I stared at him for a minute, trying to decide whether this was real or not. The experience suddenly felt surreal. The man who had claimed so much power over me once, now powerless behind the cold metal bars of his cell. Even if the cockiness in his voice suggested otherwise, he was a defeated man.
"You don't look so good," I start, testing the waters of how this conversation would go. He inspects my expression for a moment before letting out a chuckle.
"You're not looking too good yourself, either," he replies and I suddenly become aware of my sleep-deprived state. Damn. I should have concealed the symptoms of my nightmares better so he wouldn't have any idea how weak I had gotten.
"It's a lot of work, being Head of the Committee." I challenge. I didn't want it to be obvious that he had caused me so much mental harm. I haven't moved since he emerged from the shadows but Billingsgate walks forward, as far as the bars would allow, and wraps his hands around them, leaning his face through.
"It doesn't seem you are handling it as well as I had."
"I am handling it! Better than you did!" I snap and he smirks. He had wanted to get a reaction out of me and I gave it to him. I take a deep breath and try to calm my nerves. I was on edge but I need to be focused. I can't slip in front of him.
"How's Draco?" he asked with genuine curiosity. I smile a bit, knowing that he had no clue what had happened after he was sent to Azkaban. When he had realized Draco's memory charm had successfully erased Draco from my mind, Billingsgate laughed until he was taken away. Perhaps, knowing he succeeded in ruining our relationship is something that kept him satisfied while locked away. I dared to take a step towards him with a smile.
"He's doing well. He's right outside, actually." I watch as Billingsgate's face falls and it takes all the self-restraint I have to not laugh in his face.
"Why-?" he starts.
"Because I remembered him, Billingsgate. The memory charm didn't work all the way and I still have memories leftover. You didn't break us."
Although Billingsgate looked somewhat different than he did all those months ago, he flared his nostrils the same way he did was he was enraged and it fed my satisfaction. I don't even give him a chance to reply.
"You failed, Billingsgate. You failed at everything. You failed at enforcing your natural order. You failed at killing Draco. You failed at destroying me. Now you are here, rotting, in this tiny cell," I say and I can't help but let out a series of giggles. The more I talked, the better and more powerful I felt. Billingsgate was nothing like the man from my nightmares anymore. He was wasting away. He couldn't hurt me. Even if he had a wand, I couldn't fear him anymore. How could I when I had survived him? How could I when he would always be here, paying for what he had done?
I watch as Billingsgate's knuckles turn white as he clutches onto the bars and I wait. I wait for any insult or challenge he might throw at me but all he does is open his mouth and let out a series of screams. I watch as the deteriorating man acted like a caged animal.
"You fool. You cursed mudblood! Do you really think I am the last wizard who thinks as I do? You're wrong! Another like me will come, just you wait! There will always be more like me! There will be another to restore the natural order!" he screams.
As I listen to him scream it's as if I can see the nightmare version of him fading away into nothingness. I closed my eyes, savoring the peace that came with its absence, and when I opened them I realized it was silent. Billingsgate had screamed all he could, used up all the energy he had, and just stared at me. I could read in his face that he was shocked by my calmness. I walked even closer now, just outside an arm's reach from him.
"There might always be someone like you, Billingsgate. But then that means there will always be someone like me. Someone who wins in the end." As I finish my words his arm shoots out from his cell and the tips of his fingers almost graze my face. I don't give him the satisfaction of flinching. I smile as I turn around, making my way back out into the open. I pause right in front of the doorway, placing a hand on the arched stone, and turn to look at him one last time.
"Do you regret it at all? Do you regret it even a little bit? Knowing that everything you did ended up with you here?" I ask but he just stares at me with an empty expression. I suppose it doesn't matter whether he regrets it or not, it wouldn't change anything. I take one last step to leave the room when I hear him start to shout at me again, but I have no desire to listen anymore. Once I leave the room, the sound of the crashing ocean and strong winds comes back. Billingsgate's voice is concealed by the spell surrounding his cell.
Draco looks at me with wide eyes and I grab his hand to reassure him that I'm okay.
"He's so much different than I remember," I say, "He looks so small and weak." Draco's eyes immediately lose their worry and he chuckles.
"Did this help?" he asks while tucking a strand of my wind-blown hair behind my ear.
