Word Count- 3,582
Summary- Kai Parker is your best friend, and you can't deny your feelings for him any longer, so you tell him how you feel, but he rejects you. You try to talk to him, but he ignores you and ends up leaving for months upon end, leaving you wondering what you did that was so terrible that you drove him out of town. One day, Stefan, your best friend, calls you and tells you that Kai is at the Mystic Grill. You quickly speed to The Grill to confront Kai, but it doesn't go the way you planned it to.
You sat on the couch with your best friend, Kai Parker, watching a movie and laughing. You loved Kai, and he loved you. You were the only person who gave him a chance and saw that he did have good in him and that he was redeemable. In fact, you were the one who saved his life at the wedding, seconds before Damon who have killed him. You liked Kai more than a friend, and you wanted to tell him so badly for so long, and tonight you were finally shooting your shot. You were almost positive that Kai felt the same for you. The way he would cuddle you or casually throw his arm over your shoulder or even when he would kiss you on the cheek goodbye. Right now, you sat on the couch, cuddled into his chest while his arm was slung around you, mindlessly rubbing circles into your shoulder, wearing a white cropped tank top and Christmas booty shorts.
You sat up and turned cross-legged to face him. He looked at you with his eyebrows raised, ready for whatever you were about to say. Without thinking, his eyes scanned your body, licking his lip as he did so, causing you to blush.
"So, Kai, I wanted to talk to you about something that I've been thinking about for a while now," You said, nervously tucking your hair behind your ear.
"A/N," He placed a hand on your knee, sending sparks through your body. "You can tell me anything. You're my best friend," He finished with a smile.
"Okay," You nodded. "Okay, so I- jeez this is embarrassing. I um-" You nervously laughed. Kai looked slightly worried but gave you a reassuring smile, giving you the confidence that you needed. "Kai, I like you... as more than a friend. You're just- You're always there for me, and I can depend on you like I can't with anyone else. You are one of the sweetest people I know, and I think I would literally deteriorate without you," You laughed, refusing to meet his eyes. "What I'm trying to say is, I really, really like you, and I think we could-"
"A/N," He said softly. You looked up, meeting his blue-grey eyes. They were filled with a hint of joy, but that joy was covered by what looked like anger, confusion, and sympathy. "You... like me?" He asked in a mocking tone. You furrowed your eyebrows and cocked your head. You say the way his face changed from hurt to mischief.
"Is that so hard to believe?" You asked.
"No, it isn't," He said cockily.
"Well, um, do you- do you like-"
"Do I like you?" He finished your question. You nodded your head. He sucked in a deep breath, "N-no, I don't. I'm, uh, I'm actually talking to this girl." You could feel your heart shattering all at once. Your head started pounding from the emotional state you were in. Your mouth formed an 'o' and you nodded your head, plastering a fake smile on your face as tears started to well up in your eyes. You could see how much he was struggling with what he was about to say next. He looked around the room frantically, "Yeah, um, her name's..." He searched the room, "Fluorescent. Yeah, Fluorescent. She's beautiful and, uh, kind and great in bed," He laughed evilly.
You just looked at him like he was a totally different person. You had just professed your sacred feelings for him, and here he was, rubbing his new relationship in your face.
"Well, um, sh-she sounds lovely," You said frantically. You stood from your spot on the couch and fake-yawned. "I'm really tired, so I think we sh-should call it a night," You told him as a tear dropping from your eye. He nodded and slowly walked to your door. You walked behind him, trying to get yourself together. He opened your door and turned around to say goodbye. You could see a flash of pain and regret wash over his features when he looked at your broken expression, but it was gone as fast as it came. "Well, bye Kai," You said and leaned in for a hug, but he didn't return it.
"Bye A/N," He sighed and walked down the steps of your front porch. You quickly shut the door, locked it, and dropped on your knees in front of it. You couldn't hold it together anymore. The amount of pain he had just caused you was almost unbearable. You hugged your stomach, hoping you would calm down, but nothing was helping. After a few minutes, you managed to make it upstairs and to your bedroom. You pulled the devout back and sunk into your comforter, crying your eyes out. After about an hour of non-stop crying, your body couldn't take anymore, and you fell asleep.
