"Feels Like Home" -- Chantal Kreviazuk
Somethin' in your eyes makes me wanna lose myself
Makes me wanna lose myself, in your arms
There's somethin' in your voice makes my heart beat fast
Hope this feeling lasts the rest of my life...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
June of 1996
Although she was under the legal drinking age, there wasn't any reason for her to show the fake I.D. that she had acquired early last year at Lucky's insistence. The bartender happened to be a fan of Beat Brigade, so when she ordered a beer, all he did was smile while pouring the cold liquid from a tap. The moment he set a glass mug in front of her on a cocktail napkin, a redhead who looked to be in her late twenties slipped into the barstool next to Jaden's. Once she ordered a martini, she sent the teenager an interested smile.
"You probably hear this all the time, but I love to hear you sing." Her barstool produced a screeching sound as she inched closer to Jaden. "I haven't decided what takes my breath away more--your voice or that beautiful face."
"Thanks either way." A timid smile on her lips, Jaden deeply drank from her mug. When the foam tickled her upper lip, she licked it away. Unbeknownst to Jaden, that caught her admirer's attention.
"How skilled is that tongue of yours, Jaden? It's Jaden right?" The redhead grinned, twirling a thick lock of hair around her index finger as she studied the young girl like she was a fascinating painting displayed on the wall within the confines of a museum.
Nodding, Jaden swiveled on her barstool searching the crowd for her band mates or Lucky. She spotted J.T. sandwiched between two women on the dance floor. Jaden would have called out to him to come over, but he was too enthralled with those women grinding against his front and back. She couldn't have begged the drummer on her hands and knees to rescue her.
"Are you looking for someone?" the older woman asked while seductively rolling her tongue around the small green olive that came with her drink. "The manager of your band is your girlfriend, right?" She didn't wait for confirmation before adding, "You could do so much better. She's not right for you."
"I happen to think that she's perfect for me." She jumped when a warm palm touched her knee. Her protest was stifled when the redhead kissed her on the lips without invitation. She raised her hands to push the other woman away from her, but Lucky pulled the redhead away instead. If she hadn't quickly grabbed onto the bar for stability, she would have fallen on the floor.
Three seconds later, she ended up there anyway when Lucky punched her in the jaw. Although the forceful blow didn't knock her out, the redhead forgot who and where she was for a couple of seconds. As a patron helped her to her feet, Jaden stared at her seething girlfriend. Others around them stared as well, wondering what was going on.
"Lucky, you shouldn't--"
Teeth clenched, Lucky informed her to shut up as she kept her eyes on the woman she caught kissing her girlfriend. Pulling the cocktail napkin from underneath the martini, the redhead wiped at the trickle of blood that had collected in the corner of her mouth. Despite the short assault, she didn't quaver under Lucky's murderous glare. "Keep your lips off of my girlfriend."
"Sure thing, although I'm not so sure that she minded." While crumbling the cocktail napkin, she audaciously grinned. "In return, make sure that you keep your hands off of me. I'm going to let this go, because if I were in your position I would have wanted to hit me too because," brown eyes trailed to a terrified Jaden, "that is one amazing girl you have." She tossed the soiled napkin at Lucky's boots. "Of course, I'm not too certain that you realize that." Reaching into her purse, she dropped a ten-dollar bill on the bar top, blew Jaden a kiss and then turned to leave.
The air kiss was about to earn her another punch, however, Pirate successfully held Lucky back until she assured him that she wouldn't follow the woman. J.T. had wandered over, but he stood close to Jaden, too worried about the band manager's quick temper to get involved.
"Jaden, we're going home," Lucky said, sounding more like her parental figure than her partner. An incensed parental figure.
"Lucky, why don't you let me take her home?" Pirate asked, his worried gaze concealed behind his beloved aviator shades. He was afraid of what might happen if Lucky and Jaden left the nightclub alone. "You've been drinking and you could use some time to cool off before you guys talk. Diego went home already and J.T.'s not in any position to drive either, so I could call you both a taxi."
