13 ➤ Kisses
"You're turning 18," Alana kept repeating to herself in the mirror, hardly believing herself. The years had passed vastly too fast-moving, and the only way she could make people think she was indeed of that age was through her appearence, for if she were to list a few of the memorable things she'd done... It would probably be empty.
In these eighteen years of life she'd lived, the young witch couldn't recall going on a road trip with her friends, or a concert, or writing a book of her own. She couldn't recall summer loving, an unintentional love-story, something to make her believe it was all worth it.
All she was left with was a heartbreak, an empty heart and thoughtful mind.
Everything she stood for was gone much like her parents, locked away from her for eternity. She kept thinking about it and there was only one person to blame; Draco Malfoy, except she knew that all of the things he'd done hadn't been done with bad intentions.
There were only a few weeks left of her life as a seventeen-year-old, only a few days left until she was completely and utterly on her own, completely responsible for her own doings and, well, completely lonely. She will enter adult-life with her family separated from herself and absolutely no plans for the future, no friends, no sweet memories.
But there was still something exciting about the fact that she would finally turn eighteen, she just didn't know why. She was English, so of course, drinking or smoking would not be something she hadn't done before, but still, the recklessness of someone that had to be careful of their action winked at the witch, for she wanted to do so many bad things yet be aware of how much trouble she could get into for it. She wanted to live her life to the fullest, yet on the edge.
"Knock-knock." A voice interrupted her overthinking, so Alana quickly turned around from her mirror and was quite startled at the sight of Draco himself.
Her eyes rolled at the back of her head. "Saying knock-knock is not the same thing as actually knocking, you know?" The witch used her irritated and bothered voice, eyeing Draco leaning against the doorway and crossing his arms against his chest.
"You're not naked, are you?" joked him.
Alana looked down at her fully-clothed body. "Obviously not. But I could be." At her response, the wizard rolled his eyes and stepped into her dorm. "Come in," the girl continued sarcastically.
"As much as I'd like to talk of you and the idea of nakedness, I'm here with other business. Did you somehow... Forget, if possible, that you are the girl Prefect of our House?" As soon as he spoke, she mentally facepalmed herself.
A sigh escaped Alana's lips. "Why are you asking?"
"Well, dear, as you well know, Prefects of each house have duties around the castle, such as watch the younger students, watch the library, the lavatories... Have you been doing those things since you got back?"
"You know the answer, Malfoy," Alana crossed her arms against her chest. "Am I in trouble? Did Professor Snape ask for me...?"
He licked his lips, clenches his jaw then shoved his big palms into his pockets, "No, he didn't. I just wanted to announce that starting tomorrow night I won't be able to cover for you anymore, so you better get going with it."
The witch's eyebrows furrowed together, creating a dip to form between them. "Have you been covering for me all this time?" There was a hue of irony in her voice and the boy rolled his eyes again.
"Well, yes, I figured the deal with my father and your pals is eating your energy so, I didn't mention it. But I have better things to do, so..."
"The deal with your father...?" Alana gulped.
"Oh- The fact that he doesn't really swallow the idea of you under our name and...?" Draco seemed surprise by the girl's conused face. "At Blaise's birthday I saw you and him in the bathroom, talking- I was too zooted to ask why, but then you kind of stood there for half an hour and didn't come back to dance so I thought... That's what you two were talking. If not, this is really awkward, isn't it..."
Draco had seen her and his father together in the bathroom? Alana was a little worried he might've seen too much, but he surely did not show it. She tried covering for herself, so she shook her head. "Oh- Yes, of course. It sucks, but it is what it is. Listen-" She started pushing him outside her dorm. "I'll catch up with you at supper, alright? I have to- Uh, well, I'll see you." Then she shut the door straight in his face and pressed her back against it, exhaling in relief.
It overwhelmed her, the fact that Draco could've seen her flushed face and her closure with his father. It wasn't like they'd done anything but after all, it looked just a little weird, right? A fourty-year-old brushing the hair out of a seventeen-year-old's face.
