"Hey are you okay?" Jessie asks as she walks into the living room back from a run. I lick my lips but nod my head slightly, "Y-yeah I just want to talk to you". She furrows her eyebrows as she wipes from sweat from her face with her sleeve, "Is everything okay?" Once again I nod but this time a bit more certain as I hold out a hand for her to take, "Yeah I just really need to talk to you".
She raises an eyebrow at me but takes my hand as I gently pull her towards the couch beside me, "What do you want to talk about?" She sits down beside me sitting cross-legged facing me giving me her full attention. I feel my hands start to sweat as I wipe them on my joggers as I take a deep breath trying to calm down a bit but it does little to calm my nerves. I'm guessing Jessie sees this as she takes one of my hands in hers and starts to massage the back of my hand with her thumb, "It's okay. Just breath and take your time. I'm right here Lee".
I nod and take another deep breath , "Thanks freckles". She smiles, "It's okay. Now what did you want to tell me?" I play with her fingers and smile subconsciously when I see the ring on her finger which gives me a bit more comfort, "I've been talking to Corey...about my nightmares. And she thinks that they keep happening because I keep trying to ignore what happened and forget it happened....." Jessie licks her lips and nods along showing she understands, "Okay". I pursue my lips and let a low breath out of my lips, "Well...she thinks that it would help...if I talked to you about them...that I would finally start to come to term with what happened and they would finally stop". She nods as she eyes scan over my face, "Okay so you want to talk about it now".
I nod slowly, "Yeah I want to talk to you about it. I've been putting this off for too long. I need to deal with this. I need them to stop". Jessie nods, "Okay okay". She shuffles closer to me not letting go of my hand.
It's as if it hits me all at once. I close my eyes and take a shaky breath, "I-it starts off a-at t-the field". I try to speak again but my voice cracks, "T-then t-then". Jessie squeezes my hand, "It's okay. It's okay". I shake my head, "I need to-" but Jessie rubs my back soothingly, "Will it help if I tell you about my nightmares first?" I look her straight in the eyes and I can see how they don't have their usual sparkle. This time they're slightly dark and more reluctant. I swallow hard but nod making her give me a small watery smile, "Okay". She takes her own deep breath before looking down at our hand which are now entwined, "They would always start out with us at the pitch". I could see she was struggling herself but she swallowed it down and continued on, "It's the two of us in the middle of the field just like at the match". She chuckles a little bit as she wipes under her eyes, "And your flirting with me in the middle of the game. Just making some comments as you usually do with that small wink you always do in the middle of the match which frustrates me to no end".
I can't help but chuckle with her as she take another breath, "Then you run off after a ball leaving me to stare after you". Her smile disappears as she closes her eyes thinking about the nightmare, "Then there's a gunshot. And I turn to see him standing on the field but it's like everyone disappeared as if it's just him and me". She takes a shaky breath herself while I squeeze her hand letting her know I'm here to which she thankfully squeezes back, "H-he points the gun at me and I just stand there terrified. No matter how much I want to run I just can't. I close my eyes and I hear another gunshot. I open my eyes expecting to see me shot b-but instead I-I see you standing in front of me".
A sob breaks out as tears start to stream down her face. She tries to clean them away but they keep pouring down her cheeks. I pull her closer to me laying her legs over my own as I hold her close while her arms wrap around my neck as she hugs into my side. Her head tucked safely into the crook of my neck. "What happens next?" I ask quietly as I rub her back up and down. She take a deep breath before breathing out again as I feel her breath fan the column of my neck, "Y-you collapse in front of me as I try to catch you and I shake you trying to keep you awake. But right as you fall asleep you give me one last smile and say "I love you". I scream at you to wake up but it doesn't work".
I hear her sniffle, "It then changes to the hospital and I'm standing at the back of the room while doctors work on you. But you start to crash and I see you flat line again". She leans in closer to me as she grip on my tightens, "And right before I wake up I see the doctor telling me you didn't make it". A small few heartbreaking sobs escape from her lips as I pull her impossibly close to me as she curls into me even more. I just whisper small assurances in her ear while the sobs start to subside. She starts to sniffle while using the pad of my thumb's wipe under her eyes ridding them of any leftover tears, "I'm sorry" I mumble. She shakes her head, "It's not your fault". I incline my head slightly, "I know I'm just sorry that you had to go through that. I'm sorry you had seen that".