Little did you know, Kai hadn't left. He had leaned up against your door the second you had closed it to listen in on what was going on inside. His heart felt like it was being physically ripped out of his chest hearing you cry, and most of all, because he knew he was the one that inflicted this much pain on you. He listened to you crying in your bedroom until he heard everything stop all of a sudden. He started getting himself worked up that maybe you had done something to yourself or accidentally hurt yourself. His body was literally pulling him to open the door of your bedroom. He opened your door and peered inside. He quietly closed the door and tip-toed to the opposite side of your bed that you didn't sleep on. He slowly and carefully sunk himself into the mattress, making sure he didn't wake you up. He turned on his side to face you, taking in the sight of your red, puffy eyes, but even then, you were the most beautiful thing he had ever laid eyes on. He brushed his hand against your cheek, watching a soft smile appear in the corners of your lips as you took in the warmth of his hand against your cheek. At that moment, he wished for nothing more than to be able to kiss you, so he did. He leaned in ever so slowly and placed the softest kiss on your lips. He hummed to himself. He wanted more. He wanted you, but he thought he would break you, so he decided he had to push himself away from you. He smiled, taking in your scent one last time before leaving you.
It had been three weeks since you had talked to Kai. Every time you tried he would either say he's busy, find someone else to talk to, or completely ignore you. You were in immense pain but tried not to show it. He had never hurt you like this. He literally was a different person. You had had it. You decided to not talk to him either. It was the only way to stop all the pain, you thought.
You were inside watching your favorite tv show when there was a knock on your front door. You furrowed your eyebrows before pausing your show and getting up. You wondered who was at your door at 10 o'clock in the pouring rain.
You opened the door, and your breath caught in your throat seeing Kai drenched in rain, standing on your front porch.
"Hey, uh, can I come in?" He asked with an apologetic look.
"I don't think that would be a good idea," You said, trying to stay strong.
"What, why not?" He asked, and you gave him an 'are you serious' look.
"Kai, you haven't talked to me in weeks ever since I told you I liked you, and now you just expect me to invite you into my house with open arms?" You asked, looking at him like he was crazy, which he technically was.
"Fine, then. I just wanted to inform you that I'm leaving... for good." You immediately felt your heartbreak, harder than the last time. It was one thing for Kai to not talk to you, but at least you got to see him. When you didn't answer, he gave a small nod and walked down your porch in the rain.
"Kai!" You yelled. He turned around, and you marched to him, standing a few inches away from him.
"What?" He asked.
"You- Why are you being like this?" You shouted in his face.
He looked away, "I don't know what you're talking about," He said blankly.
"Oh, don't give me that shit. You know for a fact you've been ignoring me ever since that night," You said, pushing his shoulder. He clenched his jaw and met your eyes that were red and full of tears. Immediately his expression softened. "You know how bad I'm hurting right now? Do you know the pain I'm in right now that YOU caused!? No, you don't because you will barely even look at me anymore. I thought- you were supposed to be my best friend," Your voice shook at your last sentence.
"A/N-"
"No, don't. Kai, you could've just told me that you didn't like me. Why did you have to rub it in my face that you have a girlfriend? Do I mean nothing to you?" You asked, your voice faltering. At this point, both of you were completely soaked.
"A/N, don't be stupid, you know I care about you-"
"Well, you have a funny way of showing it. Tell me, how-"
"I don't like you! You're a stupid, emotional bitch. Get over your ridiculous childhood crush and move on already." Your eyes widened, and you could tell the minute he said that, he regretted it. You slowly started back away from him, but he tried to walk towards you. "A/N I didn't mean-" You ran to your door, Kai at your tail. You slammed the door on his face and locked it. You cried out in pain. Why was he doing this to you? How the hell could he say that to you? You could hear him pounding on the door and yelling in, trying to get you to let him in. "A/N, A/N please, I didn't mean to say that. A/N, you mean everything to me, and I-"
"Kai, go away! You've done enough!" You yelled back. It fell silent and you heard him walk down the stairs, and that was the last time you saw him.