Alana's mind flew straight to Lucius, and she wondered how stupid she had been for letting herself speak so flirty with him under the influence of not so many beers. She truly was disgusted with herself, for letting such an old man touch her like that... For behaving so cheekily with the man who frightened and detested her the most. The witch was sure that in his eyes she was just another stupid girl who he could take advantage of easily.
How could she not? She let him do anything, basically, but the question was why hadn't he done more?
Patience, he'd whispered. But patience for what? He'd vanished from her sight before finishing his sentence. He could apparate here in less than a millisecond, which was both impressing and creepy; Alana had to take a second look across the room to make sure the old man wasn't hiding behind a closet or anywhere else.
Fortunalty, he wasn't. She was all alone and thinking of her mate's father. Thinking about the way only his thumb caused such dampness between her legs, and how hot her body was under only his eyes and not his touch. She imagined how it must feel to have him on top of her, to have his palm raised to her throat, to feel him everywhere on her body.
Then she imagined how sick and idiotic her mind could be, he was probably older than her father and she was having erotic daydreams about him. How could she not, after she had let him touch her the slightest but had enjoyed it the greatest? Only a fingertip of his brushed against her heat yet it had made her wish of so much more to happen.
Was she disgusting? For hoping to catch a glimpse of him in the library again? Or to have him in the next party's bathroom? For sure she was, because girls her age were supposed to fall in love with young boys- like Blaise or Draco, or even better Theodore, if he weren't into boys.
Perhaps that was the reason why Alana hadn't a boyfriend for the entirety of her life. Perhaps she wasn't attracted to boys of her own age, boys that were practically amateurs. Perhaps she liked men.
Only the last sentence in her thoughts made her gag. The image of her marrying a dying grandfather popped in her head, then, the disgusted and weirded out looks on people's faces.
But there was no such thing as a future for her and a man. For Lord's sake, she was a seventeen-year-old students without a planned future and a desire to hex each person who looked at her. No one could ever fall in love with her.
No one would have ever wished to have a future beside her.
Then she thought about the day Draco had kissed her. Now you know why. His silky smooth shouting played in her head like a song as she let her eyes look out the window, mindlessly, and she wondered what could have been the reasons behind his need to kiss her. Perhaps he was fooling around, or perhaps he felt bad for her for the situation she was in. However, Alana was one hundred percent sure he wasn't in love with her.
No one could ever be.
Not him, not beautiful boys her age, not men, not anyone. Because as much as he'd like to hide it, she was one of the meanest, rudest and awkwardest girls to exist, and if anyone was to be in love with her, they'd be plain stupid people. One of them was not Draco Malfoy. He wasn't stupid, he was... At this point she didn't know what to call him. Confused? Perhaps he was gay too, and wanted to experience heterosexualiy on Alana's lips. It couldn't have been that though. Alana might have been lonely and quiet, but she did have eyes after all. Eyes that had seen each time Draco would come in the Great Hall holding the hand of a different girl each week, or eyes that had seen oh-so-many hickeys on his pale freckled neck. Too many details screaming straight.
Then why kiss Alana? Out of all people, the girl he'd been hating all those years, the girl who'd been hating him back all this time? The girl who not even two months ago, he had pushed into a wall and called her a slut?
Next thing she knew, she grabbed her uniform, put it on then hurried down in the Common Room, hoping to see Draco. He wasn't there though, so she left and reached the hallways then began walking quite fast towards the Great Hall where she thought she'd find him. Not there either. If he was skipping lunch, where could he possibly be? Theodore wasn't there either, and neither were Blaise or Pansy.
Did she miss a Quidditch practice announcement? It couldn't have been that though, Potter and the Weasleys were at their table in the Great Hall, and so where the Professors and the other Quidditch players. Where else could they have gone?
The witch didn't stop looking and started searching for them outside, hoping to see his white hair and Theodore's curls, but they were absolutely nowhere to be seen.
It was like they disappeared, or something.