-December 9th 2001-
At Central Perk Me,Monica and Phoebe are hanging out as Rachel enters.
Rachel:Hi.
Phoebe:Oh hey.So how did your doctor’s appointment go?.
Rachel:Well let’s see.Uh they gave me cute doctor today and in the middle of the exam I put my pinky in his chin dimple.
Phoebe:Oh my God.
Tabitha:Why did you do that?.
Phoebe:Okay remember that little problem I was having during my fourth month of pregnancy?.
Monica:Oh yeah the Evander Holyfield phase.
Elizabeth:Oh man you were so hard up you practically came on to me.
Phoebe:You wish.
Elizabeth:"Teases".Hey I could’ve had you if I wanted you.
Phoebe:Oh yeah?.Come and get it.
Rachel:Okay even this is turning me on.
Ross:"Enters".Hey.
Rachel:Oh hey,Hey Ross.Hey how’s it,how’s it going with you and Mona?.Are you guys still together?.
Ross:Oh yeah,yeah we’re moving forward. You’ll be getting our card.
Monica:You and Mona are doing a holiday card together?.
Ross:Yeah we’re not just doing a card. Y’know she,she also wants to have the conversation about where the relationship is going.
Phoebe:Ugh.Women.
Ross:I know,I know.Why do you guys need to have this conversation?!.Huh?.I mean no self respecting man would ask a woman.So where is this going?.
Rachel:Uh Ross?.You asked me that.
Ross:Hey.You were a closed book.Okay?.I’m not a mind reader.Besides I hate those conversations.I’m horrible at them.Really. Maybe,maybe I need kind of a gesture. Y’know something that says we’re moving forward without having to talk about it.
Monica:Like asking her to move in with you?.
Ross:Smaller than that.
Elizabeth:Making her a mixed tape?.
Ross:Uh bigger than that.
Phoebe:Give her a key to your apartment.
Ross:Whoa hello.We were closer with the mixed tape.
Monica:All right.Have you said.I love you?. You could say I love you.
Ross:Yeah I-I don’t,I don’t think I’m quite there yet but I could say I love spending time with you.
Phoebe:No we hate that.
Monica:That is a slap in the face.
Ross:Forget it.I-I Y’know what?.I’ll just have the conversation.I’ll just say I like things the way they are and hope for the best.What do you think Rach?.
Rachel:I think if it was a little colder in here I could see your nipples through that sweater.
*****************************************
-December 13th 2001-
I leave Me and Chandler's apartment bathroom to see Him,Monica and Zakery sitting on the couch watching TV.
Elizabeth:Hi.
Chandler:Are you,are you high?.
Elizabeth:I just had the most amazing bath.
Chandler:Really?.I don’t like baths.
Elizabeth:Wait you like them with me.
Chandler:Babe it’s not the bath I enjoy it’s the wet naked lady.
Monica:Oh baths are so relaxing.
Zakery:Really?.What do you do?.You just sit in there stewing in your own filth.
Monica:How dirty do you think I am?.I’m telling you if you had some candles and some bubbles and some music you would love it.It would take all of your stress away.
Zakery:Honey it’s 2 on a Wednesday and I’m watching Road Rules how stressed do you think I am?.
Joey:"Enters".Hey Chandler,Zakery you got a minute?.I-I really need to talk to you.
Me and Monica look at each other then we both go to the other room.
*Time Lapse*
Later that day I leave the bathroom as Chandler enters the apartment.
Chandler:Hey.
Elizabeth:Boy do I have a surprise for you.
Chandler:Sex on the balcony?.
Elizabeth:No but someone’s really not going to get over that idea are they?.
Chandler:What is it?.
Elizabeth:I drew you a bath.
Chandler:Lizzie I don’t like baths.Could you draw me a picture of us having sex on the balcony?.
Elizabeth:Please could you just try it for me?. Come on I used all my best stuff.I-I-I lit some candles.I put on some music.I used bath salts,plus bubble bath.And got you this little plastic Navy ship.So it’s a boy bath.
Chandler:Well this does butch it up a bit.
Elizabeth:I swear if you try it you will love it.
Chandler:All right if I do this can we at least discuss sex on the balcony?.
Elizabeth:Absolutely.
Chandler runs into the bathroom.
Elizabeth:Bet I know how that discussion’s going to go.
Soon I enter the bathroom to see Chandler laying in the bathtub.
Elizabeth:So?.
Chandler:Oh my God.
Elizabeth:I told you you were a bath person.'Teases".Hey when you get out maybe I can give you a facial.
Chandler:I’m going to need a bigger boat.
*Time Lapse*
The next day I enter Me and Chandler's apartment.
Elizabeth:Hello?.
Chandler:I’m in the bathroom can you come in here?.I think there’s something wrong.
Elizabeth:You know what?.I-I think I’ll wait out here.
Chandler:I’m in the bathtub.
Elizabeth:Oh.
I go into the bathroom.
Elizabeth:What’s wrong?.
Chandler:I drew my own bath but I did it wrong.The water’s tepid.The salt didn’t dissolve and is now…lodged places.And the scents I used don’t compliment each other. Eucalyptus and chamomile...Oh!.
Elizabeth:What?.
Chandler:The bath salts.They’re starting to effervesce.It’s different...It’s interesting.
*Time Lapse*
The next day we are in our bathtub on opposite ends of it.
Elizabeth:It sure is nice to do this together isn’t it?.
Chandler:Yeah.And what you’re doing feels so good.
Elizabeth:I’m not touching you.
Chandler:You’re not?.
Elizabeth:It’s the salts.
Chandler:Oh sweet Lord.New realms of pleasure.
Elizabeth:"To herself".Whatever keeps you off the balcony big guy..."To Chandler".I'm happy for Rachel and Ross.Its exciting they are gonna have a baby girl.
Chandler:I know.