"What a curse to be ever understanding but never understood."
Kamilla Tolnø
"Samual, could no come," the Alaskan Alpha growled, the Scottish purr of his accent thick against the harsh tone. "As he is now playing Alpha amongst those feral wolves, thanks t'your command."
"It's only temporary." Thane rolled his eyes at the towering male before him, not seeming the least bit concerned by the rage in his expression. There was no hint of fear from my Alpha Male, not even when even Sandra cringed in the Alaskan Alpha's presence. "Thank you though, for coming."
The wild Alpha sighed deeply, nostrils flaring as he tried to contain his anger. He nodded once in acknowledgement of Thane's words, before his eyes drifted towards me and Nero on the porch.
"Fuck," Nero swore softly beside me, tensing as his eyes dropping to the floor away from the powerful male. I barely bit back my smile.
I stared back at the Alaskan Alpha for a prolonged second, a second longer than I should have, before I politely averted my gaze.
I heard his rumbling laughter a second later.
The male had been waiting outside the main house when Thane and I had returned from our swim. Sandra, Adriel and Lorcan had been lingering nearby, watching him with clear caution, while the rugged male merely sat with his back against the wooden porch, seeming the least bit concerned by the watching eyes.
When Thane and I had emerged from the trees, the male had clambered to his feet and waited in silence for Thane to reach him.
I had wasted no time in leaving Thanes side, desperate to change my clothes and shower, only to be caught by the door to the main house as Nero emerged, a wicked grin directed my way. He almost hadn't even noticed the other Alpha only a few feet away, his attention very much secured on my form clad in Thanes t-shirt, reeking of him.
Already I could see what was sure to be a taunting quip forming on his tongue, but it quickly died at the sound of the Alaskan Alpha's thick Scottish accent filling the air. And so he had simply been content to sit on this damn porch, eager to see what transpired between the two Alphas and forcing me to sit with him. Hunting for gossip, is what he was no doubt doing. The nosy little wolf.
With my gaze still averted from the powerful male, the oldest wolf currently residing in America, I waited for the conversation between the Alpha's to resume. Silence remained, and instead my sights were filled with a pair of large bare feet stopping before me.
"Emily," the old wolf greeted, bowing his head toward me slightly, amusement rife in his expression. He didn't acknowledge Nero beside me. Heat claimed my cheeks, all too aware that he would smell Thane on every inch of me, and I on him. But he didn't say anything more, choosing instead to walk past me and a tense Nero, and entered the main building as if he had been here a thousand times before. All eyes locked onto his retreating back.
Silence engulfed the six of us still outside after his departure. Silence, until Adriel audibly shuddered and muttered under his breath, "Gods, I hate it when he comes here."
Sandra, Lorcan and he were stood next to Thane now, three strong wolves guarding their Alpha from a possible threat. Not that I thought Alaskan Alpha would ever be a threat to Thane, not after what he had shared with me about his upbringing. In fact, Thane didn't seem the least bit concerned by the other Alpha's presence, and I remembered the vague plans that had been made for this visit while we were in Nevada.
"You just don't like Alpha's," Lorcan chided, shoving the immature Beta Male away from him when Adriel crudely stuck his tongue out.
"Believe me," Thane drawled, drawing everyone's attention, "the feelings mutual Adriel." The mocking smile he sent Adriel sent Sandra cackling, and I was rendered frozen on the porch as I witnessed the usually stern Alpha Male finally engaging in the teasing his pack loved so much.
"Everyone likes me," Adriel grumbled, "What's not to like? Besides, you think anyone likes you, you grumpy old man?"
"I have a feeling Emily likes him very much," Sandra teased, winking in my direction.
"Okay," I cleared my throat, swallowing the embarrassment that consumed my cheeks in an unavoidable heat, especially as Thane's heated eyes caught mine, the grin on his face, a promise of more satisfaction to come. "I'm going inside now, I need a shower. Don't involve me in your pissing match."
"Yes, it must be horrible having to smell like Harris," Adriel sympathised, upper lip curling in faux disgust as he eyed his Alpha with distaste. I only rolled my eyes and turned away, just in time to catch Thane grabbed his Beta roughly.
Seconds later I heard Adriel's grunts, and Sandra's and Lorcan's encouragement of what I was sure would be a playful, albeit rough, fight between the two males.
***
"Where's Riley?" I asked hours later, laying in my bed with the Alpha male wrapped around me. I hadn't seen the young wolf since my fight with Daniel, and I found it hard to believe that he had been left unsupervised.
Like the last time I found myself sharing my bed with the Alpha Male, he had not received an invitation to join me, and yet he hadn't seemed the least bit unsure of himself as he confidently strolled into the room.
He lay on his side next to me, fingertips trailing a delicate path as they danced up and down the exposed skin of my midriff from where my sweatshirt had risen.
"I left him to get settled in one of the spare rooms downstairs, with an enforcer. Figured it would be less intimidating for the pup. He was shaking the entire journey beside me."