"I think so. I feel... better," I admit.
"Alright, you two, let's get going back now," the Auror behind us says but Draco quickly glances over at the room.
"Wait. I think I need a moment, too," he says and he looks into my eyes as if for permission. I realize then that Billingsgate might have affected him as much as Billingsgate had affected me. Draco had lost his free will to him, had been forced to hurt me because of him. Billingsgate had left a scar in Draco's life as much as he did mine. I nod at him with a smile and watch him disappear through the doorway.
It only takes a few minutes before Draco emerges again with a smug look on his face.
"Ok, we're ready now," he tells the Auror and immediately walks beside me, putting his arm around my waist. I lean into him but curiosity is getting the better of me.
"Why do you look so happy?" I ask teasingly and he grins at me.
"I was just reminded that, after everything, I still have you," he replies, squeezing my side playfully. I laugh but the thought lifts my mood, too. We follow the Auror back to the portkey as if months of stress and worry have been erased.
_
Once we are standing in the middle of Shacklebolt's office again, I realize how wet we actually were. Draco's hair was dripping onto his forehead and there was a sparkling layer of water all over his face. He combs his hair through his fingers, trying to push it away from his eyes but it falls back uselessly over his forehead. I giggle at his efforts and his eyes dart to me mischievously.
"Oh, is this funny to you, Y/L/N?" he says, taking slow steps over to me.
"Just a bit," I tease but before I can react he quickly grabs onto me and pulls me into him. He shakes his head back and forth so the water from his hair sprays onto my face.
"Draco!" I laugh but I don't make any effort to pull away from him. When he stops, he's laughing too.
We stand there for a moment, still holding onto each other when our laughter slowly stops and we're staring into each other's eyes. He's still smiling at me and I see something in his eyes, something that looks like love. His expression changes slightly, his eyes soften and he parts his lips just a bit before starting to lean his face closer to mine. At first, I long for him to kiss me and feel myself leaning towards him too, but my nightmare flashes back into my mind. Billingsgate wasn't the only one there, Draco was too. A vivid picture of Draco's vacant eyes and pained expression is stuck in my mind and involuntarily jerk back away from Draco.
The worry that had once been absent from his face suddenly floods back and he furrows his eyebrows.
"Y/N, are you okay?" he asks but I struggle to respond. How am I supposed to explain that my subconscious was terrified of him, or at least some part of him? Before I can think of anything to respond the door opens and Shacklebolt walks in, pausing when he sees Draco and I so close together. I step back out of Draco's arms and his arms fall to his side, his worried eyes refusing to leave me.
"Making a mess of my office?" Shacklebolt asks playfully, diffusing the awkward tension in the room. I realize how it must look, Draco and I both soaking wet in the middle of his office, and I smile sheepishly.
"Azkaban is very... wet," I reply and he nods, glancing over at Draco, noticing his expression, and turns back to me.
"Well, the Hot Air charm can fix you both right up," he says, walking back over to his desk, brushing off a few stray droplets.
"I'm sorry I kept you out of your office for so long," I say, still feeling embarrassed about the whole situation. He just looks up and chuckles.
"It's alright. It actually gave me an excuse to take a lunch break," he says and I giggle. I turn to Draco and he has his wand out, drying his hair and clothes. When he's done he smiles welcomingly at me and I walk over, outstretching my arms so he can dry me too. He takes his time, making sure every inch of my clothing is completely dry, and brushes my hair out with his fingers when he directs the air there. I smile at him appreciatively but I can see the question he asked me before is still on his mind. He's not going to forget how I reacted when he tried to kiss me.
Not even a second after I'm dried the door suddenly bursts open and John Robinson is standing with wide eyes in the doorway. Shacklebolt is immediately taken aback by the entrance and stands up from his chair, preparing himself for anything.
"Malfoy. Lucius and Narcissa..." Robinson starts, stuttering and I look over at Draco, "They're here and he's... Lucius is demanding to speak with you." Right as he finished speaking, the end of a cane slides across the door and pushes it wider. Robinson stumbles over and reveals Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy, standing in the doorway.