"This doesn't concern you, so keep your goddamned nose out of our business, Pirate. Jaden, let's go. Now." Pulling her keys from her pocket, Lucky impatiently slapped them against the side of her thigh. Solemnly meeting Pirate's eyes, Jaden slightly shook her head as if to say 'please just stay out of it'. She then turned to the bartender who was pretending to wipe down an already spotless counter. When she reached for her wallet, he informed her that the beer was on the house. Quietly thanking him and bidding Pirate and J.T. a good night, she followed Lucky out of the nightclub. No one but she heard the rapid beating of her heart.
Neither of them said a word during the fifteen-minute trip home and the silence did nothing to quell Jaden's fears. She almost would have preferred Lucky to scream at her while driving. As it was, she had no clue what thoughts were running through the older woman's mind and what she planned to do once they arrived at the apartment. Lips firmly pressed together, her jaw set and venomous charcoal eyes focusing on the road ahead, Lucky gripped the steering wheel tight enough for her knuckles to turn white. The only time she opened her mouth was to sigh once.
Walking inside the apartment, Lucky headed into their bedroom, no words having passed her lips since being inside the nightclub. Afraid to follow her and at the same time afraid not to, Jaden hesitantly trailed after her girlfriend.
Her mouth dropped open as she stopped in the doorway watching Lucky carelessly toss her clothes in the two suitcases she brought when she moved in. Lucky said nothing as she pulled drawers open, searching through neat stacks for any clothes that belonged to Jaden. Two pairs of jeans flew into one of the suitcases. Jaden decided that it was time and now absolutely necessary to break the silence.
"What are you doing?" she asked in a voice barely above a whisper.
Dropping a pack of unopened undershirts into a suitcase, Lucky refused to make eye contact. "What does it look like I'm doing, Jaden? I'm packing your shit so you can get outta here."
"But why?"
Snorting, Lucky slammed a filled suitcase closed and snapped the lock into place. "Don't act like you wanna be here. If you don't wanna be here then you don't have to be and I sure as hell don't want you here." Jaden flinched when she threw the suitcase in her direction. It landed about two feet in front of her, but the teenager made no move to pick it up.
"You really want me to go? Lucky, nothing happened with that woman. She kissed me but I didn't kiss her back. I swear!" She started to panic when her explanation didn't deter the lanky woman's packing. Of all the things she imagined Lucky might have done, she never expected that her lover would kick her out of their home. Jaden briefly tried to imagine her life without Lucky in it. The tears began to well. She would die without her. There wasn't a doubt in her mind that she would.
"Oh really? 'Cause I could swear that I saw her touching your knee and you did nothing about it. And then that bitch kissed you. Didn't look like nothing to me, Jaden!" Lucky hurriedly piled clothing along with shoes from the closet inside the second suitcase. "Is that the first time you messed around behind my back? You don't gotta do it anymore 'cause I'm letting you go." When she finally looked at Jaden, the younger woman was taken aback by the anguish she plainly read on Lucky's face. She couldn't recall her lover ever looking so troubled. "If you don't want me and only me then I don't want you. You were never a prisoner here--you could leave whenever you wanted. I won't stop you. If you were afraid of me stopping you, you don't gotta be."
Angrily swiping at a tear, Lucky shut the second suitcase and locked it. Grabbing the handle she walked toward Jaden and deposited the suitcase at her feet. "There's your shit. Now go." Shaking her head, Jaden reached out for Lucky only to be rebuffed when the woman stepped away from her.
"Lucky, please listen to me. I had no interest in her. I love you and you're the only woman that I want to be with. You're the only woman that I'll ever want. You have got to believe me. The last thing I want to do is leave you. Just the thought of that makes me ache." Tears rolled down her face as Jaden walked passed the suitcases to stand in front of Lucky. "I need you, Lucky. You're all that I need. Please don't let me go. Early on in our relationship you said that you didn't ever want to let me go, so don't."
Hesitantly, she pressed her palm to the other woman's cheek. Relieved that Lucky didn't slap it away, she inclined her head to kiss her. At first Lucky didn't respond, but after a few seconds she wrapped her arms around Jaden while possessively claiming her mouth. Their moans blended as they moved toward the bed, Lucky ending up straddled on top of her young lover. Leaving her lips, she hurriedly removed their clothes before drawing Jaden's hands above her head and linking their fingers together.
The dark curly thatch between her thighs felt tickly and warm on Jaden's stomach as she slowly grinded on top of her. The teenager found herself mesmerized by the breasts just begging for her touch. Pinning Jaden's hands to the mattress, Lucky faintly grinned at her desired prey.
