< CW - Suicide attempt, depression >
"BAKUGOU!"
I jerk backwards, stomach lurching as my eyes fly open. I could've sworn I just heard Kiri's voice. I turn around, hope rising in my chest, only to see the cold cement walls.
I knew I was just imagining things. Kirishima's at the concert right now; there's no way he could even know where I am. Stop trying to tell yourself someone cares.
I'm building up the courage to fall once more, whenever I hear Kirishima yell again. "BAKUGOU DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE YOU SON OF A BITCH!"
I stumble backward, knowing I didn't imagine it this time. But wait, what?- The sounds of frantic footsteps coming from the stairwell echo up onto the roof, and I can only watch as Kirishima bursts through the door, panting and panicked. His eyes widen at the sight of me.
Fuck.
"Please, Kirishima, don't-" I say quietly, the words captured by the wind howling on the roof. I know he can't hear me.
This is for the best, this is for the best, this is for the best and you know it you disgusting piece of shit-
I smile at him, lips trembling, and mouth, "I'm sorry". He vehemently shakes his head back and forth, tears running down his cheeks, and I can see the pain in his eyes. The pain I'm causing, yet again. It's my fault, it's always my fault.
He takes a step forward as if to stop me, but he's almost 40 feet away. He knows he won't make it in time. We both do.
"BAKUGOU, PLEASE, BAKUGOU!" He begs, almost screaming, the wind tearing at his frantic words until I can barely hear them. I can see the panic written over his face, the anguish, and just as I'm about to close my eyes again the wind seems to stop long enough for his strangled words to carry across the wind-blown cement. Wait wait wait, what did he just...
The sound of the wind falls away, as though a curtain were dropped around us, as his choked out words, "I- I love you too, kat-" hang, gripped almost wrathfully in the charged air.
Wait-
What?
My eyes flinch open to see him crumpling to the ground, covering his face with his hands, frame wracked with shuddering sobs.
What did he just say? He... He....
He what?- Did, did I mishear that?-
I swallow, throat uncomfortably dry for some reason, and take a step forward, away from the edge, to see him glance back up at me. He scrambles to his feet when he sees me just staring at him, and takes a couple hesitant steps towards me, before breaking out into a run. I stumble towards him, although the air feels thick, as if I'm underwater.
We meet halfway and he collides into me, the world coming rushing back in a torrent of sound, and he's wrapping me in his arms so tight I can hardly breathe. As we sink to the ground together he doesn't let go, whispering, "Oh my god oh my god oh my god," over and over into my hair. I can feel the hot tears dripping down his face. One lands on my collar bone, followed by another, and another. His breath is coming in rapid pants, probably from sprinting up so many stairs, and he runs his hands repeatedly over my back, as if trying to convince himself that I'm really there.
"Oh my god Bakugou, oh my god," I feel tears start to prick at my eyes too, and I curl into his chest, fingers clutching at the back of his shirt. It feels... right, to be here. "You fucking idiot, you fucking idiot, YOU FUCKING IDIOT, HOW COULD YOU?!" He yells, pulling away and grabbing my shoulders with shaking hands. "HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO ME?! Jesus Christ, I- I- oh my god." His voice crumples like a tin can, and he starts to outright sob, pressing his forehead to my shoulder.
An icky feeling starts to smother me, my heart clenching, and I whisper a small, "I'm sorry," against his shaking form. I had no idea it would cause him so much pain. I had no idea he... he loved me... too?
But wait a second, what about Denki?
I'm about to ask him about that when he seemingly reads my mind, drawing together his scattered edges enough to choke out, "Me and Denki aren't- we aren't together, I-I don't know what you saw, but I promise that we- that we aren't- Denki's straight and I don't like him like th-that anyways!" He pulls away from my shoulder, his face blotchy and red. "I like you Bakugou! Jesus, and I- and I thought I made it so obvious too.." He lets out a broken laugh, tears carving pathways down his face.
"I-I-" Fuck. I swallow, not knowing how to respond. He just pulls me into his chest again and I start full on crying too, sobs catching in my dry throat.
"Promise me you'll never do that again, promise me Bakugou, please," He whispers, voice tight, and I can almost feel my heart crack in half.
"I promise, I'm so sorry Kirishima, I'm so sorry."
After we sit like that for a couple minutes, although he doesn't let go of me the entire time, like he's afraid I'll disappear if he doesn't hold on tight enough.
