Unedited.
[Actually, this chapter is scheduled to be published this coming Tuesday but I updated it today as it is the last day of this year. So, sorry that there won't be any update this Tuesday as I will be damn busy with my exams and the next update will be again on 12th Jan 2021 i.e., on Tuesday.]
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Dhruv's POV:
"Tell me what happened?" I asked the meek woman who was crying her guts out in my arms softly, though I knew the reason.
"As if you don't know. You all are big bullies. You all only know how to hurt me. Sometimes I just want to disappear from all your lives. I am fed up with everything." She said, making my guts wrench in pain.
"What the hell are you saying? How can you talk like that?" I asked her angrily
"Yes. You are not the one who is living my life. I am tired of living like this. Sometimes I feel like I am a burden on everyone and I am the reason for everyone's miseries. If it wasn't for me, swaru wouldn't have been suffering like that. If it wasn't for me, my mom must be a cheerful lady. If it wasn't for me, my dad didn't need to have a constant battle in his heart about whom to choose in between his wife and his daughter. If it was not for me, you don't need to live like this, you don't have to be answerable to anyone. You can do anything without being restricted by our relationship. You can help your Ex in getting her life back. See. I am just a hurdle in everyone's way. Trust me, I never intended to be one but it must be my fate but don't worry I am a strong person. I learned to live with that fact long ago and I am not saying all these to gain pity or sympathy because that's the last that I want from someone." She said all these things in a daze as I looked at her. Thinning my lips, I didn't utter a word except for tightening my hold on her and let her speak her mind.
"And Dhruv, at any time if you feel like I am not the one for you, just tell me. I will walk away from your life silently. I won't cling on to you. I will never burden you with anything. Okay? Just tell me." She said while looking into my eyes. Looking into her brown orbs which were filled with unshed tears, I got a glimpse of her broken self and I got to see how much pain she was carrying in those beautiful pair of eyes and smile.
What are you hiding from this world, Aaru?
I gulped down a lump that formed in my throat and answered her firmly. "No. You are never a burden to me, Aaru. The moment I tied this knot around your neck, we both are bound together. You became my responsibility. I will never leave you, Aaru."
She just gave me a self-deprecating smile before looking into my eyes. "Am I just a responsibility? Can I ever be a little more than that so-called responsibility? Can I even get a little space in your heart? Just answer me yes or no. So that I won't keep anymore hopes and will learn to feel content being this way."
I don't know what to answer her. Should I confess everything? Will she even believe me after what I have done? Will she feel secured once I admit my feelings?
I was still in a dilemma when she understood my silence in another way.
"So you don't remember anything about yesterday's night..right," she asked, making me gulp a little.
"I understand. I am just an obligation to you, nothing more than that..right. I will keep it in my mind. Don't worry. I won't bother you by bringing this topic again. I may need love but I am not desperate to cling on to you for that and I am not a petty person to force my feelings on you. I may seem childish but I have a firm notion regarding self-respect. Oh, by the way, just to let you know, I am going to start working soon." Saying this she walked inside the room.
I stood there in the same spot for a while in a daze after hearing her words. When I went inside, I saw her sleeping on her side of the bed silently. I sighed and went to the study room to complete the unfinished work.
By the time, I came back to the room, she was still sleeping in the same position cautiously as if she didn't want to cross the limits.
I silently took my place on the bed beside her. It was already midnight, still, my eyes refused to get a wink as I again glanced at her sleeping form, I got to know the reason for this emptiness. Daily by this time, she should be throwing her covers aside and should be crawling near me with all her limbs over me.
I was accustomed to sleeping with her in my arms. With this thought, my hand subconsciously shot forward to pull her into my embrace but immediately retracted myself when I noticed what I was doing.
If she was to witness this tomorrow, she would definitely skin me alive. I got up from the sleeping position and sat while leaning onto the headboard as her previous words drifted into my mind.
"So you didn't remember anything about yesterday's night..right,"
It's not true. I remembered everything, every damn thing but I just don't know how to face these feelings directly. Everything seems so new to me as I am unable to muster some courage to face the reality.
I recalled how I left her at the mart, how I met Ankitha, how I tried to call Aarna to explain her about the situation, how Ankitha told me about her past, how her mother-in-law caused a ruckus and accused us of being in an illicit relationship, how I got drunk remembering the adversities that Ankitha had faced, how I told Aarna everything about Ankitha once I came home, how she questioned me, how I confessed my feelings on her, how she opened up about her insecurities, how I realized what an arse I was, how I kissed her and after that everything was blank.
When I woke up, I saw her packing a bag. For a second, I thought she was leaving me but I immediately realized that she wasn't someone to escape the problems.
