[1x02 the first cut is the deepest - part 1]
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
"I don't live in the best apartment building, so if you picked me as a roommate that would make my life easier."
"My mom irons my scrub. I have to get out of there."
"At least you didn't have a crackhead sitting on your car this morning!"
"I can cook and I'm an obsessive cleaner."
"Okay. That settles it. Izzie and I will move in with you."
Meredith looked between her fellow interns and shook her head. "No. I just want two total strangers who I don't have to talk to, or be nice to."
Mackenzie sighed and continued to drink her coffee. It was another early morning with driving Alex to work. He lived a couple of streets down from her so it wasn't a terrible detour, but she was scared she was getting too close to him again. She found herself enjoying his company at times, their car rides consisting of singing and talking. They didn't dare mention what had happened between them a couple of months ago because when it would be, their little bubble they were in would burst.
Bailey came out from the office and all of them headed over there quickly, Mackenzie clearing Alex from her thoughts. "George, you're running the code team. Meredith take the trauma pager. Cristina, deliver the weekend labs to the patients. Izzie you're on sutures. Mackenzie, Dr.Shepherd wants you today.
Bailey went to go up the stairs, but Meredith stopped her. "Dr.Bailey, I was hoping to assist you in the O.R today, maybe do a minor procedure. I think I'm ready. Mocha latte?"
Cristina was the first to come up. "If she gets to cut, I want to cut, too."
Izzie nodded. "Yeah, me too."
"I already scrubbed in with Dr.Shepherd," pointed out Mackenzie.
George shrugged. "I wouldn't mind another shot."
"Stop talking," states Bailey. "Every interns wants to perform their first surgery. That's not your job. Do you know what your job is? To make your resident happy. Do I look happy? No. Why? Because my interns are whiny. You know what will make me look happy? Having a code team staffed, having the trauma pages answered, having the weekend labs delivered, making the attendees happy, and someone down in the pit doing sutures." She took the latte. "No one holds a scalpel till I'm so happy, I'm Mary freakin' Poppins."
"Mocha latte my ass," mumbled Cristina.
"Why are y'all standing there? Go!"
After checking with a nurse where Derek was, she headed up to the third floor. He was on his way to an O.R when Mackenzie ran into him.
"What do you need me for?" asked Mackenzie. She still wasn't over him not giving her the surgery for the aneurysm she found.
"I need you to run labs, discharge, and prep a couple of my patients for surgery later," instructed Derek, not paying her much attention as he tied his scrub cap. "I have a rape victim coming into O.R 2 so I'll be busy for a bit."
Mackenzie crossed her arms. "So I'm just your maid now?"
Derek chuckled. "You're an intern. It's what you are."
Mackenzie rolled her eyes as Derek rushed into the O.R. She wished she would be able to look in on the surgery, but no she was being tasked with a million things today. She went to the neuro wing of the hospital and got the discharge papers for the patients that were waiting to go home. After that was finished, she went to the elevator to go get the labs for patients that were scheduled for surgery later.
"Mackenzie!" exclaimed Bailey as the elevator doors opened. "I've been looking all over this damn hospital for you. Listen, I got a new intern and I want him to shadow you since you're doing the most."
Mackenzie's heart thudded in her chest when Alex pushed himself off the elevator wall and into view. He stuck out his hand. "Alex Karev. Nice to meet you."
She rolled her eyes, shaking his hand. "Mackenzie Sloan."
"Great, now both of you behave," Bailey eyed them, mainly Alex, as she went back into the elevator.
"So what are we doing today, Dr.Sloan?" asked Alex as he followed Mackenzie to another elevator.
"A bunch of work that Dr.Shepherd doesn't feel like doing," said Mackenzie.
Alex noticed the annoyance in her voice as they both went into the elevator. "Is he giving you a hard time?"
"It's complicated," sighed Mackenzie.
She wanted to vent about her family and friend drama to Alex like she used to, but that would only bring them closer again and she needed a good distance from him. She thought working in a huge hospital would let her avoid him as much as she could, but with driving him to and from work and now this, her hatred from him was slowly, but surely diminishing.