It had been four months since you've seen Kai. You were doing okay, until you were alone. He never called, texted, anything. You don't even know where he went. You were sitting on the couch, waiting for Elena to pick you up. Today you were going out for a Girls Day with Elena, Bonnie, and Caroline. You turned on your tv while waiting for her to show up. You felt confident today. You had on the cutest outfit and did your makeup and hair for the first time in awhile, even though you didn't need it.
Your attention was turned to your tv until your phone started to ring. You picked it up and saw that it was Stefan.
"Hey, Stef. What's up?" You asked. After Kai had left, Stefan had been there for you, like he hadn't.
"A/N, you need to get The Grill right now," He said frantically.
"What, why?" You asked, standing and grabbing your purse and heading for your car.
"Just please hurry," He said and hung up. You were confused but got in your car anyways and called Elena, telling her what was going on.
After your short ride, you were at The Grill, and you ran inside to see Stefan waiting for you at the door. Something felt different. You felt lighter as soon as you walked in the room.
"Stefan, what's wrong?" You asked while panting.
"A/N, he's here," He said.
You furrowed your eyebrows, "Wh-" and then it clicked. Your eyes flickered to the bar where you saw Kai, downing a beer. "Oh my God," You muttered.
"I- I know this is hard on you, but when I tried to talk to him he kept talking about how he hated himself for hurting 'her', and how he missed 'her', and I couldn't think of anyone else he would be talking about but you. I just had to tell you because we know his past, and when he gets upset, things get bad." You took in a shaky breath and nodded. "I'll stay back here if you need me." You hugged Stefan and slowly started walking to the bar.
You stood behind him, trying to get the confidence to talk to him. "K-Kai," You mumbled. You saw his eyes grows wide, but he didn't look at you. You noticed the slight scruff that he had grown, and boy did it suit him.
"You, um, you look really good," You said smiling, hoping to grab his attention, but he stared off in a different direction with a blank expression on his face. "Kai?" You asked. Tears started welling up in your eyes. "I knew I shouldn't of came," You said and started walking off. You felt a hand wrap around your wrist, and in the next second, you were smacked against someone's chest. Kai's chest. You struggled in his grip. "Let me go!" You said as tears started pouring from your cheeks. You refused to meet his eyes because it would just make it 10x worse. Kai noticed people starting to stare.
"A/N," He said, and you stopped. You hadn't heard him speak in so long, and it sounded like heaven against your ears.
You cried, "Please, just let me go. I- I can't do this," You sobbed.
"Please, can we just go somewhere and talk?" He asked, and you could hear the pain in his voice, but you wondered what he had to be hurt about.
"Kai, I can't, I c-can't go through that again," You complained.
He lifted your chin, and as soon as your eyes met his, it was over. "Please," He pleaded. You dropped your gaze and just nodded your head. He tried to take your hand, but you jerked it away. You walked towards the front of the restaurant, giving Stefan a sad smile and walking out.
You could feel Kai's gaze on you as you walked to your car.
"I think I should drive," He said as you got out your keys. You weren't even going to fight. You blankly through him the keys and headed to the passenger side.
The car ride home was filled with an uncomfortable silence. Each time Kai would try to talk to you, you would either shut him down or completely ignore him. When you finally got home, you stepped out of the car and walked to your porch. Memories of the last time you saw Kai flooded your memory, and you could tell he was thinking about the same thing. You put your key in the door and stepped inside. You paused for a moment, really thinking about if you were going to let him back into your life, but you didn't have the strength even if you tried hard enough. You moved to the side, not making eye contact as he came into your home. You shut the door and turned around, pressing your back against it while refusing to meet Kai's eyes.
