A month later
I closed my eyes and curled up further in the bed. The lights were dimmed and I was attempting to have a nap. I hadn't slept well for the past few nights, nightmares plagued my sleep no matter how many times Rhex pulled me into his arms to quiet me.
One would have thought that falling into an exhausted and sated sleep would have kept the nightmares away but for the past week they had tormented me. I hadn't understood why but they had. I let out an exhausted sigh and buried my face further into the pillow. I had tried hard to make happy memories but I figured that everything surrounding the situation of my soul being torn from my body was catching up to me.
The past month had been wonderful for me. I had been surrounded by friends that swirled with happiness, laughter, and kindness. Ani had taken to the group of Orrian soldiers like a duck took to water. She was a favourite, rough housing and telling jokes with the best of them. It made me smile because I felt like for the first time in a very long time she felt like she belonged somewhere. With them she wasn't the odd one out, the one that was forced to the edges of the group. She was simply normal to them and I knew she loved that.
It took me a bit longer to get used to them. After so long of being scared of large Orrians, I had held back, trying to work through that fear. Rhex helped quite a bit, helping to pull me away when I would get too overwhelmed or just needed a break. None of the boys seemed to mind, always smiling at me even when I needed to retreat to gather my bearings. They never looked twice or poked fun at me needing my space. It seemed as they understood more than most why I would be timid and wary and I appreciated it.
I appreciated them all for making the past month a happy one for me. There were still those that glowered at me, muttering Orrian under their breath. I had learned even more of the language at the Learning Centre to know what they were saying more of the time. I had learned enough Orrian to carry on a small conversation and to understand a small portion of what was being talked about but I still had a ways to go.
The Learning Centre itself was even more difficult for me. I had thought that having Rhex back would ease some of the issues I had but it only seemed to highlight them. They stared at me like they hadn't before. Before it had simply been a string of words that told them I had been mated to an Orrian. Words were easy to shove away or ignore but my large Orrian husband coming to pick me up from my classes was not something they could ignore.
I had suddenly had a spotlight on me, they stared because I was different, an oddity, a freak. Kher's disgust had only grown since Rhex had returned and it had gotten to the point where even Dean Hilem had become concerned and had me permanently moved to Miss Geliensha's classes. It changed some of the core material I was taking and I had to supplement my lacking Orrian History education with books but it was safer.
To be honest I was simply happy to be away from Mr. Dahgme. He was nearly at the same level as Kher with his disgust. I hated having him pointing out humanity's flaws and calling down my relationship with Rhex as a simple mutation and something that should be reviled and squashed out. It was something I knew he was reprimanded severely for by Dean Hilem but prejudice sometimes ran deep and was hard to simply push away.
The dim lights turned up a fraction as the door creaked open. I turned my head on the pillow as Rhex moved over to the bed and crawled on it beside me. He lay down on his side before he brushed a lock of hair from my face. I closed my eyes in bliss at the contact. He had come back from training to be much more touchy and relaxed about our relationship. I appreciated it.
"Did you nap?" His accented voice made a small smile cross my face as it rolled over my skin. I wanted his fingers to follow the path his voice had. When I had said I would never get enough of him I hadn't been lying. There was nothing that I wanted more than Rhex touching me, being in my arms, or learning my body in such a way that had me uncontrollably shouting his name to the roof of our bedroom. "Liviya, as much as I like the trouble that expression on your face is painting, I need you to answer me." His words made me blush, despite the grin he had on his own face as one large hand covered my waist, his thumb brushing tantalizingly close to the bottom of my breast.
"No nap." I hadn't been able to and I couldn't place why. I should have been able to sleep, I was exhausted enough but I simply couldn't. Perhaps my brain was simply too busy at the moment.
"Are you feeling better?" His voice was low and I shrugged. I didn't think I did but lying in the dark had helped the ache in my head that I got from being overtired.
"Still tired but my head hurts less." As long as that faint throbbing pain was kept to a minimum I could deal with it.
"That is good. Do you want me to lay with you?" He asked the question rather hesitantly and I nodded wiggling closer to him. He chuckled before wrapping his arm around me and holding me close. I liked being close to him, relaxing with him. I was close enough I could feel the heat of his body and almost hear his heartbeat. Being in his arms made me feel that much more protected from the world I now lived in.
I relaxed even further as his fingers drew trailing patterns on my back, his touch burning through my shirt to sear my skin. I shivered under the feeling It gave me. He was an addiction I knew I would never be able to kick, even if I wanted to, which I absolutely did not. I was more than content to crave him and his proximity as if it were imperative to my very survival. I had known at the beginning that our bond did not mean love but I knew now that I loved Rhex more than anything.
I had fallen in love with him over phone calls and letters. I had fallen in love with him at every declaration of how much he missed me and every time he calmly told me that it was okay because he had only so many weeks to see me again. After he got back that love had grown.
