"Fuck him!" she says. She sat cross legged in front of me, two shot glasses in front of us and an almost empty bottle of vodka in between.
I filled her in on the night's events. How I stood there over my brewing tea only to have him walk past me. The most fucked up thing about it all is him looking at me. Looking directly at me, walking towards his room with a woman he was about to fuck behind him.
"I know," I say. I had a headache from all the crying, and I was is much need of sleep.
I look at her, tears weeping in my eyes yet again.
"Do you love him?" She asked. Pouring me a drink.
I don't think I've ever drunk as much as I have than in the past couple months that I have moved here.
I look at Maddie's face feeling my cheek wobble as I tried to contain my tears. I nod my head and my tears fall.
"Don't cry, Ali," Maddie says. She crawls closer towards me and wraps her arms around me tightly.
"I just feel so much," I say, burying my head in her shoulder.
"I know," she looks me up and down, holding me tightly. Her hand came to my face and she cupped my cheek giving me a kiss on the forehead.
"Men can really be such assholes," she says which makes me chuckle.
"Tell me about it," I say. I part from her and grab my glass, chugging it down.
"I saw him leave the Bar the other night..." she says.
"I told him we were nothing. So now every night since, he leaves with a brand-new girl," another tear falls, even though I had just stopped crying.
"Still an asshole move. If he actually loved you, he wouldn't do anything to hurt you like that."
"That's the thing, I don't think he does," I shrug. "I was going to tell him tonight that I loved him and that I wanted to be with him, but instead he brings yet another bitch home."
"Asshole," she whispers and leans closer towards me.
"An asshole that I fucking love," I say and my nose pinches with the tears filling my eyes.
"Aww babe," she says and hugs me tightly again. "Please stop crying, he doesn't deserve your tears."
"I'm trying not to," I chuckle.
"Are you sure?" she laughed and held me tighter while we laughed.
"Tell me how your love life is going," I say and sit back on my legs, wiping my tears from my eyes.
"For me to tell you about it, I would have to have one first."
"Well that sums it all up."
"Do you think it's because I have no tits?" she asks, peaking down into her shirt. I laughed and my almost dried hair now fell in front of my face. I knew that she would make me feel so much better, but I don't think even Zac could make the pain that I was feeling in my chest go away.
"I don't think that's it," I say through my laughter.
"Are you sure?" she says, laughing too.
"I think it may actually be your non-existent ass," I tease.
"Oh really?" she screeches and grabs the nearby pillow and throws it at me.
"Stop hurting me when I tease you," I say grabbing my own pillow to defend myself.
"Watch the vodka!" she squealed and jumped up, grabbing the vodka and holding it to her chest and jumped on the coach. She held the bottle in one hand and the pillow in the other, still swotting me with the pillow defending the vodka.
"Ow stop! Bitch!" I jumped up too now throwing the pillow away and running down the hall to the kitchen. Her apartment was connected like a circle so once I was past the kitchen I was in her bedroom and I could hear her running after me.
"Stop running, I'm not fit!" she shouted, and I fell to the floor with her falling next to me and we caught our breath. My heart was racing, and the vodka made my heart race in my ears.
"Men are trash!" she screams to the roof and I laugh.
"Men are trash," I repeat, not to her but to myself.
No matter what happens though, I knew I would always love him. I would get home, ignore him, watch him bring home yet another girl and I would do nothing but watch the person I love walk inside his bedroom knowingly about to fuck someone else.
I didn't cry right now because I knew he was fucking someone else; I was crying because I knew no matter what shit he pulled, I would always love him.
I drowned my sorrows in the rest of the bottle, both of us finishing off the rest of my bottle.
"I really do love him," I tell her, keeping my eyes on the roof and letting the tears flow.
"Jesus Christ!" she sits up in a hurry and scares me.
"What?" I shout, panicking.
"I have the best idea in the whole entire world," she squeals and claps her hands together.
"Good God," I say, sitting up. "What is the idea?"
"Hair cut!" she shouts and is smiling.
I look at her hair which is already short in an almost bob on her head.
"There's not much more to cut off," I say.
"Not me, you, ya bitch!" she says.
"I don't think so," I chuckle.
I liked my hair. Sure, it was a hell of a lot of pain, being so thick and long, but it was fine. I don't remember the last time I actually got a haircut.
"No," I repeat when her face starts looking at me in a suggestive way.
"YES," she replies.
"I'm not getting a haircut," I say again.
"I think it would be a really great idea," she says. She gets up and I'm shouting at her not to. We were very drunk, so the both of us were just a pathetic drunken mess, laughing our heads off.
I watched Maddie walk into the bathroom and bring out a pair of silver hairdressing scissors.
"Where the fuck did these come from?" I ask.
"I always cut my hair," she says and giggles. She sits down in front of me, crossing her legs.
"It will be really good for you," she says. "You also, have too much hair... look at it." She holds a long strand of my hair that was on my shoulder. It was already very fluffy from air drying.
"I have enough hair, like the right amount of hair," I tell her and chuckle but I'm seeing double now.
"Let's do it," she says smiling in front of me.
"No, no, no, no, no, no," I say repeatedly, shaking my head.
"You would look so hot," she says and with that I say...
"Okay."
She squeals and cheers in front of me waving her hands up high.
"You will look so fucking hot," She responds. She hands me another bottle and I completely finish the last finger left in the bottle.
"Okay, do it!" I shout at her as if I'm getting ready for a football game.
"Psych yourself up, sexy lady!" she says. She sits back down in front of me. She grabs a lock of hair that was sitting on my should and raises it.
"Are you ready?" she asks.
"Yes," I say and nod my head.
"Don't move, bitch," she says and laughs.
"Yeah, bitch," I reply, laughing, but keep my head still. My leg was bouncing with anticipation and I kept my eyes closed tight. I heard the sound of my hair getting cut, and I felt the hair fall on my leg.
My eyes and mouth open and I look at Maddie in front of her who was sporting a large smile from ear to ear.
"I cut your hair," she laughs.
"You cut my hair," I respond and laugh back. "Well, keep going," I say and watch her shuffle around me, snipping away and each time I kept my eyes shut, waiting for her to finish.
"Last little bit," she says, and the last bit was gone. "Done," she declared.
I instantly felt lighter. She cut it to my shoulders and once she was done, I bounded up and ran to the bathroom.
"If you've butchered my hair, I will kill you!" I shout out to her as I run to the bathroom.
I looked in the mirror, turning my head from side to side. I felt magical. I looked good. I brought my head up close to the mirror, pressing my nose against the mirror until I touched it.
With all of my hair gone, you could really focus on the features of my face.
"I look so good!" I squeal back at her.