I stayed in my bed all day with the covers draped over my head. The blanket was something safe; something that made me feel like I was protected and no one could get to me ever again.
The darkness of my room made me feel sheltered, but the terror and shock never left. It stayed inside of me, building up every moment, and it left me paralyzed. It shut my voice off. I wanted to hide some place where I would be safe forever.
Somewhere dark and lonely because I was beginning to realize that anyone could hurt you.
I was better off alone.
I had to eventually go back to school. A total of seven people asked me if I was alright. I wasn't, but I didn't tell them that. Mia and Sebastian didn't believe me, and I had to look away every time I met their concerned eyes. One teacher pulled me aside too.
That night and every night after, Caleb and Kaiden never left my side. Ethan had grown distant again, but I caught him lingering sometimes when I was alone.
On Tuesday and Wednesday, I felt like a ghost at school. I did everything possible to make myself invisible, and it worked. I was thankful that at least something went my way when I felt like everything else was slipping out of my hands.
The nightmares changed every night.
On Thursday, there was a knock at my door and Elijah called out for me.
I cowered in the silence of my room. I didn't want to talk to him. I didn't want to talk to anyone.
Pathetic. I felt so pathetic.
I felt like a coward. Was I one? What was I supposed to do now? I didn't have anywhere else to go.
Was I supposed to ignore what I'd seen and continue on living? Was I supposed to pretend that everything was okay?
He eventually walked away without much effort.
Other days, I began to wonder if I deserved it.
The thought crept into the back of my mind at times when it was too quiet. It never truly left.
I shouldn't have been looking through his stuff. He'd made that clear to all of us since the start. So, maybe I did deserve it. Why did I have to go looking around places I knew I shouldn't have been in?
I just didn't know. I didn't know anything anymore.
I still wondered if I'd imagined what happened. I wondered if I'd wake up from this nightmare that made me realize how you don't really know anyone around you. Even if you spend your entire life with them. Even if they took care of you for years, and you trusted them with your life.
Even if they were supposed to be the ones to protect you from the exact same people who could hurt you like they did.
On Saturday, I broke down in the silence of my room, and fell asleep praying that there was a way for my mom to come back, so she could hold me like she always would and tell me that everything was going to be okay.
Mom would never let this happen. My dad would have killed him with his bare hands if he were here. Sophia would help him.
It was strange how everything you knew about a person who meant so much to you could fall apart in a matter of seconds.
How sometimes, it was the people you loved the most in the world who hurt you.
I just hated myself for never realizing it before.
***
It was Saturday morning when someone knocked at my bedroom door.
"Izzy?" A soft voice called out. "Can I come in?"
I peeled open my eyes slowly, blinking as I adjusted to the light. Before I could say anything, the door opened and revealed Amina.
"Caleb let me in," Amina explained, offering me a small smile. "He's downstairs, no one else seems to be home."
"Oh."
She studied my face for a few seconds and I had to look away from the sympathy in her eyes. I figured it was obvious I wasn't doing well.
"How are you?" She asked.
"I'm okay."
Amina moved and took a seat on the edge of my bed. I felt her rest her hand on my arm and squeeze gently.
"Are you really?" She said quietly.
I didn't respond.
It was quiet, but it was comfortable. Amina's presence made me feel safe. I felt like I had someone to go to when I spent so long alone.
"Did Elijah do something?"
I didn't react.
I didn't know how she knew that and I didn't want to find out. It made me wonder if everyone knew who he was except me.
She brushed some hair out of my face and spoke again.
"If you're wondering how I know, it's because I saw Sophia go through the same thing."
At her words, my eyes flew open and I picked my head up to look at her.
I watched her visibly swallow and for the first time, I noticed how she looked awake. She didn't look as exhausted and worn out as she had the day we were at her house.
It surprised me how quickly she seemed to get over what happened to her parents.
"It started in high school. She was okay at first, but then as months passed I'd notice little things that told me something was wrong. Sometimes, it looked like she didn't sleep all night, and other times, she was too awake. Some days she wouldn't talk at all and other days I wouldn't get a word in." She paused and her hand went to her necklace as she gathered her thoughts.