When I dropped her at her pedhamma's house, the moment she uttered those words, I realized how much my single mistake had damaged my relationship with her.
Still, she apologized for being rude. Did she know how her selfless behavior was making me realize how absurd I was?
I couldn't even concentrate properly on my work as my mind always got diverted by her thoughts.
In the evening, I headed home early as she said that Indra was going to drop her but when I received the call from him, asking whether Aarna had reached safely. I was confused a little and got worried when he explained what had happened at his house. I really wanted to bash him over the phone for hurting her but did I even have a right to scold him when I did the same thing to her and made her feel so insecure?
I knew it wasn't nice on my part to leave her there all alone. It was a huge blunder and I could understand how much hurt it must have caused her.
With these thoughts, I waited for her return and only breathed in relief when I saw her being safe with my eyes.
Recalling at those events, I sighed and looked at her sleeping form softly.
"If she only needs slight security from my side, why am I even hesitating in doing so? Since I realized that I have started falling for her, what's wrong with giving my best to her?" I thought with a determination and closed my eyes, still sitting like that.
The next day, I woke up and bunked my morning jog for the first time in my life to complete my mission. After freshening up, I went to the kitchen to prepare a decent breakfast for everyone.
My only agenda was to gain forgiveness from mom and Aaru as even mom stopped talking to me.
I scrambled some eggs and made lasagna along with white sauce pasta. By the time, I was done, mom made her entrance into the kitchen and got shocked when she saw me but soon she masked her shock and glared at me with a huff.
"What are you doing here?" She asked without looking at me while pretending to be angry at me. I smiled to myself and went to stand in front of her, holding her shoulders.
" Oh my beautiful ma, please forgive your poor son. Please. Your handsome son realized his mistake and he is promising you that he won't do any stupid things to hurt your darling daughter in law again." I pleaded and when I saw her controlling her smile, I hugged her and apologized again.
"Okay. Leave me but I am not the one you should be asking forgiveness for." She said and I nodded at her in an understanding manner.
"I know that's why I decided to earn her forgiveness, "I said while pointing at the breakfast that I had made
"Good to see you behaving like a normal human being instead of being a caveman," she jested.
"Maa," I immediately groaned, hearing her words.
"What!! In the past, you never bothered caring about others' feelings but now you became so considerate. Isn't it a great change?" She probed me with a smile. As much as I wanted to deny it, she was right. So I simply nodded at her and served the breakfast in a tray and took it to our room.
She just came out of the washroom while wiping her hair with a towel. When she saw me, she avoided looking at me. I sighed and placed the tray on the table before walking to her.
I held her hand and tried to make her walk along with me but she still stayed in the same place stubbornly without moving, with a slight pout on her face.
I smiled at her antics and swept her off the floor as I lifted her in my arms, catching her off guard. She immediately shrieked in surprise and wounded her arms around my neck.
"Put me down, you idiot," she shouted and I slowly placed her on the bed when I reached it.
Immediately she tried to stand up and I pressed her down with one hand and placed a breakfast plate in her hands with another.
She grumbled something under her breath and placed a little bit of pasta in her mouth as I was eagerly waiting for her response.
"God..who prepared this?" She wrinkled her face in disgust as my face fell upon hearing her words and my lips formed into a straight line.
"Why are you looking at me like this? Don't tell me you made this? Looks like you are the one who prepared this. Don't worry. You aren't considered a bad cook. It's just that..my standards are too high. So don't be disheartened. Okay?" She said while waving her one hand as her other hand was busy in filling her mouth.
I knew she liked the food but was saying all these words to agitate me. So once I got to know her intention, I decided to play along with her.
"Okay. Since you don't like it. Don't eat it anymore. I will ask Rani Aunty to make something for you." Saying this, I tried to take back the plate from her hand which she refused to let go of her hold on to it.
"Why? Didn't you say that your standards are too high? Sorry to disappoint you. I am not up to your standards." I said indignantly, again trying to get the plate back.
"I think someone made this breakfast to earn my forgiveness..right? But someone is doing exactly the opposite to it. Maybe they are not sincere, I guess." She scoffed, and immediately hearing her words, I left my hold on the plate and looked at her intently.
She smiled in glee and started wolfing down the food. My lips curved into a smile when I saw her enjoying the food like a child as I felt content in making my little woman happy with my mediocre cooking skills.
When I saw her finishing eating it, I immediately settled myself beside her and held her hand as I decided to clear the air between us.
"Aarna, I am sorry for leaving you alone on that day. I am a fool to hurt you but trust me it was never my intention. I panicked when I saw her pale face and hurried her to get into my car as she is pregnant. When I realized that I left you alone, I wanted to drive back but seeing her weak contour, I decided to drop her off first but trust me I immediately thought of calling you and explain you everything but I realized that I forgot my phone at home and her phone was running out of battery. I even stopped at a shop and called you from the landline phone that was available in that shop but you didn't attend it.."