The elevator seemed to be taking longer than usual as she stared at the floor numbers above the door. She could sense Alex standing right behind her, his breath fanning parts of her hair that had fallen out of her braid. His fingers barely touched her's, but it felt like an electric shock went up her spine. Being alone and this close to him made too many memories rush through her head.
You're the guy I want to be with forever.
I'm sorry Kenzie, but that's not me. I - I can't do this anymore.
Any positive thoughts about Alex were pushed away as she remembered that night again. She took a deep breath and stepped forward, the elevator finally on the designated floor. "Come on. Shepherd has a surgery in two hours and we need to get this done before then."
Alex seemed a bit taken back by her sudden change of mood, he thought they were having some kind of moment in the elevator. He watched as she walked to the desk and turned in the labs, her body a bit more rigid than it has been in a couple of days.
"I need them asap," instructed Mackenzie.
The guy working at the counter eyed her annoyingly. "Aren't you an intern?"
"Aren't you a jackass?" Alex came up to the counter as well and stared at the guy. "Dr.Shepherd needs the labs back before his next surgery so yes, hurry up."
The guy rolled his eyes and took the papers, going into the back room and turning everything in.
Mackenzie didn't look at Alex as she said, "I don't need you to help me. You're supposed to just be a shadow."
"He was being a dick," said Alex. "You don't deserve to be treated like that."
Mackenzie clenched her fist that was resting on the counter. "You're the one talking."
"What's that supposed to mean?" scoffed Alex.
Mackenzie felt like a needle had popped their bubble they were living in. Her cheeks felt red hot as she turned towards Alex. "I know we've been slowly getting along, but we still haven't had the talk about that night. You never gave me an explanation and I was alone trying to figure out why such a good relationship was thrown away all of a sudden. I'm trying to be civil with you, to feel truly happy with someone who meant so much to me, but every time I look at you I'm reminded of how much you've hurt me. I want to forgive you Alex, because hell, there's a part of me that still loves you."
Alex stared at her, processing everything she had said. He didn't expect for the conversation to happen while getting labs for Dr.Shepherd. He envisioned it being in a bar or at her apartment. "Kenzie, I...I'm sorry."
"You've said that already," mumbled Mackenzie.
Alex moved in closer, not wanting the wandering nurses and doctors to listen in. "I don't know what you want me to do. I've apologized, I'm trying to build a friendship with you, what else do you want me to do?"
"Prove that you've changed," she whispered, but her tone was firm.
Alex look at her astounded. "I could've forgotten about you and gone to any internship program in the country, but no. I applied here, in Seattle, across the freakin' country, because I wanted to try and fix things. Plus, this was a great program that I was surprised I got into, but that's besides the point. My point is what else am I going to prove? You want flowers? A box of chocolates? Well, screw that because you know that's not who I am."
Mackenzie wanted to fire back, to tell him he could show his feelings to her, but the guy came back with a stack up papers. "Here are the labs."
She took the papers and walked away.
Her and Alex didn't talk for most of the day. She was too annoyed to try and continue any form of conversation with him. She sorted the lab results into the right patient folders, giving barely any to Alex as she wanted to get everything done herself. Finally, after labs and prepping the first patient for Derek's upcoming surgery, her and Alex walked to the nurse's station where some of her friends were milling around.
She walked up to Cristina. "Please take Alex away from me."
Cristina looked over Mackenzie's shoulder at Alex. "Are you bothering her?"
Alex scoffed. "No. She's being emotional."
Cristina smirked. "Oh, you're going to have fun with me."
Mackenzie silently thanked her and sat down on the desk next to George. She noticed a 'hazardous' cooler on the desk. "What's in there?"
George shook his head. "You don't wanna know."
"It's a severed penis," said Meredith. "The rape victim that got operated on bit her abuser's penis off."
"And you have to carry that around all day," asked Mackenzie.
Meredith nodded.
"Sounds like a lovely day."
Cristina walked over to the cooler and peered inside. "Talk about taking a bite out of crime." She pushed a huge folder in Alex's chest. "Come on moody, we have more labs to deliver."
Alex glanced at Mackenzie one more time before going off with Cristina. She let out a sigh, louder than she intended, and Meredith looked at her suspiciously.
"You okay?" asked Meredith.
"Boy problems," said Mackenzie.
Meredith chuckled. "Tell me about it."
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.