"Sometimes, she wouldn't pick up my calls for days. I'd come over, and I'd find her laying in her bed in the middle of the day. Her room would be a mess, and there'd be cups of water and plates all over as if she hadn't left it for days. It was like she couldn't get herself out of bed. I'd have to force her to take showers and eat and get herself ready because I didn't want her to come to a point where she couldn't get up at all."
My eyes filled with tears at her words as I realized what she meant. Sophia had gone through what I was going through. And I still had no idea what exactly I was going through. I had no idea what was happening to me, why I was feeling this way, and why my family was this way.
"What caused it?" I whispered.
Amina met my gaze. "Your family."
The answer would've surprised me any other time, but all I could do now was listen.
She continued. "I think you've figured out what your brothers do for a living - none of it is exactly...moral." She grabbed my hand and I squeezed. It seemed we both needed the comfort. "Sophia started becoming suspicious when she was around your age, maybe a little older. It was after Elijah got custody. She would tell me everything that she noticed. How Elijah would take Ethan and Kaiden out in the middle of the night. How they'd be gone for days, and come back home whenever they wanted. How she'd notice Elijah talking to men she didn't recognize on your driveway when he thought all of you were asleep. How she'd constantly see your brothers injured or how there would be news stories that never made any sense."
"Did she find out?" I questioned, leaning back against my headboard. Amina nodded.
"One day, she decided to follow Elijah to work. Kaiden was out of town, I think, and she got caught. She was supposed to stay out of sight, but one of his men, Roman, found her in the parking lot."
I was trembling as I asked my next question. "Then what happened?"
Amina squeezed my hand and shot me a sympathetic smile. "Did he make you watch?" She asked instead.
I nodded faintly and sat up in bed. "H-he gave the orders so easily. I had to watch someone get..."
Tortured.
She must've realized that I couldn't say it so she inched closer to me. "I know, Izzy. I know. She went through the same thing."
I bit the corner of my lip. "What did she do after?"
"She learned to live with it."
When she met my eyes again, I couldn't help it. She saw the water pooling in my eyes. Amina didn't say anything before she pulled me into her arms. I rested my head against her shoulder, squeezing my eyes shut.
Caleb had been comfort too, but I felt safer with Amina. It was just different. With her, I felt less alone. I felt like I had another sister to go to.
"I don't want to live with it," my voice broke and she tightened her embrace around me. "I don't want to stay here anymore. I can't do it."
"We don't have a choice, Izzy."
I pulled back a bit to frown at her. "You have a choice. You can leave."
She shook her head. "I don't. I didn't tell you the entire truth. I came back willingly at first because I needed to talk to you and I needed to try to get the file again, but I can't leave now."
"Why?"
"Elijah and Roman won't let me."
My lips parted in disbelief. "W-what?"
She ran a hand through her hair as she gathered her thoughts. "I know too much about their businesses and the crimes they've committed, so they won't let me leave. They're always keeping an eye on me, I know it. There's always someone stationed outside my house. I couldn't leave even if I wanted to. They do this to everyone who knows too much. They make sure they can't escape, but they also make sure they keep quiet."
I was speechless, so she continued. "Remember that day when you first ran into me? In town?" I nodded as I remembered her running off. "I ran off because I saw one of Elijah's men across the street. He always sends them after me to make sure I don't talk or ruin anything for him."
That was why she looked like she'd seen a ghost. She was being followed. She was being watched.
"What about the police?" I questioned quietly.
Amina smiled bitterly. "No point. Half of them work for Elijah, and the other half wouldn't want to intervene. And if they've ever somehow found evidence of any crimes, those people are never heard from ever again. They disappear."
The thought was so terrifying that I didn't want to think about it any longer. The fear was building a permanent home in my heart.
We truly had no way out.
I would have to live with it just like Sophia did. I didn't know if I could survive it.
"Besides, I can't leave you."
The words made me look back at her.
"What?" I croaked, my throat closing up.
"I consider you family, Izzy. I always have. We don't leave family behind," she explained and I swallowed past the lump in my throat. "Us girls have to stick together."