"It's okay. Your fine. Your still here with me" she says with a small smile. She starts to play with the hairs at the nape of my neck, "You think your ready now?" I lick my lips but nod. I take a deep breath as I run my hand up and down her leg trying to calm myself down. "It starts off with you and me" I begin. I have a faint smile on my face, "It's just you and me playing around like usual at the field. I'm chasing you around until I catch you and spin you around while you squeal and I laugh". "We start to dance in the middle of the field when I see him" I explain.
I take a shaky breath before I continue, "He has this sick wicked grin on his face before he shoots to the left and I see Christen and Tobin go down". I screw my eyes shut and try and take a deep breath to calm down but it doesn't work. Jessie realises this and scrapes her nails down the nape of my neck, "It's okay. I'm here. It's not real. Your here with me". I nod before leaning my head against hers, "He starts shooting again. It seems like he's going through the team. I could only watch as he shoots everyone on the team. Alex. Kelley. Mal. Rose. It just keeps playing over and over in repeat". I sniffle as I hold onto her tighter, "And just when I don't think it could get any worst, right before I wake up..." My voice cracks, "I see him shoot you".
As I say it, it's like I'm right back in my nightmares as I watch everything happen again. My breathing gets frantic and out of control and all the imagines of my friends and family getting shot plays over and over in my head. I try and bring my hands up to my head but they're quickly stopped by others and moved until I feel a heartbeat underneath my fingertips. I feel hands cup my face and tilt my head upwards, "Lee I need you to open your eyes". But I just shake my head as I watch as Mal gets shot through the shoulder my breathing getting even heavier. I feel air fan against my face as something presses against my forehead, "It's not real Lee. Your here with me. It's not real Elliot". But it just sounds faded and echoey as my breath hitches as I see Jessie get collapse with blood pooling out of her abdomen. "Jessie..." I cry out.
I can feel the tears streaming down my face as I see Jessie laying there motionless and pale as blood pools underneath her staining the grass beneath her. It's only when I hear a small whisper break through that I snap out of the nightmare.
"I'm here Lee. Forever and Always"
My eyes snap open to see Jessie's brown eyes staring at me concerned. She slides her thumb over my eyebrow trying to calm me down, "It's not real Lee. We're all safe. We're okay. Your okay". I nod tucking my head into her chest as she kisses my head before resting her chin on my head as we just sit there contently knowing that we had each other there. "I love you" I mutter into her chest as she runs her fingers through my hair. She kisses my head once more.
"I love you too Lee. So so much"
..............
"Ready girls?" I ask as I park the car. "Yeah!" I hear a small cheer from the back seat. "Let's rock and roll!" I laugh as we get out of the car. I get out of the car and start walking towards the field with my crutches. "You know, you don't have to wait for me" I smile as I could see her lagging behind to stay with me but the teenager just shrugged, "It's fine". I smile and shake my head as we continue onto the field.
As we make it to the sideline, Coach Cromwell was the first to spot us, "Elliot hey!" I smile, "Sup Coach". She just chuckles at me, "I'm not your coach anymore. I don't think you need to call me that". But I just shrug, "You'll always be my Coach". Cromwell smiles before looking at the teenager beside me, "And this must be Dylan". She nods with a timid smile and holds her hand out for a handshake, "Yes pleasure to meet you Coach". But Coach just returns it with a kind smile which reminds me of when I first joined the Bruins, "Likewise. I'm glad that you've decided to join us next year". Coach chuckles at the small child peeking out from behind Dylan and my leg's, "And who might this be?"
She squeaks before hiding back behind Dylan's legs and grabs my hand. I smile and pat her head giving her a small smile, "This is Juliana". Dylan smiles down at her, "She's my little sister". This makes her smile up at Dylan showing off her big toothy grin which currently has a missing tooth. I chuckle but before I could do anything else I feel arms wrap around me from behind, "What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be at PT?"
I smile as I feel her press a kiss to the back of my neck deciding to ignore the blush flushing my cheeks right now. I lean back into her slightly, "I finished up early today. Beside I had a promise I needed to keep and I was wondering if you wanted to come with us for dinner?" "Training won't finish for another hour I'm guessing" she asks but I shrug, "We'll wait".
I manoeuvre myself around with my crutches so I'm now facing her as she chuckles at me, "Hey". I smile and give her a small peck as I wrap my arms around her, "Hey Love".