It had grown with every touch, kiss, and embrace. It was in him stuttering over an unfamiliar English word as he practised the unfamiliar language he had learned for me. It had grown when he would awkwardly hug my mother back, when he would shake my father's hand. The growth was there when he would grin at me at the oddest times, when he would tuck some hair behind my ear and pull me close simply because he wanted to.
The Rhex that had left for training and the one I got back were so different it was nearly startling to me. The Rhex I had before had a tendency to lean away, to curl his hands into fists and pull them behind his back. That Rhex had expressed confusion about my want to touch, about his own want to touch. He was a man who told me that affection wasn't the Orrian way. The Rhex I had now was so vastly different. He reached out for me, gravitated to me like I did to him. He embraced me, revelled in affection and seemed happy about it.
"What did you do in training?" There had to have been something there that had taught him that contact was normal and acceptable. There was only so much that longing could do to change a person's perception of the world.
He made a faint noise in his throat as he slid his hand down my side. "Standard Army training. Gun handling, new tech training, explosiv-"
I tilted my head on the pillow to look at him. "Not that. You never did this before you left. You didn't like touching me before." He hadn't shied away from it. He had attempted before he had left but before that he had avoided touching me and when he did touch me he had seemed upset at it.
He met my gaze with his own and moved closer. "I loved touching you before, Liviya. Please do not take my retreating as me not liking the contact." His fingers had a bit more pressure, massaging my muscles instead of teasing my skin. "I grew up in a home where affection was absent. I was not used to contact because I had been conditioned into believing that such things were unnecessary and unnatural. My parents exhibited that behaviour, my classmate's parents, my instructors, and even the Council members I lived under. I was taught from a young age that the absence of affection and contact was normal." He moved his head closer once more, kissing my forehead gently.
"The first memories of affection I ever had were from my grandfather and his soulmate. They patted heads, gave kisses to cheeks, and quick hugs but their behaviour was treated as if it was abnormal. They never truly mated, never exchanged medallions. They were content with each other and I believe love was there but they weren't like us or the others that bond." He let out a heavy sigh. "My grandparents decided to forgo tradition so the affection I was shown by them was labelled as unnatural. Hence my aversion to contact when I met you. I wanted to touch you, I ached for it but in my head I had hundreds of memories telling me that touching, that craving that contact was wrong." He had explained it to me before but not quite as in depth with his memories and his childhood social conditioning.
"Instinct against mind, like you told me before." I watched as he nodded before he rubbed my back in swirling motions, making my eyes go half-lidded.
"Exactly." He kissed my forehead again, letting his lips linger on my skin, causing me to shiver with faint pleasure. "When I transferred to my new battalion, I was surprised to see their camaraderie, their easiness with each other. With my old battalion it was all formation, structure and specific space. We never joked or laughed or even conversed about anything outside of our training or mission plans. It was a cold and sterile environment, just like how I had grown up." He pulled back slightly before rubbing his nose against my own.
"They were odd and strange and against everything I had been taught as I had grown up. I had not been given a chance to say no as they dragged me into everything they did. They told me that I was part of their family." His mouth had a softer edge to it and I could see he clearly cared about his new battalion. "The humans were just as much as family to them as an Orrian was. Species didn't matter, gender didn't matter to them. In my old battalion we were a unit, a formation, a number. With them I was Rexy, I was a part of something more. I was recognized, teased, and a member of a large family and when they found out about you... I was celebrated."
He swallowed before his light green eyes met my mine. "My pairing to you was a source of great joy for every single one of them. I have never seen more happiness in anyone when confronted about our pairing than with them." He chuckled, the sound rolling over me and I couldn't help but smile at it. "They demanded to know everything about you. They demanded I tell them what your laugh sounded like, what shade your eyes shined when you smiled. They spent weeks making me remember every facet of who you are. They forced me to think about you when there were moments when I felt like being without you made it so hard to breathe." They had my everlasting gratitude for helping him through our separation. I had known they had helped but to hear Rhex speak of it was just reinforcing it.
"It was Bruce who taught me that touching you was not something I had to shy away from. When I had explained it to him, explained to him that I felt such a barrier between us, he had asked me what I would do if I was on a road driving to a new post when my vehicle hit an odd bump in the road near a known Kengan junction." He let out a heavy sigh and I reached out, touching his chest, feeling his heart pounding beneath my fingertips. "I told him I would order a full retreat and bail on my rig because that bump was more than likely an IED. Bruce had stared at me before asking me how I knew that." Rhex grasped my hand in his own, linking our fingers together before he placed a kiss against the back of my hand.
"Instinct. It taught me that in order to save my battalion and my comrades I would need to order a retreat and bail before the device was triggered." He brushed his lips across my skin, creating a slow burn deep in my belly. "Bruce looked at me and told me that pushing myself to stop touching you was the same as me forcing my battalion to drive forward after my instinct told me that there was serious danger. It would be disastrous."