I didn't know what to say, so I shot forward on my knees and hugged her. "Thank you," I whispered against her shoulder and she squeezed me once in response, before I pulled back.
We were quiet for moments, but then a question came to mind. "What do you know about Roman?" I asked hesitantly and she looked up. "What did he have to do with Sophia?"
She sighed and her hand fell away. "It wasn't a relationship or anything. When she turned eighteen, she wanted to do everything possible to piss off your brothers, especially Elijah. So, she started something with Roman and it went on for a while until they got caught." She paused and shook her head, smiling gently. "Honestly, I think she wanted them to get caught just for the hell of it."
I smiled despite myself. That did sound like my sister.
"Did she actually like Roman?"
Amina frowned. "No, she hated him, but she found little ways to get back at your brothers for everything that they did that she didn't like."
"Like sleeping with Elijah's friend?"
Amina laughed. "Exactly."
I thought of the way Roman had looked at me and my smile vanished. "Is he... is he a bad person? Like did he ever..." I trailed off in fear of the answer.
She furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. "Are you asking if he ever made her do something that she didn't want to?"
I nodded.
"No. I'm not saying that any of them are good people, but no. They have their limits," Amina said quietly. "And as tough as Roman seems, if something like that did happen and Elijah or Kaiden found out..." Amina trailed off and I didn't need to hear the rest of her sentence to know what would happen to Roman.
"I heard he shot him," I said. "After he found out about Roman and Sophia."
Amina's lips tugged into an amused smile. "Yeah, it's all a little fucked up, isn't it?"
"Just a little?" I scoffed, shaking my head. "One more question; why is Roman still working for him then? Why would Elijah let him back in?"
"Because Roman will do anything without hesitation and Elijah would be a fool to risk letting someone who has no morals work for anyone else. Especially any enemies."
I swallowed hard. "Anything?"
Amina nodded grimly. "Anything. Elijah trusts Roman, Izzy, but that's not a good thing. If someone has gained your brother's trust, then I can promise you that you do not want to know what they've done to earn it."
The thought was horrifying and I'd decided that I would be avoiding Roman as much as possible.
Amina suddenly straightened and reached down into her purse. I watched as she pulled out a small, white box. She opened it and I realized it had a phone inside.
I stared at her curiously as she handed it over to me. I took it hesitantly. It seemed old, but it turned on when I tapped the screen.
"It used to be my old phone," she explained. "If you need to call me or I need to talk to you, we'll use this one. Just make sure to keep it out of sight from anyone else."
I looked up at her. "How are you? After everything? Did they find out what happened? Who...?"
Who killed them?
Amina gripped her necklace again and I saw the sadness cross her features. "There's no information yet. I'm updated everyday, but I don't know... it seems like the police aren't even trying to find out anything anymore. It's like they've given up."
"Did they find any evidence?"
"No, nothing." She shook her head and straightened. "I don't wanna talk about it. There's no use anymore. I came here to tell you that I know where we have to start."
I perked up and stared at her in shock. "For - for the case? For Sophia and the..."
Amina nodded and handed over a folded sheet of paper. I took it and read what was written. It looked like an address. I glanced back up at her curiously.
"It took me a long time to get this, but I finally managed. It's the medical examiner's address."
My eyes widened. "You mean... the one who was responsible for the file? For Sophia?"
She gave me a single nod. "If you're up for it, we can go tonight."
She phased it like a question and I contemplated it for a few moments. I needed a reason to get out of bed, and as horrible as this could turn out, it was something and it was important.
So, I finally pulled the covers off of me and Amina told me she'd be back to pick me up in a few hours.
***
A quick glance at the time told me it was almost time for her to pick me up, so I grabbed my jacket and phone.
I was about to leave my room, but then I remembered that Elijah could track my location. Deciding against it, I placed it inside one of my drawers and walked out.
"Where are you going?"
I halted from where I'd reached the front door, and turned around to see Ethan standing there, staring at me curiously.
Shit.
I needed to make up an excuse. I didn't know if he'd go straight to Elijah now that I was out of bed and leaving. None of them could know.