"You left him by himself with an unknown enforcer wolf, in an unfamiliar pack, and you thought it would be less intimidating for him?"
"I had just seen you spar with Daniel," he shot me a pointed look. "I was barely holding onto my composure. I didn't need the pup to see me like that and risk him never trusting me enough for anyone to train him."
"Let's hope he doesn't run across Alpha Allister then." I remembered vividly the young wolf's reaction to the Alpha more than twice his size. Stumbling upon him again in the Colorado cabin would surely send Riley running.
Even Thane cringed at my statement.
"Why is the Alaskan Alpha here? He mentioned an anniversary, when we were in Nevada. Anniversary of what?" Perhaps I shouldn't have been prying. It was hardly my place to ask such personal things of Thane. Just because he was now sharing my bed, just because I knew he held some form of affection towards me, it didn't mean he would want to pour out his heart to me.
"My parents death," he murmured quietly, shifting to curl up beside me and rest his head against my stomach. I briefly wondered if he did so to hide his expression from me, as if the privacy of it would make it easier to speak on the subject. I didn't speak, hoping my silence allowed him the courage to continue, but didn't hesitate to run my fingers through his hair, desperate for that extra contact. "It was a long time ago."
A long time ago perhaps, but clearly still just as hard for him.
He turned his face into me, pressed against the softness of my belly, a hand sneaking under my sweatshirt to rest against the bare skin, as if he too needed the extra physical contact.
"What were they like?"
"My mother was perhaps the kindest woman I've ever met," he began, speaking softly, his words muffled by the fabric of her sweatshirt. Woman, not female. His mother had been human? "She was soft spoken, but strong. Strong enough to stand beside my father in all his might. I don't remember much though. I was young when they died."
He sighed, hand shifting to circle my waist, and the arm that was now draped across me tightened. I kept quiet, not sure what to say, if there was anything I could say to comfort him. So instead I continued to thread my fingers through his hair, nails softly scraping against his scalp. He leant into my touch.
"They were killed by hunters," he confessed a moment later. "They had targeted my mother first, that was the only way they were able to ensnare my father. He was... he was a rough male, truly wild personified. A terrifying male when he wanted to be, who would have torn the world apart for my mother, no question about it. And when they had her, it was over for him. Allister, Samual and Dante - another of our companions - had grabbed me and ran without a moments hesitation, to ensure my safety.
"My parents - they were mortal, unlike Allister, Samual and I. My father had aged, had spent nearly his whole life on the run, and he had been tired. With my mother gone, he didn't have anything else to live for. I didn't see him again."
I frowned at Thane's words, at the dismissal of his own importance in his fathers life. I wanted to tell him that it wasn't true, that he was enough for his father, that he hadn't died at the hands of the hunters because he didn't value Thane's existence. I wanted to comfort him and ensure Thane knew just how important he was.
But I hadn't known his parents, and I wouldn't presume to know anything about his past.
What I should have told him, was how his presence in my life made me want to live. I should have told him, that the overwhelming feeling of restlessness that had plagued me my entire childhood, the profuse desire to escape my pack and explore, had settled in his presence - as if he, this pack, was what I had been searching for.
Perhaps not him exactly, but the role he and this pack had filled in my life - his acceptance, the understanding of who I was and what I wanted. He made me feel as if I were enough. I should have told him every inch of emotion that caused my heart to ache in his presence, should have shared how honoured I felt to be the target of his affection.
I shouldn't have been so terrified to say such things.
***
"How are you settling in?"
I was leant against the open doorway of the room that had been assigned to Riley. Like mine it was fairly small and simple. The boy hadn't unpacked, a small satchel of his belongings still tied and sat on the foot of his bed. Riley was sat rather stiffly on the edge of the bed, feet firmly planted on the floor as he stared blankly at the bare wall ahead of him.
He shrugged once at my question, lowering his head towards the floor.
A female wolf had been sat with him in his room when I arrived, watching over him like a damn prison guard. The idea that he might run off was ridiculous. He wouldn't even know where to run. The two of them had been sitting in complete silence, Riley looking entirely too uncomfortable in her presence. I had taken one look at him and dismissed her, ensuring I would watch over him instead. She'd seem relieved and thankfully didn't argue with me.
"Do you want to go for a walk? Explore the grounds a bit?"
That had helped me adjust to the new pack. I found it easier to exist amongst new wolves if I knew the land, if only so I was reassured in knowing where to retreat should I be uncomfortable in others company - as I often had been when I still lived in Idaho and wished to escape the prying eyes and personal questions from other wolves.
Riley nodded meekly and I beamed at him in an attempt to make him feel more relaxed in my presence. It worked - somewhat. He eyed the smile on my face slightly and stood to his feet, the tension in his thin shoulders lessening ever so slightly.
"Will Alpha Harris be angry I'm outside of my room?"
"No," I assured, my heart aching for this scared pup. If Thane did have an issue, I would make sure he knew just who to aim the brunt of his anger at. Any blame for leaving the main house would fall to me, and me alone, certainly not towards this boy who had already lost so much.
