I got to my work a little before my shift started, thankful that I wasn't as late as I thought I was going to be.
Zari had already opened and was serving a customer when I entered.
I was still extremely angry from Zac stepping away from me, but now that I was at the work, I tried to let that anger go. I put myself completely into the work, soon forgetting my frustrated feelings towards Zac and engaging as much of myself in conversation with Zari. Owen popped by to check how the store was running and helped with putting away a stock of books that came in the morning.
He let us both go home early today, closing the shop earlier than expected to get another delivery of recent books and getting rid of the later books in the store.
As I was leaving, I yelled a goodbye to Zari just as an orange flame caught my attention at the corner of my eye.
"Alison!"
I turn my head towards the flame and see James running down the street towards me.
"Alison?"
"Hey, stranger," I say, smiling. I was glad to see him.
"Hey," he says, puffing a little bit with his arms outstretched and I hug him.
"What are you doing here?" I ask, embracing him.
"I'm here to see you," he says. I was extremely honoured.
"Oh why?" I ask.
"Well, I wanted to see if you wanted to grab a coffee or something on your lunch break. Are you still working?" He looks around at the store for some sort of sign or answer to his question.
"The boss let us off early, so I have some time before I have to get ready."
"Just my luck," he says and winks which makes me chuckle. "Let's go," he says.
I was a bit reluctant, not sure if I should go, but a part of me, that was a little frustrated with Zac wanted to get back at him. I knew that was a really bad thing to think, but it was how I felt.
"What's up?" he asks when I don't move.
I pinch my face towards him with an all-knowing look.
"You're still with Zac?" he asks, a look of disappointment shadowing over his face.
I nod my head in response with a sad smile.
"That's okay," he smiles down at me. "Look, Ali, I would just like to be your friend."
"Ew why?" I joke and chuckle.
"Cause you are a fun person and I need more fun people in my life..."
"Well, okay then," I shrug.
"Great! Let's go," he says and grabs mu hand before I can protest, and I follow him.
"What have you been getting up to?" I ask on our walk to the closest coffee shop. He kept his hand in mine, which was concerning a little, but it was just a hand... nothing wrong with that.
"Nothing much," and I look up at him.
"Just a bunch of mischief?"
"Yes, the usual," he chuckles. "What about yourself?"
"Just a lot of work," I say with a smile. We finally reach the coffee shop, keeping our conversation light.
"Jane really liked you, by the way," he says while we wait in line.
"I really liked her too," I say. She looked almost exactly like him and was so lovely and sassy when we met.
"And she's also obsessed with those books," he says, which made me laugh.
"I told her she would."
When we go to the barista, we both ordered our coffee and before he could pay, I whipped out my card faster.
"You really need to stop getting me free drinks."
"This isn't a free drink, bucko!" I say and we take a seat at a nearby table.
He laughs and says, "Oh really? How can I return the favour?"
"I don't know... get me a coffee next time."
"How about I give you a lift tomorrow?" I didn't see why not.
"I have work at the Bar tomorrow... so pick me up a little before six?"
"I can do that," he nods his head.
"Why not give me a lift today?" I ask a little confused.
"I would love to, but I do have something on later tonight," he states.
"Oh, fair enough," I laugh.
We continue to talk about everything that has happened in the past couple of weeks and I felt like a weight lifted off of my shoulders and I was happy for a bit, but Zac was almost present in my mind.
"Do you remember the address to my place?" I ask him.
"Yes, I do."
"Okay, good," I smile.
I could feel his eyes on me as I continue to drink my coffee. I look up at him and squint my eyes. "What?"
"Your hair looks really good on you," he compliments me. I look away quickly feeling a little embarrassed and feel my cheeks heat up and my hair reluctantly brushes the back of my hair down.
"Thanks," I say, a little embarrassed.
"Why did you get it cut?" he asks, and I burst out in a quick laugh.
"Oh... it's a long story," I smile, and the topic is dropped.
When we finished our coffees, James walked me back to my car and gave me a quick hug.
"See you tomorrow?" I say.
"See you then," he confirms, before I drove away.
The drive home was quick, and I noticed that none of my housemates' cars were in the space. When I went into my room, I noticed that my doona cover was gone and another blanket was there to replace, which made me smile a little, but it didn't excuse the fact that he stepped away from me when someone else was coming. It made me feel like shit. Made me feel so incredibly unwanted. Maybe he never really wanted me after all. The thought of that made my chest feel empty... painfully empty. He needs to stop hurting me, especially when I love him so much. How could I tell him that I love him when he hurts me so goddamn much?
Work at the Bar went quickly. Mainly because I felt so angry that I took it out on the bottles. I practically threw a bottle across the room when I threw it in the air too hard.
The best part about the night was that Maddie made me feel so incredibly happy when I arrived with my new hairdo and she was so overconfident about her hairdressing skills and I had to remind her about the choppy hairdo I actually received from her.
By the time work had finished and I went straight home. Zac sat there watching the TV, but I ignored him, heading straight to the bathroom to have a shower and go to bed.
I didn't want to be with someone who didn't want to be with me, especially when there were other people around. I wash my straight hair and already felt it feel shorter from the curls bouncing.
I got out of the shower and I stayed in my room, getting dressed for bed.
There was a small knock at the door.
"Come in," I say, already knowing who it is, and Zac opened the door.
"Are you okay?" he asks, and I nod my head. I begin to get my bed ready, the sheet mysteriously reappearing on my bed.
"What's wrong?" he asks again.
"Nothing," I say shaking my head.
"I washed your sheet," he states and stands there looking clueless.
"I can see... thank you." I didn't want to talk to him any longer.
"Angel... What's wrong?"
"I don't want to talk to you right now," I admit.
"Why?" he says.
"Because I don't," I continue. "Because I'm mad at you.
"Why?" he repeats.
"Because you don't want to be with me in front of anyone else," I admit again, and I push down my tears. I was getting more and more frustrated the longer he stayed in my room with me.
"But... I do," he says, struggling for some reason.
"Please go away," I say between my teeth. Anger was pulling in my chest.
"No, I want to talk."
"Well I don't because I'm so angry and I don't want to be right now!" I almost shout.
"What?"
"Just fuck off, Zac!" I shout this time. Taking deep breaths in and out. "Please," I say and lower my voice.
"Fine," he says, defeated and he leaves my room. Leaving me with my angry thoughts.