Lucius looked much older since the last time I've seen him. The last time all those years ago on Platform 9 3/4. His skin was wrinkled and his hair greyer than it's original white-blond hair. His eyes were the only thing that had remained unchanged. They were a striking silver, like Draco's. No matter how cruel Lucius had been to me when I was a child, I couldn't help but see Draco in him and all the similar features they shared.
Lucius looked stoic next to Narcissa who herself seems frantic, her eyes darting around the room until they land on Draco.
"Mum?" Draco says, immediately rushing to her side. Narcissa had seemed oblivious to my presence but Lucius shot me a suspicious look, making me wonder if he remembered who I was, before turning back to Shacklebolt.
"We need protection," Lucius demanded. There was a quiet moment in the room before anyone responded. Shacklebolt sighed, folding his hands over his desk, and looked up at Lucius.
"And for what reason do you need protection?" he asked. I glanced between everyone in the room. Lucius and Shacklebolt having a silent battle, no doubt over their differences in the last war, Narcissa clinging to Draco who looked genuinely worried for his mother. I paid closer attention to Narcissa and noticed that she was shaking violently. She was visibly shaken by something and I can't help but feel worried for her, too, despite her past allegiences.
"My wife and I were attacked in our home," Lucius admits, trying to hold onto any pride he could. Draco looks over and we make eye contact, sharing a thought between us. He must have come to the same conclusion as I did.
"I suggest you put some protective charms over the manor," Shacklebolt replies, and I see Lucius's fist clench over the end of his cane.
"You don't understand, they tried to murder us. It's lucky we were able to escape with our lives. They used the Unforgivable Curses!"
"It sounds like quite a dangerous ordeal but why should the Ministry extend protection to you, Lucius?" Shacklebolt asked bitterly. Lucius puffed up his chest as best he could, he looked enraged now.
"The attack was highly coordinated and planned. This will not be the last time we are attacked and I... fear next time we might not be so lucky," he says, glancing quickly at Narcissa before turning back to Shacklebolt.
"I'm afraid there's nothing we can do. There's no evidence to suggest that the attack was planned nor is there evidence that it will be attempted again. Like I said, cast some protective charms-" Shackelbolt begins but Lucius interrupts him.
"It is your duty to protect us!" Lucius growls and Shacklebolt stands up from his desk, leaning slightly over it to stare eye-to-eye with Lucius.
"Don't tell me of my duties, Lucius, I know them well. And you have quite the audacity to burst into my office and demand my protection. Don't think I've forgotten where your loyalties lied when it mattered most!" Shacklebolt yelled. I noticed Draco flinch at the reminder of his past and I couldn't help but feel a little sympathy. Shacklebolt and Lucius stared at each other and the tension in the room was thick enough to cut with a knife.
I thought about the attack. Some people have tried to kill Narcissa and Lucius Malfoy, Draco's mother and father. The use of Unforgiveable curses wasn't unheard of but it was too similar to when Draco and I had been attacked all that time ago. The cause of the final part of my nightmare. No matter how I felt about Lucius and Narcissa, and no matter how they felt about me, a muggleborn, they were Draco's parents. And the Manor had to be safe because it was where Draco lived, too.
"Shacklebolt?" I speak up and immediately everyone's eyes turn to me. Even Robinson, who had been silently standing in the back of the room, turned to look at me with his mouth opened in suspense.
"I think this could be connected to the attack on me and Draco earlier this year. The Anti-Purebloods," I say and watch as Narcissa immediately turns to look up at Draco with worry, putting her hand on the side of his face. Did his parents not know what happened?
"Excuse me? Anti-Purebloods? What nonsense is that?" Lucius sputters out in complete disbelief.
"It's most likely an ugly symptom of your pureblood supremacy, Lucius," Shacklebolt angrily answers Lucius before turning to me, "But do you really think it could be that, Y/N? Before your case, attacks like that were unheard of."
"So this has happened before? To my own son?" Lucius asked, outraged, but everyone ignored him for the moment.
"I do think so. It sounds too alike." I reply and Shacklebolt frowns, deep in thought.
"Draco, why didn't you tell us you had been attacked?" I heard Narcissa whisper to Draco but he doesn't answer her.
"Shacklebolt, I can be responsible for my family's safety," Draco suggests and Lucius turns back to look at his son in anger. I know what Draco was doing, assuming responsibility for the family because he feels guilty about the past. I know he feels like he doesn't deserve any protection because of what he did and it makes me want to go over and hug him in front of everyone in the room. Shacklebolt takes a moment to think before sighing and shaking his head.