Riley remained quiet for our walk. Quiet, but not unaware. I watched him assess the active training ground with a sharp eye, where Lorcan was working with a small group of official enforcers to keep their skills sharp should they ever be called into action, and I knew he was aware of the hunting group Sandra lead in the woods half a mile away as he gazed off through the trees in their direction.
Riley was scared, barely train, but not stupid.
He was a smart wolf, all too aware of his surroundings, and sharp. If trained properly he would make a great wolf, and hopefully a great Alpha.
We were passing through the cluster of trainee cabins when movement to our left caught Riley's attention. A wide grin broke out on the young wolf's face and before I knew what was happening he had darted away.
"Daniel! Javier! David!" Riley exclaimed, running right into the arms of the Nevada wolf I held so much distaste for. Daniel returned the affection, hugging Riley quickly before pulling back to beam down at him, and allowing his two companions their turn at greeting the younger boy.
My steps towards the four of them slowed as I eyed the interesting interaction. Riley seemed well acquainted with these wolves, and none of his previous fear or stress was currently present as he stood with them.
Daniel noticed me first, regarding me hesitantly as I approached. He didn't say anything, didn't even acknowledge me as his attention shifted back to Riley. He didn't try to hide the shock or the pain clear as day in his expression as Riley explained why he was here, and what had happened to his father at the hands of Benjamin Russo.
It felt intrusive for me to be here amongst their grief as they comforted the boy for the loss of a father and Alpha they all knew well, and regarded fondly it seemed. Even if I despised the deceased Alpha, I was not so without heart that I didn't feel for the ones who mourned him. He may have shown me no respect, may not have been the best Alpha in his final years, but he had been loved.
When we returned back to the main house there was a noticeable shift in Riley. He no longer seemed so lost. The presence of the familiar pack mates seemed to have grounded him, and brought him comfort while he was so far from home.
Later that evening, while we gathered in the kitchen with other enforcer wolves, Riley even mustered the courage to speak to Thane without flinching in his presence.
"I was hoping I could perhaps stay in the Nevada training cabin while I was here, rather the main house?" He asked, quietly and politely as he avoided the Alpha Males stare. But he spoke with confidence and didn't allow his voice to stutter. That in it's self seemed like a miracle.
"No." Thane rejected the idea firmly, not taking even a second to consider the request.
Riley looked gutted.
"Riley..." Thane sighed, "It's not that I don't want you to feel comfortable with members of your pack. It's just..." He paused, as if contemplating his words carefully, "We don't know the full extent of Benjamin Russo's betrayal against your father yet. We don't know if anyone supported his choices, and if anyone should also wish harm against you. Plus the training you're to receive will be different than theirs, more intense, and it would be more effective if you stay here with the other enforcers, where I can keep an eye on you."
"I understand," he answered dejectedly. "But I know Daniel Galaz, he was loyal to my father, and it was no secret he hated Benjamin." Still Thane didn't seem at all inclined to change his mind on the matter. "What if... could I at least have dinner with them tomorrow?"
Thane didn't answer right away, but seemed hesitant to agree, which was unsurprising. From what I knew of Daniel and his lackeys, that I had gathered from our limited interactions, they didn't seem like they would be a good influence on a young wolf training to be an Alpha responsible of an entire pack. Yet, in those brief minutes I had watched Riley interact with the three males, I believed they could be essential in settling Riley in this new environment and helping him with his grieving process.
"What if I went with him?" I offered. Daniel would no doubt hate that. I would hate it. But I could survive it if it meant helping Riley.
"You're not making the persuasive argument you think you are." Thane's dark expression shifted to me, his gaze unreadable. No, perhaps Thane didn't like the idea of me being around Daniel again so soon, considering what had happened. He was perhaps now more inclined to reject Riley's suggestion than approve it.
"You don't think I can handle myself?" I raised an eyebrow, stare unwavering. I waited to see if he would bite on the challenge I offered.
I saw his jaw clench, and knew he was smart enough to pick up on the vague comparison to my last Alpha, who indeed didn't think I could handle myself. And Thane was certainly smart enough to know that he couldn't control who I spent my time with.
"I know you can."
"Daniel won't be stupid enough to challenge me like that again. I'll be fine," I shrugged.
"And if he doesn't offer an official challenge? If he wishes to seek retribution in other ways?" Thane was almost scowling now, and I was reminded of our heated argument back in the Nevada main house. Instantly, I was thankful for the dining table that separated us. Riley certainly didn't need to see things grow so heated between us.
"If I allowed my life to be dictated by what if's I'd still be in Idaho," I snapped, crossing my arms tightly across my chest.
His scowl didn't lift but he didn't retort. The silence weighed heavy between us and I was aware that the other wolves in the room had now quietened.
It had been stupid of me to challenge the Alpha male in front of his pack. Utterly reckless. But it was too late to take back now.
"Tomorrow. You get one hour."
So I found an amazing character designing website and I couldn't resist. What do we think, Emily and Thane? (Thane's eye colour is actually darker).
Which characters shall I make next?