"A/N, at least look at me," Kai pleaded.
You shook your head, tears started to flow out of your eyes again, "I- I can't."
"Why not?" He asked, stepping closer.
You met his eyes, "Because when I look at you, I feel like I want to kill myself. All the memories flood back into my head. All of the good times we had, and then that night, when you completely rejected me. And if that wasn't enough, you ignored me for the next few weeks, and the night you show up to tell me you're leaving, you completely humiliate me and call me a bitch." You took a deep breath. You felt better, you had finally gotten it off your chest, but you still felt rage.
He looked at you with guilt in his eyes and took a step closer to you, "A/N I'm sorry let me-"
"Stop! Just st-op," You cried. He pulled you into an embrace, and you wrapped your arms around him, feeling at peace, but the anger quickly shot back up. You hit him over and over again on his chest, but him being heretic made him feeling nothing at all... physically. Mentally and emotionally, he was a wreck. This was the exact opposite of what he wanted to do. He never wanted to hurt you. "You. Can't. Fix. This. With. An. I'm. Sorry!" Each word was followed with another hit to his chest, but he just took it, until you fell into his arms again. He held you, and you both sunk to the ground, you sitting sideways in his lap while he rocked both of you back and forth. "W-Why, why did you-" you couldn't even finish your sentence when you broke out into tears.
"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry," He kept whispering against your head. Once you had calmed down some, he lifted your head and cupped your cheeks while you both stared into each other's eyes. "I need to explain. P-Please let me explain because I- I can't live without you anymore. I- I can't live knowing you hate me, just let me explain, please," He begged. You nodded your head, and he kept his hands on your cheeks. "You remember that night I snuck into your bedroom while you were reading 'The Notebook'?" He asked, and you nodded your head as a faint smile appeared in the corner of your lips, making him feel more at ease. "You remember when I laid next to you on your bed and told you how stupid the book was, and then you went on a rant about how it was an epic love story and how I wouldn't know because I didn't love anyone?" You whispered a 'yes'. "You were wrong. That night was the night I realized I love you, and it scared me to death. I tried to seem as normal as possible, but I'm new to feelings, and I got scared. I tried to leave, but I couldn't, A/N, you mean too much to me." You sat there, not saying anything, just processing what he had just said. "Please say something."
You furrowed your eyebrows, "What about your g-girlfriend... Fluorescent?" You asked, and a smile spread on his face.
"I lied. That night when you told me your feelings for me, I couldn't process it. I couldn't believe that someone like you wanted someone like me. I mean, look at you. You're perfect, and I'm a lunatic and a dick." You laughed quietly when he said that. "I'm serious," He laughed. "We had just watched Twilight, and I had remembered him saying something about the florescence, so that's what I came up with," He laughed. "I didn't want you to want me, A/N. I don't deserve you, but I'm selfish and couldn't stay away."
"That makes more sense, I am pretty great," You said playfully, and Kai smiled.
"There she is!" He laughed, but your smile faded.
"Kai, do you really think I'm a bitch?"
He shook his head, "No, I just- I had to get you to let me go, and I'm so sorry that I said that, you are-" You shut him up when you pressed your lips to his in a gentle and soft kiss. He was quick to return it, and he moved his hands on your hips to help you move on top of him in a straddling position. You pulled back and smiled. "I love you," He said and kissed your cheek. "I love you, I love you, I love you!" He said as he suffocated your face, neck, and chest in kisses as you laughed.
You cupped his cheeks, "I love you, Kai Parker." He smiled, and he looked the happiest you had ever seen him. He kissed you passionately and started moving your hips so you were grinding against his growing erection. You quickly pulled away, "Ah, ah, ah, Malachai. You have to earn your way to the gold," You said and pointed to 'down there'. He laughed and shook his head.
"Then I will spend everyday making it up to you. I love you," He said and proceeded to kiss you and hold you, as you both spent every day and every night in perfect bliss together.