"Who do you belong to, Jaden?"
It wasn't necessary to give her reply any thought. "You, Lucky. Only you."
Parking her Hummer between the two cars had been such an ordeal that Jaden felt a little warm as she set the brake. Parallel parking had never been her favorite thing, but it was difficult to find a space near Sunshine Convalescence. The good news was that this space was in close proximity to the entrance of the clinic. However, in order to occupy it, she came dangerously close to bumping the new Nissan parked behind her. Getting out of her Hummer, Jaden apprehensively checked the front of the sparkling Nissan, relieved to confirm that she hadn't harmed it.
Tucking her car keys into a pocket of her jeans shorts, she strolled toward the entrance and walked inside the air-conditioned two-story building. She pushed her sunglasses to rest on top of her head as she headed in the direction of a nurses station where a slightly heavyset Hispanic woman sat talking on the phone with a patient's family member. Not wanting to intrude, Jaden stopped a few feet away from the nurses station, waiting for the woman to hang up. Less than a minute later she did and Jaden quickly approached before she could rise.
"Excuse me, do you think that you could help me find someone?" The first stop she made after the plane landed was Georgie's apartment, only to discover after knocking, ringing the doorbell and checking her carport to find that her Kia was missing, that the younger woman wasn't home. Recalling that Georgie intended to volunteer at the hospital Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, she entered her destination into her GPS navigation system. A feminine voice directed her to Sunshine Convalescence. Now Jaden hoped that her friend was there.
"I'll try my..." as the nurse looked up, her voice lightened until her words were no longer audible. As if she couldn't believe her eyes, she blinked several times, but Jaden remained standing in front of her with a friendly smile playing on her lips. In that case, could she be a very convincing look-alike? Lupe couldn't think of a reason why a celebrity would be at Sunshine Convalescence unless they happened to have a family member residing there. "Are you Jaden Connelly? The singer?"
The brunette's smile grew as she nodded. "That I am."
"You were at my daughter's wedding!"
"I was? Did I catch the bouquet?"
Lupe laughed through her awe at coming face to face with a famous person. "No, I didn't explain that well. I mean that we played one of your romantic ballads softly in the background while she and my son-in-law became man and wife at the altar. She selected the song because she loves your music."
"Well, I'm touched," Jaden genuinely replied. "How is married life treating them?"
The nurse's bright smile spoke volumes. "Very well. Their second wedding anniversary is in October and they're going to give me my first grandchild in mid December." If possible, her smile turned brighter. "The best Christmas gift ever."
"Congratulations, Lupe," the musician stated after reading the badge hanging from around the older woman's neck by a thin colorful rope.
While thanking her, the nurse decided that they should get back to the reason for Jaden's visit. "You said that you were looking for someone? Is one of our patients your relative?"
Before Jaden could answer, a pair of strong hands gripped her shoulders squeezing just a bit before releasing them. As she turned to see who was behind her, she was enveloped in a brief hug. She smiled at the familiar face looking back at her. "Hey, Ronnie, what's up?"
The LVN shrugged. "Just working. Surprised to see you here." Delighted gray eyes widened. "Oh, did Georgie call you concerning our dire need for entertainment? Activities booked a local musician, but he called half an hour ago to tell us that he wouldn't make it due to car trouble. I think it's so incredible that you would offer to help us out."
She couldn't possibly say no when she glanced between Lupe and Sharon's hopeful expressions. "Do you have any music that I can sing along to?"
"No, the closest is a radio. The entertainers usually bring their own equipment. However, there is a piano in the activity room."
Nodding, Jaden smiled. "A piano will do."
Seated behind the upright mahogany finished piano located in the activity room, Jaden waited for her mainly wheelchair occupying audience to enter. She had signed quite a few autographs after word of her presence at Sunshine Convalescence spread like wildfire through staff and volunteers. Speaking of volunteers, she had yet to find Georgie, though she knew from Sharon that the little blonde was around there somewhere. Perhaps she would make an appearance during the concert, which was supposed to last an hour.