He kissed the back of my hand more fully as his eyes met mine. "He taught me that my instinct to touch should never be questioned or repressed because all I would be doing is damaging something much more important. You." His words were sweeter than sugar and I felt a heated blush flood my cheeks.
"Bruce has my thanks." All of my thanks. He was the reason I was able to enjoy Rhex fully.
"Mine as well." He lifted himself over me and kissed me deeply. I melted under him, arching my back as his kiss built a rapidly growing fire within me. I would never get enough of his kisses. I tugged my hand from his and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him down. His lips moved from my mouth to trail down my jaw and to my neck. I inhaled quickly, shivering under the heat of his touch. I trailed my hand down his shirt to his pants when a hard, unusual shape in his pocket made me pause.
"What's this?" I tapped with with a raised eyebrow. He pulled himself away from me with a start as he went up to his knees quickly, digging it out of his pocket. It was a decently sized box and he smiled at it.
"I forgot." He opened it and showed me. I blinked as the lights turned up slightly. Two bracelets lay in the box, a smaller one inside of a larger one. He pulled out the smaller one before setting the box to the side. I grinned at the realization of what they were. "They were finally finished." The bracelet was a slightly thick weathered silver band with Orrian symbols carved into the surface. I took them in with a teary smile.
I brushed my fingers against the carvings. "Mehba illeehd sirbaht onshe halh." The first of many loves will never be easy for its intensity is that of a thousand fiery suns. The Orrian and English translations of the poem wove around each other around the band.
Rhex nodded before gesturing for my hand. I lifted it quickly, sitting up as I wiped at my eyes. "Two beings caught in a raging inferno of the Source's creation. One cannot survive without the other and the other cannot survive without the one." He held the bracelet to my wrist and the side opened before it slid onto me gently, closing seamlessly. "Their love will be the spark that creates the beacons for those lost in the darkness. Their love will ignite the passions that have been faded for a millennia and it shall draw the lost ones from the darkness." I looked up at him before reaching out and grabbing his, my heart pounding in my chest. We would be truly bound in his culture. The gold rings were something Orrians barely looked at, the binding bracelets were their way of showing a bound couple.
"Without the first of many loves their souls are darkened, awaiting for the other half that will never come. Banished to the darkness as they had forsaken the light they wait without hope for the first of many to call them back home." I gestured for his own hand and he held it out. I held the bracelet to his wrist like he had done to mine and slid it onto him. "The first of many loves will never be easy for the winds of change blow harshly and the darkness will fight back against its fiery light." I looked up at him and locked my eyes to his. There was a softness to his face as some of his dark hair flopped into his face. He said nothing as he cupped my face and kissed me again. I grabbed the fabric of his shirt and pulled him closer, holding him tightly to me.
He deepened the kiss, gently moving me so I once again lay on my back, him hovering over me as he continued his mind scrambling kiss that made me feel like I was melting into the bed with the heat it caused. His hands moved under my shirt and I lifted my arms over my head, arching my back to help him pull my shirt off. I shivered as he slowly pushed my shirt up, his rough hands waking my nerves up, sending pleasurable things through my body.
He got it off halfway before someone banged on the door. We both gave a groan of disappointment at the interruption as he broke the kiss off. We both panted slightly and I couldn't help myself as I lifted my head and pressed a kiss to his lips. He returned it before the banging returned. He backed off, giving me several more pecks as he moved from off of me.
"I will be right back." His voice was husky and I liked the sound of his words. I stretched on the bed as he left the bedroom. I blinked at the ceiling but was distracted by the feminine voice that echoed through the apartment with apparent fury. I frowned and quickly got off the bed and left the bedroom. Nadila stood in the living room, her blond hair looking disarray as she threw her arms out. Rapid fire Orrian escaped her mouth. It was too fast for me to catch but Rhex barked back something in Orrian that sounded aggressive.
Nadila caught sight of me, her violet eyes filled with a rather dangerous fire. "You need to stick close to Rhex! There will be nothing but him to protect you." She spat the words out, her face red and I swallowed, looking between her and Rhex.
"What?" I didn't understand what was going on.
"The Oria Council had pulled Rhess, Lymirch, and I from our Council positions and has demanded we return to Oria. They have already sent our replacements. They will be here in two weeks." Her face expressed her anger but her tone expressed her panic and it mixed with the oppressive rage she was exuding.
I frowned, still not understanding what she was saying to us. "I don't-"
Her lilac eyes flashed with her anger as her chest heaved. "Khos has managed to convince the Oria council we needed to be transferred!" At that I swallowed, my throat dry with fear.
"You are leaving?" She couldn't leave. Nadila and Rhess and Lymirch were the only human friendly Orrians on the council. I never had much to do with Lymirch but his leanings were clear. Without them there was very little that was stopping Khos from doing as he wished
"Yes, and only the Source can help you now, Liviya." Her violet eyes spoke of her fear for me and as I tore my gaze to look at Rhex, his did as well.