"I'm feeling better, so I wanted to go see Mia," I told him quietly.
"Just this morning you couldn't get out of bed," Ethan said, narrowing his eyes. "Now you're all fine?"
"Yes. Now can I go or are you gonna continue questioning me?" I asked, slightly irritated.
He studied me for a few more seconds, before he shrugged. "You can do whatever you want, I guess."
Without another word, he trailed off up the stairs and I didn't waste a second before I shut the front door behind me.
Amina had parked down the street, away from the house, and it was a short walk before I made it to her car. After scanning my surroundings once more, I slammed the passenger side door shut and buckled my seatbelt.
"You sure you're ready?" She asked as she began driving.
I didn't think it was possible for anyone to be ready for something like this, but I didn't tell her that. Instead, I settled with a, "How far away is it?"
"About an hour," Amina answered, glancing over at me. "You didn't tell anyone who you were going with, did you? Or where?"
I settled back against the seat, and shoved away my concerns. "No, Ethan thinks I'm going to Mia's."
I just had to hope that he believed me enough to let it go. Even if I felt like he didn't.
***
The house sat alone at the end of a street. It was surrounded by miles of trees and empty fields, and there were barely any cars visible on the way there.
My stomach twisted from the anxiety and dread as Amina pulled to a stop in front of the small, gray house. There was one car parked in the driveway and it seemed old.
I shivered involuntarily as we stepped out of the car. The silence around us was overwhelming; there were no other signs of life. The only sound that was audible was of the winds as they whistled through the night, and I wrapped my jacket tighter around myself.
Amina shot me a weak smile and walked over to my side, so we were right next to each other as we treaded up to the house.
There was one light on, but the rest of the windows were dark with curtains covering them. I took a step closer to Amina.
I would be lying if I said I wasn't scared. I was absolutely terrified and the location didn't help one bit.
Amina held the file in her hand as we trailed up the front porch steps, and I caught sight of the doorbell. I reached out to ring it once.
When the wait became too long, I almost caved to my fear. I was so close to telling Amina that this was a bad idea and we should leave, but we both paused when we heard soft footsteps.
Not even a second later, the door opened and revealed a young woman, who looked like she was in her twenties.
She had blonde hair which rested around her shoulders and brown eyes which glanced between the two of us in confusion. "Can I help you?" She asked quietly.
She looked too young to be the person we were looking for.
Luckily for me, Amina reached a hand out and spoke. "I'm Amina. This is Bella. Are you Natalia Carson?"
I forced a smile on my face as the woman looked between the two of us warily. I didn't know why Amina hadn't told her my real name, but I didn't question it at that moment.
"Why do you ask?" The lady questioned, still keeping the door mostly closed behind her.
Amina kept the polite smile on her face as she spoke. To my surprise, she didn't lie like I thought she would. She told the truth flat out. "She performed an autopsy on someone we knew a few years ago. A friend of mine. We have a few questions for her."
The woman's eyes widened and she glanced at me again. I watched her eyes travel down to the file in Amina's hands before she met her gaze.
I thought that this was it, and we'd have to turn back around, but the woman opened the door all the way and took a step to the side to let us through.
Amina didn't waste a second. She grabbed my arm and pulled me along as we stepped inside. The lady closed the door behind her and followed us in.
"This way," she said quietly and we trailed after her through the small hallway. We eventually reached a room with two couches, a coffee table and a TV on top of the fireplace. I noticed a few picture frames on the walls, but I didn't look too long as the woman gestured for us to take a seat on the couch across from her.
She spoke not even a second later. "Who's the patient on file?"
"Sophia Kingston."
I waited for a reaction, for anything, but she remained unfazed. I noticed her playing with the ring on her right hand as she continued. "Ivan's daughter, is that correct? Elijah Kingston's younger sister?"
"Yes, do you know him?"
The lady smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. "Everyone knows him."
"How?" I couldn't help but ask and it was the first time I'd spoken. Her eyes trailed over to me.
"How could I not? Everyone knows what he does; what he and his friends do. There's few people I've ever known of who can get away with the crimes they commit. With the amount of control they have - it's impossible not to."