My adrenaline high from earlier has started to dissipate, and my muscles feel weak and shaky, like ramen noodles boiled for too long. I slump against him further as he holds me, and he seems to notice since he pulls away a little, enough to see into my face. "You ok, Bakugou? You're probably exhausted, we can just go back-" He cuts off as he seems to realize how close our faces are, and swallows nervously. "Ok... so this is definitely the wrong time but...but Bakugou- what are we? If you wanna talk about this later that's totally fine I just-"
"I-I guess we can... we can be- uh whatever you want us to be Shitty hair."
Dear God, what if he doesn't want to date me? What if he'd rather let his feelings dissipate then act on them because-
"Uh, would you.. would you wanna be my boyfriend, Bakugou?"
My heart almost stops at the question, and I manage to stutter out, "I- y-yeah.", before getting too embarrassed to look him in the face anymore, and burying my face into his chest. I can feel him grinning against my hair, and I smile weakly into his shirt, where he can't see it. He presses a kiss onto the top of my head, and reality hits me.
Holy shit. I almost just died. And now I'm dating Kirishima. What the fuck.
I start crying again at the overflow of emotions I usually keep under check, and he just pulls me onto his legs so that I'm straddling him, pressing kisses to the top of my head and rubbing my back.
"Should I come back later?" A vaguely familiar voice inquiries from my left, and I flinch and scrub at the tears on my face, pushing myself off of Kiri and standing up.
"Who the fuck is-" I look up to see Todoroki, one of that bastard Deku's friends, awkwardly standing there, hands in his pockets. "The fuck are y-you doing here you Half and Half Bastard?!" I try and growl, but my voice warbles from the tears still clogging up my throat. I settle for glaring at him, which he just shrugs off. He completely ignores me, instead turning to where Kirishima's still sitting on the ground, "Should I text everyone and say that they can stop searching? Izu's still out there rallying everyone."
W-What?
Kirishima lets out a relieved laugh. "Yeah, you can tell them. I got to him in time. Thank you guys so much for helping though. I don't know what I would've done if..." He trails off, and stands up, clearing his throat. "Just... thank you.".
"What the fuck is going on here? I'm fucking confused." I interrupt, annoyed at them for leaving me out of the conversation.
Todoroki turns to me, narrowing his eyes slightly. "You. You should be grateful to Kirishima for all of the effort he put into finding you whenever you decided it was a good idea to just go and flounce yourself off the top of a building. Everyone goes through shit in life, and if Kirishima didn't love you so hecking much, you'd be dead now." His gaze softens a little. "Though I am glad that you're ok. Kirishima called everyone that he could think of to come and try to find you, you're lucky he remembered you had shared your location with him a while ago and decided to bring your phone along. He wouldn't have gotten to you in time to save you by the looks of it. He even missed the concert because of you, as did Mina, Denki, and Jiro."
I can't move, I'm so fucking shocked. It's like my feet are cemented to the ground. I turn to look at Kirishima incredulously, eyes wide, and he just rubs the back of his neck, looking away. "It wasn't just me, you know. Todoroki canceled his party to get everyone to look for you too." I feel more tears slide down my cheeks and I don't even try to wipe them off, letting them drop down onto the windblow concret.
"Th-thank you.." I manage to say, looking down at my shoes.
Todoroki just chuckles, sliding his phone out of his pants. "I'll tell the others you're ok."
Short Time Skip
About a half hour later I'm back on the ground again, people clamoring around me; some giving me hugs, some crying; basically it's just a huge ass mess.
"KACCHAN HOW COULD YOU?! I-I-I-" Deku starts hysterically wailing into my shoulder, wrapping his tiny arms best he can around my torso. I roll my eyes but don't push him off like I normally would since Kirishima said I had to be "nice". Denki's hugging me from the other side, something that would've made my blood boil not even two hours ago, and crying dramatically as well. "I'M SO GLAD THAT YOU'RE OK KACCHAN, DON'T YOU EVER DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT AGAIN, YOU HEAR ME?!" Deku shouts, tears spilling out of his large green eyes like faucets.
"Yeah yeah, I hear you, ya' damned nerd," I mutter, and he nods up at me like we just made some sort of fucking blood pact or something. Mina comes up to me, who I now realize was the "pink haired bitch" from Moonbucks yesterday (I knew she looked familiar), dabbing at her eyes with a handkerchief.
"I'm really glad that you're ok," Is all she says, before grabbing me into a quick hug and walking off to her girlfriend.