"No. If what your father says is true and even if there's a possibility that it could be connected to a larger plot by anti-purebloods then you and your parents won't stand a chance against them. You will be outnumbered," he pauses to think again, "I could talk to the Aurors and see what we can do about having posts set up around the Manor grounds." Shacklebolt looks up at Lucius's reaction but Lucius doesn't reply. Not even a thank you. Shacklebolt scoffs but looks back over to Draco and extends a hand. Draco takes it with a polite smile, ignoring the betrayed look on his father's face.
"Thank you. My family and I are grateful for your help," Draco says, speaking for his parents.
"Of course, Malfoy. You're one of us, and we take care of our own." Shacklebolt replies, before shooting one last glare at Lucius.
"I still suggest putting protective charms over your home and wait for me to send word there," Shacklebolt tells the Malfoys then turns to me, "And I would like to speak with you for a moment, Y/N, if you have time."
"Of course," I reply and turn to Draco so I can smile at him before he leaves. But to my surprise, he walks straight up to me, puts his arm around my waist, and kisses my cheek. In front of his parents.
"I'll stop by tonight, okay?" he says, and I nod, still dazed by his open act of affection in front of his parents. His parents. Who dislike muggleborns. I didn't dare take a peek at them but it was almost as if I could feel Lucius's eyes burn holes into me. Draco leads his mother out of the office and his father reluctantly follows. Robinson follows after them, waiting a bit to avoid Lucius, and closes the door behind him leaving Shacklebolt and me alone.
"I want to know more about the attack you endured from the anti-purebloods. If this is another large-scale threat, I need to be on top of it this time. I don't want to lose any more people," he tells me, gesturing to the chair in front of his desk. I take a seat and try to shake the nervousness I felt over Draco's parents knowing about us. I'm sure he never announced a relationship to them but surely they figured it out now that he kissed my cheek in front of them!
"Well, I can't remember any faces but there were... six people. Six men, I believe," I start, concentrating on remembering the few details I was able to piece together over the months, "They were angry about the muggleborn killings. They referred to the Malfoy's as war criminals."
"And why would they have attacked you, a muggleborn?"
"They think of me as a traitor," I reply and I shudder when the memory of that day and my nightmare fuse into one. Shacklebolt notices my reaction and furrows his eyebrows.
"I'm sorry to make you recall this information, Y/N. I just needed to know if this is something that could affect others. And from what you're telling me, it sounds like it will. They claim to be anti-pureblood but will attack anyone who associates with them. That's very common now, for muggleborns and purebloods to work together. They've been working together better than they ever had in the past!" he says, sounding frustrated. I could only imagine how it must look, as the Minister, to have so many crises in such little time. It seems so unlikely to have an anti-muggleborn and an anti-pureblood issue directly after.
"If we keep an eye out I'm sure everything will be okay. Besides, it's only six men," I tell him reassuringly and he looks up, smiling appreciatively.
"So it is. Anyway, I'll send a message to your level that you won't be coming in today," I try to interrupt and insist that I'm okay but he continues, "I can tell that the visit to Azkaban lifted your spirits but I'd feel much better if you rest. Just for today, of course." He winks and I can't deny the feeling of relief that washes over me. It's not back to just miss one day, after all.
"Thank you," I say, and leave the office. As I close the door behind me I notice the Junior Assistant, Robinson, eyeing me hesitantly. I remember how I had treated him earlier today and feel guilty. I walk over to his desk and he looks away, playing off that he ever looked at me in the first place.
"Hello," I say and he looks back up at me, pretending to be surprised at me talking to him, "I just want to apologize about earlier. I didn't mean to yell at you." First, Robinson looks shocked then his face explodes into a huge grin.
"Oh. Wow. No one ever apologizes to me. Don't worry about it!" He says. I stifle a giggle and actually feel a little sympathy for the kid.
"Okay, well, I guess I'll see you around," I say and he waves as I walk away.
Once I pass my level a new wave of relief washes through me. I'd been neglecting myself recently but now I could relax with my small sense of newfound peace. I smiled to myself, knowing that now I could just look forward to seeing Draco tonight.