Once again, the realization that everyone knew except me sunk in, and it hit just as hard as it did the last time.
Amina interrupted. "Are you Natalia? Were you the medical examiner for her case?"
The woman smiled and shook her head. "No, I'm her daughter."
I blinked at her in surprise. A glance at Amina told me she was feeling the same and she frowned. "Oh, is she around by chance?"
"No, she's dead."
My jaw dropped at her words; at the casual way she said them. Amina did a double take and stared back at her in silence.
Before we could say anything in response, the woman continued, her eyes centered on her ring.
"Elijah Kingston had my mother killed three years ago."
Her eyes snapped up to me at the sharp breath I sucked in. I could feel the blood drain from my face as I stared back at her in shock. From the corner of my eye, I saw Amina's face fall in disappointment.
"W-what?" I breathed.
The woman didn't react to my shock and I realized she didn't know who I was. "I'm Maya," she continued instead. "You can ask me anything and I'll try to help as best as I can."
I couldn't get any words out. I didn't think I'd be able to so I was glad that Amina was there to talk. "Here," she said, reaching over the coffee table to hand the file over. "I have some questions about this."
Maya grabbed the file and looked through it. She scanned the pages quickly, and I watched her pause at a few of them. After she was done, she reached over and handed the file to Amina.
"Ask away."
"It's about one part specifically. The last page says that the cause of death was undetermined, what exactly does that mean? Especially if it was a car crash?"
Maya furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. "Car crash? Tell me you didn't actually believe whoever told you that?"
My stomach knotted at the truth. This confirmed it; it never had been a car crash. Every word she said twisted the knife deeper and I could feel my throat closing up.
"It wasn't a car crash?" Amina pressed, but I knew she was just asking for more confirmation to what she already knew.
"Of course not. Did you ever see anything on the news about a car crash? About a drunk driver? Did you see the so-called crash with your own eyes? Or did you just believe what everyone else told you?"
My hands clenched into fists and I dug my nails into the skin. Amina spoke up again. "So what was it then? How did she end up in the hospital?"
Maya cocked an eyebrow and leaned back in her seat. "You saw the file, did you not? That poor girl was killed."
I didn't know how much more I could take, but I stayed quiet. I felt my nails pierce through my skin, yet I didn't stop. The casual way she said everything didn't help and I felt sick to my stomach.
"How did she end up in the hospital? And what about that car crash?"
Maya sighed and ran a hand through her hair, letting it twirl around her finger as she spoke. "The car crash was obviously staged. I'm not sure of the exact details, but after studying this for years, I've figured out a few things. After she was killed, she was brought to the scene of that crash because it was the easy way out. From there, the ambulances arrived at the sight of the accident to bring her back to the hospital." Maya paused and leaned forward. "It was all a set up. No one suspected that she wasn't a part of that crash besides my mother. She was the only one who realized that she hadn't been a part of it. Her body was placed there."
Amina sucked in a shaky breath. "But, what about - what about the part that said the case was closed due to the family's wishes? I don't - we don't get that part."
Maya frowned. "That's the part I never understood either. I gave up on trying. I knew that my mother told Sophia's family about her suspicions, but I don't know why they wouldn't have it looked into any further. I think Elijah tried to find out who was responsible, but he must've given up and that's why he had it sealed. I don't really know, to be honest."
"Do you know how?" Amina asked, and I noticed her voice was starting to tremble.
She'd tried acting unfazed, but I could tell it was getting harder with every sentence.
This was the question I had to brace myself for the most. I had a feeling it was the same for her.
"How was she killed?" Maya clarified our question. Amina nodded meekly and she continued. "It was multiple things actually, I think. And there were several signs of struggle, which means means that she fought like hell."
Maya's eyes traveled down to her ring and she slipped it off her finger, letting it rest in the palm of her hand as she gazed down at it.
"First, she was drugged. Which may have resulted in an overdose. My mother never had enough time to figure that part out. And then, Sophia was stabbed."
***
A/n: if some of the answers seem too easy right now...
Then there's probably more to it ;)
Also, happy New Year everyone, take care!