"Everyone was really worried about you, you know." Says a low voice in my ear, and I nearly flinch whenever I feel Kirishima drape an arm over my shoulders.
"Yeah... I've noticed," I say, a lump in my throat. I don't deserve all of this attention and worry though. It would all be better spent on someone else, someone more likable and sociable than me.
I don't realize I have a sullen look on my face until Kirishima flicks my forehead, "Stop that.".
"Stop what?"
"That thing you're doing. Thinking you don't deserve this. You do, I promise. You're worth all of this Bakugou. Seriously. Nobody here thinks any differently." I smile softly at him, forgetting we're in public until I hear a loud gasp from in front of us.
"OH MY GOD. HOLY SHIT. DID IT HAPPEN?!" Mina almost shrieks, pointing at us. Kirishima just laughs, and I feel my face heat up.
"I-I don't know what you're talking about fucking Racoon Eyes!" I spit, shrugging Kiri's arm off of my shoulders. He grins next to me and wraps it around my waist instead, pulling me against his side.
"Yup, it did!" He beams, pressing a kiss to my temple. I let out a strangled sound and push him away, embarrassed to be in front of all of these people. On the inside I'm melting though, and I almost feel bad for pulling away. I know he understands though.
A couple hours later, after everyone's gone back to their respective houses, me and Kiri are still there, sitting on the steps. We've long ceased talking, opting instead for a comforting silence. It doesn't feel awkward or anything; I'm just taking the time to enjoy being near him.
I'm so glad I didn't jump. Jesus Christ, I'm so glad.
He gives my hand a light squeeze where our hands are intertwined between us, and I look over to see him looking at me, squeezing back. He's so goddamn gorgeous. I don't realize I've said it outloud though until pink dusts his cheeks and he looks down, smiling.
"You are too, you know," He says quietly, and scooches across the step until our sides are pressed together. I feel happiness bubble up inside of me, a warm and airy feeling that I haven't felt to this degree in a long while. He brings our hands up to his face and kisses the back of mine before closing his eyes, lifting his face up towards the sky to feel the faint breeze.
It ruffles up his hair, the bright red shining in the dim dusk light.
Before I even know what I'm doing I put a hand on the side of his face, caressing it, and gently bringing it downwards so our foreheads are resting together. The feeling of his warm skin against mine spreads a strange sort of heat throughout me. He opens his eyes, the lights of the streetlamps reflecting in them, and I run a thumb over his cheek, slowly bringing his face towards mine. "Is this ok?" I whisper, our lips almost touching. His bright gaze distracts me, and he leans forward to press his soft lips against mine, a painstakingly gentle touch that has fireworks shooting off in my stomach. It stops all too soon.
I unlace our hands and bring my other hand up to cup the back of his neck, pressing my lips to his again, harder. I've never felt anything like this before, it's something I can't even begin to describe. Like the feeling of a breeze on a summer day, the smell of roses blooming, the taste of coffee, the feeling of a cat arching up into your hand; something indescribable and intimate, something making this moment wholly ours and ours alone. The world could combust into a million pieces right now and I would give a shit. We could be the last people alive and I wouldn't care, as long as he was there with me.
He slides a hand up my back, resting one on the side of my face, and angles his head a little, slanting his lips against mine again. His lips are so soft, Jesus Christ. He doesn't try to go any further, waiting for me to make a move and go as far as I'm comfortable with. God damn, I love him so much.
I pull away long enough for him to open his eyes, and just gaze into them, resting our foreheads together again.
"I love you," I whisper, "I love you so much it's not fucking ok."
He smiles at me fondly, brushing some hair out of my face. "I love you too, Baku."
My heartbeat speeds up and I can feel the tips of my ears turning red as I mumble, looking away, "You can... you can call me K-Katsuki if you want to.." and bite my lip, flustered. He chuckles, and a grin lights up his face, making my heart tug in response. Pretty bastard.
"Ok... Kat. But only if you call me Eijiro."
I bury my face into his chest to hide the red spreading across my cheeks and he slides his arms over my shoulders, lacing them around me. I literally feel so god damned happy I could combust right now, my face pressed into Kiri- no, Eijiro's chest, his arms around me, and the feeling of his lips still imprinted on mine.
We sit there for a while until it gets so dark the streetlamps are the only source of light, talking, cuddling, and casually kissing, before walking home, our hands laced together the whole way back.
I'm so fucking glad I didn't jump.