A few minutes later, they were ready to begin and Jaden offered her audience a warm greeting. Only two of the patients recognized her and they appeared to be in their mid to late fifties. She asked if anyone had requests as she noticed Vanessa entering the room. She smiled and waved, as did the cheery CNA.
One petite elderly woman with an IV pole attached to her, raised her hand. She reminded Jaden of Estelle Getty during her years spent on Golden Girls, except this woman had platinum blonde hair, which might have been recently acquainted with a box of hair dye. Smiling, the musician pointed to her.
"Honey, do you know the song Crazy by Patsy Cline?"
"What's your name?" Jaden asked her while poising her fingers on the keys.
"You may call me Sally."
"Well, Ms. Sally, I certainly do know that song and I'd be happy to play it for you. Is there anyone that you're dedicating it to?"
"Gerald--my first late husband, honey." She lightly chuckled as she shook her head. Sally must have used a good amount of hairspray because her coif didn't budge a centimeter. "Half the time I asked myself why I loved that man. And the other half I asked myself how I couldn't."
A bittersweet smile on her face, Jaden's thoughts drifted back to her college days and more specifically her years spent with Lucky Santino. "I know exactly where you're coming from, Sally. This one is for you and Gerald." Her fingertips tapped the keys perfectly as she played the opening notes to one of Patsy's most popular songs.
Crazy, I'm crazy for feelin' so lonely
I'm crazy, crazy for feelin' so blue
I knew you'd love me as long as you wanted
And then someday you'd leave me for somebody new...
A plastic box filled with markers, colored pencils and crayons in her hands for the art class scheduled for three o'clock, Georgie stopped midway on the stairs as she faintly heard a hauntingly beautiful voice performing Crazy. As far as she knew, Jaden had never recorded a rendition of the song, so most likely what she heard wasn't coming from a radio. A grin splitting her face, Georgie hurried down the remaining stairs and promptly crashed into Sharon. Fortunately, neither of them fell. However, drawing utensils of all colors catapulted to the carpet.
"I'm sorry, Ronnie," the blonde apologized, giving the taller woman the once over. "Are you okay?"
"Yes, I'm fine." Sharon smiled to assure her. Leaning down, she helped Georgie to collect the markers, pencils and crayons. Once they were done, she confirmed that Jaden was indeed singing for the patients in the activity room. Taking the box from Georgie, she told her to go enjoy. "She came here looking for you and I put her to work." The LVN broadly grinned. "I 'booked' Jaden Connelly for a gig at Sunshine Convalescence. This could get me a raise." She winked while Georgie started to laugh. Inclining her head toward the activity room's direction, Sharon said, "Now go ahead. She's in retirement, so there's no telling when she'll give another concert."
"What about you?" They heard loud applause. Jaden must have finished Crazy.
"I'll pop my head in soon. I have meds to pass out." Sharon pointed toward the box. "I'll take this to the arts & crafts room. See you later, Georgie." As she walked off, Georgie watched her for a moment before heading toward the small concert.
When she arrived, Jaden was performing a song that she didn't recognize. It sounded like something which had probably been recorded before either of them was born. As the song came to an end, their eyes connected and the brunette began to smile. The adorable blonde leaning against a side of the double-doored entrance was her girlfriend. Blessed couldn't begin to describe how Jaden felt.
"Would you like to request a song, little lady?" she inquired, her eyes remaining on Georgie. Numerous eyes strayed to her waiting for an answer.
Georgie nodded. "I'd love to."
"One stipulation--we've decided that requested songs must be pre-1970 and if I don't know it, I have to give you five dollars." Grinning, Jaden added, "Gimme your best shot, little lady."
The younger woman sent her a mock scowl. "Understood, but ease up on that 'little' stuff pardna'." Chuckles rang through the room.
Blue eyes twinkling with amusement, Jaden tipped her baseball cap to Georgie. "Understood back at ya."
A success, the concert lasted close to thirty minutes longer than it should have. At the end, Jaden took a bow as those around her cheered. One gentleman in his eighties offered her a red rose, which she tucked behind her ear as she leaned over to kiss his cheek. Frank would probably blush for the rest of the day.
"I'll walk you to your car," Georgie said while she and Jaden stood in the lobby. Others within the lobby pretended that they weren't paying attention to the couple. "Just let me get my purse first, okay?"
"You're on your way out too?"
