's sincere, they've seen you at you highs and lows, they've seen you at your kindest and bitchiest, They've seen you when you had nobody and you had everybody. They've seen you when not even yourself wanted to see you. With Middle school or Highschool friends, they cherish you and love you, but one thing they'll never have is the memories. You can tell them about how that one friend fell through your trampoline that one time, or how you broke your friends swing, or how bike riding to the highschool that you thought you would never get old enough to go to was so fun, as many times as you want. But one thing they'll never have is being that one friend. The friend that fell through the trampoline, the one you broke that swing from. The one riding next to you on that bike. When friendships were honest, genuine, when crushes and looks weren't everything. The one that you can't imagine life without. And that's, that why you can never, never, take away the difference. Because they'll never be that one friend who you laughed for hours with because they back flipped to far off that trampoline they broke.

TW: Probably really long built up vent
          
          I CANT. I LET SOMEONE IN, AND I THINK THEY UNDERSTAND ME AND THEY WILL KEEP THEIR WORD. BUT IM NOT FUCKING GOOD ENOUGH. IM NEVER ENOUGH. I TRY MY HARDEST, I WILL FEEL HAPPY FOR A LITTLE, THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN EVERYTHING'S MY FAULT. EVER SINCE I MOVED I FEEL SO USELESS, SOMEONE IS ALWAYS BEFORE ME. IM NEVER SOMEONE'S FIRST CHOICE. MY MOST RECENT EX BESTIE, AND THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON TO ME IN THIS ENTIRE HELL SAKEN SCHOOL, HATES ME FOR "BREAKING" A FUCKING PROMISE I DIDNT EVEN MAKE. HER NAMES FUCKING GRACIE. I DONT CARE ABOUT NICKNAMES ANYMORE FOR PRIVACY. GRACIE SAID I EXPLODE OVER SMALL THINGS. DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT HURT? AND NOW SHES WITH EMERSON. GODAMMIT. EMERSON. THE TOXIC MANIPULATING LITTLE BITCH. THE ONE ME AND GRACIE HAVE TALKED ABOUT, HOW GRACIE HATED HER. NOW THEY HAVE A CRUSH ON EACHOTHER. I KNOW THEY DO. NORMAL FRIENDS ARE THAT CLOSE. I CANT STOP CRYING. NO ONE UNDERSTANDS, ANNALIESE WAS SOMEONE I TRUSTED. SHE SAID SHE WAS BLOCKING THEM CAUSE THEY WERE TOXIC. I TOLD HER I DIDNT CARE, BUT SHE INSISTED. WANNA GUESS? THEYRE BESTIES. IM LOSING ALL MY FRIENDS. IM A SECOND OPTION. IVE TRIED BEING POSITIVE, BUT NO ONE LISTENS. I WANT TO PACK MY SHIT AND RUN AWAY. CHANGE MY NAME, DYE MY HAIR. I WANT TO BLOCK EVERYONE, START NEW. PEOPLE SAY THEY CARE BUT I FEEL ALONE. IM SO FUCKING REPLACEABLE, THEY CAN ACT LIKE I DONT EXIST.  YOU KNOW WHO MADE EVERYTHING BETTER? GRACIE. SHE WAS UNDERSTANDING, SUPPORTIVE.. SHE GOT ME. BUT NOW SHE COULD CARE LESS ABOUT ME. NO ONE CARES. IVE NEVER IN MY LIFE EXPIERENCED A FRIENDSHIP WHERE THE OTHER PERSON CARES ABOUT YOU SO MUCH THEY WOULD TAKE A BULLET FOR YOU. I FEEL LIKE MY OWN PARENTS ARE GETTING SICK OF ME. IM THE FUCKING "BACKSEAT" FRIEND, THE ONE THEY WOULD VOTE OUT FOR A 2 PERSON PROJECT. IVE GOTTEN SO GOOD AT HIDING MY EMOTIONS, BECAUSE IF IM TO SAD NO ONES GONNA WANNA BE MY FRIEND. CAUSE NO ONE WANTS TO DEAL WITH HUMAN FUCKING EMOTIONS.

How do actors be kissing people 10-15 times and not fall in love, while I'm over here crushing on someone because they asked me for a pencil

Im sobbing. I have an assignment due tommorow in history and I still have to do 8 questions, a full timeles and an entire slideshow.

A quote that hit me really hard was "To heal a wound you need to stop touching it"

You know the worst thing?
          The smell after you just cried.

I cant fucking do this anymore, im so done, I feel like there's only 2 people in my life that care anymore. I'm so tired, I hate 2023 and I can tell I'm gonna hate 2024.

Happy new year yall :)