Before she could say anything else I felt something tug on my shorts making us look down. I chuckle and pat her head while Jessie smiles and waves at her, "Who's this?" I smile and hold her hand, "This is Juliana". Jessie crouches down in front of her as she still hides behind my legs, "Hey Juliana". She murmurs a small "hello" as she still clutches onto my shorts. "Jules this is Jessie my girlfriend". At this she perks up a bit as she looks at Jessie, "Your the girl from Ellie's phone". Jessie looks at me but I just mouth to her, "Lockscreen". Jessie just smiles and nods, "Yeah I am". Juliana moves out from behind me slightly and inches towards her, "Your really pretty".
Jessie blushes crimson while I chuckle, "The prettiest". Jessie rolls her eyes at me but I could see the smile pulling at her lips. I wrap an arm around Dylan's shoulder's and pull her up beside me, "Jessie this is Dylan one of my kids from Future Stars I was telling you about". Jessie's mouth forms the shape of an O as she nods with a smile at the shy teenager, "Lee has told me so much about you!" Dylan tilts her head at my girlfriend as she shakes her hand looking at me confused, "She has?" Jessie chuckles, "Of course she has. Congrats by the captaincy and the scholarship by the way". She smiles at the midfielder in thanks as Juliana taps my leg, "Yeah Jules?" She scrunches her face at me, "Why did she call you Lee?" I laugh, "It's just her nickname for me. Just like how I call you Jules". She nods before smiling at her.
It's only then when I realise that coach Cromwell has called a break to practice as I see the entire team surrounding us making Juliana shrink back behind mine and Dylan's legs. "Well for those of you who don't know this is Elliot Griffin midfielder for the US women's National Team and Arsenal Women's team and she's a former player of the UCLA Bruins" Coach Cromwell tells the team. I smile at the old faces that are still here and chuckle at the younger players astonished faces. "Unfortunately I won't be able to join you guys today for obvious reason" I say lifting up my crutches, "just came to drop by show this one around and to pick up my girlfriend". Jessie blushes but grins as she pecks my cheek wrapping her arm around my waist. "You two are dating?" A new freshman asks making me, Jessie and a few of the other players laugh.
"They are like the cutest couple you will ever meet and are sickeningly adorable" Karina laughs. "Well while she's here, Elliot might answer some questions you may have about balancing soccer and school work and what comes with being a professional women's player". I shrug and smile, "Sure". They ask me a few questions which I answered to the best of my ability before Cromwell called them back for the rest of practice. Cromwell looked at Dylan, "Want to join in?" Her eyes widen as she looked at me and I smiled and nod. Dylan smiled at Coach, "Sure". Dylan jogged after the girls and fell in with Jessie who explained the drill they were doing. While I looked at Juliana, "What to help me with something?" She nods happily making me smile as well.
I messed around with Juliana on the sideline, occasionally taking breaks to watch Jessie and Dylan train. At once point, Dylan buried the ball into the top right corner of the net which make Jules cheer loudly from the sideline making Dylan smile at her little sister from the pitch. As practice came to an end, Dylan jogged over to us and frown lightly us as she gently lifted Jules off my back, "J, I don't think Ellie should be giving you piggy backs right now". Jules frowns but I shake my head, "It's okay D I said it was okay". Jessie comes up the other side of me, "Are you sure that's a good idea Lee? Your still getting use to your leg".
I grab her hand and squeeze, "It's okay Freckles. My leg is getting stronger. I asked Jules if she wanted to help me cause I thought I would try walking with a little bit more weight. I was still on my crutches. Everything is okay". She doesn't look entirely convinced but nods, "Okay as long as you don't overdo it". I kiss her temple, "I promise. Now who's ready for dinner?" "Me!" Jules jumps up making the three of us chuckle.
We drive away from the campus to a pizza parlour at the request of Jules where we get 2 large pizzas to share. Jessie chats with Dylan and Juliana and gets to know them a bit better which makes me smile. Juliana quickly warmed up to Jessie loving how she had someone to babble away to about everything she's done recently. At one point I stand up to go to the bathroom but wobble a bit but I'm just able to catch myself on the table causing it to jerk a bit. "You okay?" Jessie asks putting a hand on my back but I smile and nod, "Yeah I'm fine. Just got up a bit too quickly I guess. I'm just going to to go to the bathroom". Dylan was quick to stand up, "I'll go with you". But I shake her off, "No it's okay I'm only going to the bathroom. I'll be back in a bit". But she doesn't waver as she stands up regardless, "No I need to go too".