"Yep, I'm done for the day. Be right back."
Once Georgie rounded the corner, Vanessa entered the lobby from another direction, her gaze settling on the musician looking out of a window. Walking up to her, she slapped her on the bottom. Quickly turning around, her look of surprise turned into a smirk.
"You are so fresh, buttercup."
"Are you cheating on me, hot stuff? With my best friend of all people? Be honest." Folding her arms against her chest, Vanessa feigned hurt. "I thought we had something special, you and I. In fact, I've been contemplating putting a promise ring on your finger."
"Oh, buttercup we do. Don't you ever doubt that. But you know what they say. Two are better than one." Both women began to laugh as Georgie returned ready to leave. She glanced between the two of them while a smile bloomed.
"All right since the other woman has returned, I'm getting back to work. But you know that I need my obligatory hug first." Vanessa outstretched her arms. "So give it up, hot stuff." Their arms wrapped around one another, the CNA gave Jaden's upper body a good squeeze before she released her. "Take good care of my Georgie here. She's a treasure." She reached for the blonde's reddening cheek and pinched it.
Her eyes on Georgie, Jaden nodded. "Don't I know it."
They held hands during the all too brief journey to the Hummer. Leaning against the drivers' side door, Jaden pulled the smaller woman into her arms while she planted a kiss in her hair. "I've missed you," she murmured, though Georgie understood each word.
"I've missed you too." She kept her hands on Jaden's waist wanting to remain in contact until she drove away. Georgie was pleased that her friend didn't fully release her either. "What you did today for those patients was very kind. They and everyone else in attendance enjoyed it."
A smile touched Jaden's lips. "I enjoyed myself. Reminded me of the many years spent performing," she wistfully replied.
"You miss it." It sounded more like a statement than question.
"Ah, sometimes I do. But I love being retired."
"Sometimes musicians claim that they're retiring and that this and that one are their farewell concerts, but before you can blink they're back in the limelight with a new set of tracks raring to go."
Jaden grinned. "Is that a subtle way of asking if there's a possibility that I'll choose to come out of retirement?"
Georgie wore a tiny grin. "I suppose that's what I was doing."
The brunette gave her question a few moments of thought. "I'd say that there's about a 25-30% chance. Would you have a problem with it?"
"Of course not. Singing is your passion."
Staring into the face of this earthbound angel, Jaden's first instinct was to censor her next words, but her heart won this particular battle fought with her head. Bringing her hands up to cup Georgie's face she whispered, "You're becoming my passion."
Georgie barely registered urging Jaden's head toward her, however, within seconds lips she ached to kiss were just a scant distance. Their eyes slowly closed as theirs lips met in a delicate kiss. Though short-lived, in their opinions it was worth the wait. Her forehead resting against Georgie's, Jaden regretfully said that she had to get going.
"My next stop is to pick up my daughter from her Aunt Heather's house."
Georgie smiled up at her. "Please tell everyone hello for me."
"I will. You want to come over tomorrow for your next surf lesson?"
"I'll definitely be there. I hear Flipper calling me. Now that I'm not working, I can come earlier if that's all right with you."
"You wanna swing by around noon? I'll fix lunch."
"You spoil me."
"Love to." Winking, Jaden kissed her cheek. Beeping the Hummer, she moved into the drivers' seat and shut the door. A moment later, she rolled the window down. "Does anything in particular sound good to you to have for lunch?"
As a matter of fact you do, but I'll refrain from telling you that. "Surprise me, J-Co. You're good at doing that."
"Yes, that's totally true." Jaden lowered her shades to cover her eyes as she beamed. "Gigi, as soon as you take your cute little rear safely to the sidewalk I'll pull out."
Georgie glanced behind her where cars zoomed by. "Oh, right! I'll go right now." She leaned into the window to kiss Jaden once more, their lips producing a smacking sound as she pulled away. "See you tomorrow, Jae."
"Bye, sweetheart."
Standing on the sidewalk, Georgie watched the Hummer heading down the street until it disappeared from view. Walking across the street where she had parked her Kia, she slipped inside. A minute later, she was headed in the opposite direction. A large smile was affixed to her lips as she joyously sang along to the radio, not caring if other drivers thought she might be crazy. She was a woman in love and nothing had ever felt this incredible.