I kept my eye on him every now and then after serving customers. I watched him get a couple drinks from the small bar and from Maddie but hasn't gotten a drink from me - apart from the one he stole.
I could tell he was getting drunk from the way he walked. A concerned and nagging feeling made goosebumps rise on my skin.
The beat was humming so loudly in the Bar, I swayed my hips to it, trying to make myself feel better, but my eyes kept travelling to where Zac was. He was heading towards the dance floor now and I laugh when he starts dancing awkwardly. He was definitely drunk now and danced terribly, doing the robot at one point which made me laugh hard. There was a part of me that was so mad at him, but how could I be mad at him when he's doing the robot?
Last call was being announced via Maddie and there were a lot of people getting their last buzz of the night.
I toss a bottle behind my back and land it perfectly in a cup, filling it to the brim.
When I look up and try and find Zac, who was still dancing, there was a blonde woman dancing with him. She was thin and drop dead gorgeous, wearing a skimpy dress that barely covered her ass. I continued to watch them as they danced, stopping in my tracks from serving customers.
They inched closer and closer together until she was pressed against him. They rocked their hips together, swaying to the beat and she tips her head back as they sway together. They were so, so, so close together. I felt my heart skip a beat, and I felt like I was going to scream when their faces compressed together, and they were kissing.
I clenched my teeth together and felt arms holding me back as I tried to run around the Bar.
"Don't, Ali!" she shouts in my ear. She wraps her arms around me chest, holding me back.
I could feel the tears blurring my vision.
I AM SO FUCKING SICK OF CRYING.
Sick of crying about him.
Sick of crying because of him.
I have never cried this much before in my whole life. Not even when I was being abused by my father.
They continued to kiss, and kiss, and kiss, and fucking kiss on the dance floor and I felt like I wanted to puke. Especially when he took her by her hand and they left the Bar.
I ran my fingers through my hair. My breathing becoming increasingly hard. I felt like there was a weight on my chest. There was no air in my lungs, only bricks.
Why was everything so complicated?
"Don't think of him, Ali," Maddie says in my ear. She still held me tight.
"This is a bar, not an orgy!" a customer scream.
"One fucking minute, you bastard," Maddie responds, and I laugh a very sad laugh.
He squeezes me and tell me that I should take out my anger in my work, so for the rest of the night, I'm sure I treated customers like shit, but I didn't care.
When it was time to finally close, we cleaned all of the tables and Koby was walking us out.
"Sorry to ask, but can I get a lift home?" I ask Maddie. I didn't want to impose, but it was either ask or walk home and I didn't want to walk alone right now.
"Yeah, of course," she says. "Wait at the front and I'll bring the car around, okay?" she says.
"Okay," I say, already walking towards the front. When I around the corner, I wait at the front of the door. I tighten the jacket around me, crossing my arms.
There was a man sitting next to the front door. A very familiar looking man.
"Zac?" I ask.
"Hello, Angel," he says, slurring a little.
"Oh, good God," I say, and I watch him stand.
"I hope you're not driving home," I say.
"What does it matter to you," he spits back. He was mad at me, but I was just equally mad at him. I wasn't the one hooking up with someone else. All I did was get a lift.
"Why are you here, Zac?" I say. Anger was rising within me.
"I came to drink, isn't that obvious?" he says. He leans against the wall next to the red front doors.
"What? More trouble in paradise with Sara?" I ask. I knew I was being a bitch, but I didn't give any shits.
"That's none of your fucking business!" He almost shouts. Why he was so defensive about the whole situation was a mystery to me.
"Okay, what did I do?" I ask.
"What do you mean?"
"What did I do to make you hate me so much?"
"You're annoying."
"Excuse me?" I ask. How the fuck could he say that I was annoying.
"You heard me," he says, acting like a smartalic.
"I've done nothing wrong!" I scream at him. "I'm not the one who was snogging some dumb bitch on the dance floor just now!" I continue.
"That's the thing."
"What?"
"You've done nothing wrong and it's annoying," he continues.
"Are you just drunk or did you hit your head as well? I don't understand."
"You're everywhere I turn and it's fucking annoying," he continues. He looks at me intensely.
"Do you want me to move out because I can if that's what you want?" It will be difficult to find and afford another place, and I sure as hell am not moving back in with my family, but I will if that was necessary. "Maybe I can even move back in with my family for a bit," I continue.
"Fuck no! I am not letting you move back in with that abusive asshole. You think I want you to move out? That's the furthest thing from what I want."
I didn't know what he wanted.
"Okay, you're making no sense." I close my eyes and shake my head. "What do you want, Zac?"
He looks over my face, his jaw clenching and bouncing under his skin.
"I fucking want you, Angel!" He shouts at me and his confession floors me. "I want you so bloody much, Ali, you have no idea." His hands come up in front of his almost clenched in a claw. "I want to know everything about you. What makes you tick, what makes you sad, what makes you angry, what makes you happy. I want to know everything. I want to be close to you, not just physically but emotionally too. No, actually I NEED to be close to you, and when I'm nowhere near you all I can think about is you. I wonder how you would dress for the day, how you would do your hair, if your coffee was okay in the morning... It's that fucking annoying. It is so annoying that you are so close to me all the time but never close enough. You are so God damn beautiful, and I love you!"