I share a look with Jessie who returns it before turning to Juliana, "Hey want to colour with me?" She nods happily as Jessie flips over the kids' colouring page they gave her when we sat down and the two of them started drawing and colouring together. When Dylan and I went to the bathroom I crutch up to it and try to use my shoulder to open it but once again Dylan's quick to step up, "I got it". I raised an eyebrow at the teen but said nothing. As we entered I realised that the bathroom was empty apart from us. "You know" I start as I throw a teasing smile at the teenager, "I'm a big girl. I can go to the bathroom by myself despite what you might think".
This causes her to blush and scratch the back of her arm sheepishly muttering, "I know". I give her a small comforting smile, "So what's up?" She looks down at her hands wringing out her fingers, "It's nothing". I lick my lips as I watch her, "You know Jess says I do that too much as well". She looks up but I point at her hands, "Your hands. You play with them when your nervous or hiding something. Or so Jessie tells me but she's always been able to read me like a book".
She blushes lightly and immediately stops playing with her hands as she instead leans then back against the sink counter. I sigh, "What's up Dylan? You know you can tell me anything". She sighs her shoulders slumping, "I...you got hurt". I furrow my eyebrows at her as she sighs before continuing, "We were watching the game when it happened. J didn't know what was happening. Then it was all over the news that you were hurt and we weren't able to see you-".
She takes another breath shutting her eyes closed. "Jules already lost so much" she breathes out, "and I don't think she can handle losing anyone else". She opens her eyes for me to see them start to water, "I don't think I can handle losing you. I-I don't don't want to lose you". My eyes soften as I pull her into me as she breaks down in tears. I just hold her against my chest as she sobs into my chest. I just let her get it all out of her system until she starts to sniffle her tears away.
Dylan and Juliana's mom died while giving birth to Juliana leaving them in the care of their father. Sadly after a few years it seemed like it became too much for him and he turned to the bottle. He practically drank himself to death until sadly he overdosed on sleeping pills. Dylan and Juliana were put into a temporary foster housing where sadly they didn't have a nice family looking after them. Dylan took it upon herself and got herself and Jules out of there before anything bad could happen. Dylan bounced around a while getting odd jobs for cash to help get the two of them through. Thankfully some of Dylan's teammates found out and let them stay with them. Dylan was able to lie low from child services for a while but was eventually caught when her team started making the news for their stellar season.
Thankfully Project Future Stars stepped in before anything could happen and they were the first ones indicted into the project and available housing. Dylan refused to accept unless Juliana came with her but was relieved when we fully agreed with her. I think that was part of the the reason why I was so drawn to Dylan.
She reminded me of me. Kinda. She was way stronger than me anyways.
I pull her back just enough she I can look into her eyes as I brush some of her fly aways out of her face, "I'm here Dylan. I'm okay. I can only imagine how scared you were. But I promise you I'm okay now. I'm not going anywhere anytime soon". I smile at the teenager, "You have been so strong Dylan. You have been so strong. Stronger than I was at your age. I don't think I could have ever done what you did for your sister. But you need to understand that your not alone anymore. I care about you and your sister so much. And I promise to do everything in my power to help both of you. I'm going to be around for a long while. Which your so going to regret in years to come when I get to tell embarrassing stories about you to everyone". She snorts and shakes her head which looks at me through bleary eyes, "I wouldn't have it any of way".
I smile and kiss her forehead gently before pulling her back into a hug. She returns it strongly gripping onto the back of my hoodie. I rub my hand up and down her back, "You good?" She nods into my neck a small smile gracing her face, "Yeah. I'm good". I smile and pull back from her.
"Great cause I really do have to use the bathroom now so...."
Hey guys!!! Did you really think I wasn't going to update on Christmas. On that note Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays! I hope whether you celebrate it or not you have a wonderful day and hopefully you get to spend it with the people you love. I know this year has been strange but just know that we have made it this far and we will get through this together. Also I know this chapter hadn't the most Christmasy start but it was needed for the beginning of the turn around as many of you have probably guessed. (Things are starting to look up finally!) Anyways I hope you enjoyed. Merry Christmas and until next time, bye!!!