"That day she accidentally revealed everything about the problems in her married life when I dropped her at her home as her mother-in-law made a huge ruckus, seeing her with me."
"You called me?"
"Yeah. I did." I nodded at her firmly and she immediately looked for her phone and smacked her head before smiling at me sheepishly.
"Still it was not right on your part to leave me alone there..hmph," she huffed at me and I nodded at her as I knew I was wrong and I was not telling her all these things to justify my actions. I just wanted to come clear in front of her.
"I shouldn't have come home completely drunk but so many thoughts were juggling in my mind at that time. I am not proud of it though but trust me, her mother-in-law's words were not nice at all. I was hurt hearing it once and I couldn't even imagine what she must have gone through all these years. Only to ease the guilt, I drank a little."
"Yeah. Just a little." She rolled her eyes at me and I turned my face, ashamed at my actions.
"Let me ask you something. Are you feeling guilty because you couldn't help her as you are married to me or are you feeling guilty for marrying me in the first place?" She asked me and I immediately stood up from my place.
"No way. Where do you get these ideas from? How come marrying you and wanting to help her is related to each other? Guilty and regret are the last things I feel from our marriage. The reason for my guilt is, before our marriage, I made people follow her to protect her secretly. Even under that tight watch, I couldn't find out about her difficulties. So I felt guilty that if only I was a little careful, she shouldn't have to go through all this. My intention was pure, Aaru." I explained to her.
"Okay. Answer my other question. If you have a chance to get back together with her, will you do it?" She asked me with a blank face.
"To be honest, I dreamt of this scenario so many times before our marriage but after our marriage, I never think of -"
"Why? Because you are bounded to this relationship? What if I say that, I will go away from your life and will free you from obligation, will you think of getting back together with her?" She asked me while her eyes misted a little
"Because you changed my perspective towards life. I started thinking about everything in a different way. I understood the meaning of how it is to be in love with the person and how it is to be in love with being in a relationship with someone. My past relationship is a second scenario. I was in love with the concept of being with her." Instead of answering her question, I continued my previous words.
"What made you realize the difference.?" She asked but now her face wasn't blank anymore and also her eyes were shimmering with a glint.
I pursed my lips, knowing very well that she was up to something.
"Don't want to answer..right. My instincts are telling me that you remember everything from that night but you are denying it. Since, in your words, you forgot about your drunken feat that you have pulled, I will help you in reminding it. You know, you sang like a banshee and danced like a lunatic. You cried your guts out, saying that how lucky you are to marry me. You said that you will be forever grateful to me for making an appearance in your life. You praised me saying how pretty I am that my beauty even started making you insecure. What to say, I am just born in that way*sigh*. You sobbed and said that you are becoming too old as my glamour is enhancing by each passing day."
I rolled my eyes as I knew she was exaggerating everything but I couldn't refute her as in my words, I didn't remember anything about that night.
"Still not gonna agree that you remember everything?" I just huffed in response.
"Eenie meenie Minie mo......"
"Rang the bell?" She asked and my expression changed a little when I recalled that it seems like I did do something like that. Where did I even get that song into my head?
"Still not going to agree. Looks like I have to use my last retort." Saying this she stood up from the bed and did something on her phone. Soon the whole room started vibrating with my screechy singing, making me jump up to her to snatch that phone.
"What a sneaky girl. Even in that situation also, she didn't forget to utilize the opportunity." I thought and started chasing her as she started running around the room.
"Delete that audio clip, Aarna," I asked her in a threatening tone.
"No way in the hell," she said while giggling like a little girl. After running around for a while, I managed to catch her and I immediately back hugged her as she was still laughing to herself while imitating my singing. I too started laughing wholeheartedly as I drew her more into my embrace.
Though I am the one at the receiving end, I am glad that things between us finally started becoming normal.
Hope you guys liked this chapter.
Since this is the last day of this year, I am so excited to welcome a new year. Seriously, this whole year will forever be an incredible one in my life. This year taught me a lot of things, gave me a lot of lessons and experiences, helped me in finding my passion, gifted me with lots of good friends. This year might not be the best one but it did help us in becoming a better version of ourselves. So I am really grateful for all the little things and happiness this year had offered to me.
So let's end this year on a happy note and wait for the upcoming year with lots of hopes and dreams.
Also, thanks to every reader of mine for being a part of my writing journey. You guys are the best and you made this journey so memorable to me. I sincerely appreciate your immense support and love that you guys have been showing and showering on my works.
Wishing you all, the best year ahead and a very happy new year🖤
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See you all on the next update and once again wishing you all a very happy new year🖤