Chapter 12
“Max and Zach! Time to get up!” Yelled Cheryl. I sighed and turned over. Zach Turns over against me and put his hand over me. “Come on let’s go.” Demanded Cheryl. I start to get up and Zach pulls me back down. “We have to get up.” I said and he kissed me. “Fine.” He responded. I get up and head into the bathroom. Hopefully today is a better day. I thought while brushing my teeth. Zach comes in and starts brushing his teeth too. “This bathroom is occupied.” I laughed. “Not anymore.” He smiled. “Do you want to go to a movie tonight?” He asked. “Yeah, let’s do it.” I said and smiled. “Oh…well we can do it too.” Zach responds while laughing. “Not what I meant.” I smiled. I finish up in the bathroom and head into the room to change my clothes. “I don’t feel like going to school today.” Said Zach. He says while grabbing onto my waist. “Me neither but we have too.” I responded. I hold onto his arm. He lets go and we grab our stuff and head downstairs to sit at the table. “Don’t forget about our meeting this morning Max.” Said Cheryl. “I won’t.” I responded. “Let’s go.” Said Zach. I nodded my head and we grabbed our stuff and head out to the car. “What movie are we going to see?” I asked. “That’s for you to find out.” He laughed. “How do you know what movies I like?” I asked. “Well, you’re a boring person so boring movies.” He winked. “Is it a scary movie?” I asked. “Yes.” He smiled. “I know what it is then.” I smiled back. “What is it?” He asked. “That is for you to find out when I act surprised.” I started to laugh. Oh that’s just rude. He said. I know. I smiled. We make it to the school and head inside. Zach walks over to my locker with me. “I’ll see you second period ok?” He said and kissed me. He walks away. “Hey fag, how you doing?” Asked Andrew and Alyssa. “What do you want?” I asked. “What we want is for you to leave this town. I mean no one likes gays here. Go somewhere where there are plenty of them.” Demanded Alyssa. “Well sorry, I’m not leaving. If you want me to leave, you are going to have to kill me first. And that is so unlikely. So if you don’t mind, I have to go.” I pointed out. “We will do what ever it takes queer.” Said Andrew. I shut my locker and head down to Cheryl’s office. “Hey sweetie. Just sit down I’ll be with you in a sec.” She says. I sit down and wait until she gets off of the phone. “Ok, so how are you.” She asks while hanging up the phone. “I’m good.” I responded. “Are you really? Or are you just saying that?” She asked again. “I’m fine. Believe it or not. I am.” I responded. “Good. How are you and Zach doing?” “We are doing well.” I smiled. “You changed him. He is like a totally different person. I guess you brought out the best in him.” She smiled back. “He said he loved me last night.” I say awkwardly. “Really? He doesn’t even say that to his parents.” She starts to laugh. I smile. “I can tell you like him. You've changed to.” She said. “Really?” I ask. “Yes, you became such a different person. You actually stick up for yourself now.” She responds. “Can you submit my application to North Carolina?” I asked. Cheryl smiles big. “What made you change your mind?” She asked. “Zach kind of talked me into it.” I responded. “He’s good talking people into something.” She frowns. “I’ll submit that right now.” She added. “You already filled it out?” I asked. “Yeah, I was just waiting for your approval.” “You and Zach are so much alike.” I started to laugh. “Are you ever going to see your dad?” She asked. “I doubt it. I don’t even want to talk to him nor see him. He has done things that are unbelievable. That I can’t even wrap my head around. He killed my grandparents. He is crazy. And the most important thing is he doesn’t care about me or Cassie. Probably not mom either.” I pointed out. “The only way you are going to cope with your anger is to talk to your father. He is sober now. It’s been two days so I bet it is out of his system. Go tomorrow if you like. Because I know you and Zach has plans for tonight so tomorrow, you need to go talk. That’s the only way. Face your problems then you’ll be happy that you did.” She demands. “Well, I’m not ready yet. I mean I’ll think about it but it’s no guarantee.” I respond. “Think hard about it. You need to do this Max.” She says. “Ok. I’ll think hard about it.” I frown sarcastically. The bell rings and I grab my stuff. “Have a good day.” She says. I walk out and head to trig. People are still staring. They act like I have killed someone. I just rolled my eyes and walked into the class and sit down. I seriously hate math so much. I don’t know how I have passed all these years. This is the only class I suck at. Which is hard to see but I suck at it. “Is everything ok?” Asked Zach. “Yeah. I’m good.” I responded. “No you are not. Come with me.” He grabs my hand and pulls me out of the class. “Where are we going?” I asked loudly. He ignores me and we walk into the locker room. “What are we doing?” I asked again. “Now, tell me what’s wrong.” He demanded. “Nothing is wrong.” I said again. “I know when something is bothering you.” He responded. I sighed. “Fine, truth is I have to go see my dad and talk to him but I don’t know if I can. Because all of those years of suffering and trying to protect my sister I just want to kill him. He lied to me, he beat me, he has done things that are so unbearable that you couldn’t imagine….. I start to cry… But if it takes talking to him to get my anger out then I have too. But I can’t stand to look at him. I just can’t deal with seeing him. I don’t see him as my father. A father wouldn’t do that. All I wanted was him to stop but he never did. He kept drinking and drinking and drinking more and more every single day. Morning and night. You know, some nights I cry myself to sleep? Some nights I didn’t sleep at all. Some days I didn’t go to school because I was too sore to get up from getting beat. Some days I stay up for three days straight. Sometimes I thought about giving up. But then I thought, what was the point? Why should I go? I had to protect my sister, I had a future to live, a family to have, a husband, a house in the city, a dog, if I would have killed myself I would never have none of that. There were some days that I tried to kill myself. But it didn’t work. I guess it wasn’t my time. He put me through hell and back. I just don’t know if I can go and face him.” I said. Zach starts to get tears in his eyes. “Babe, the only way to face your anger and get it all out is to go see him. If you don’t you are just going to break down again and end up hurting your self and I can’t loose you. I know your dad put you through hell but you have to face him. Tell him what he did to you, your sister and your mother. Tell him and get it through his head and make him feel sorry. He is going to pay for what he did. That’s why he is in jail. He is paying for what he did to you. If you need me to come with you then I will. If you want to go alone that is ok too.” He says and grabs my hand. “Max, I love you and I can’t see you to hurt. If someone hurts you they are going to pay for it. It just happens your father is in jail so I can’t do that.” He added. I wiped my tears off of my face. “God! See what you are dating? You are dating an emotional roller coaster.” I say and wipe my tears again. He reaches his hands over and turns my face over to his. He starts to kiss me. Then my tears fade away. “I love you. Even if you cry. And to be honest you are an ugly crier.” He smiled. “Shut up.” I laughed and shove his shoulder. He holds my face into his palms and uses his thumbs to wipe the rest of my tears. “You are really an ugly crier.” He started to laugh. “Stop!” I said. “Are we going to stay in here for the rest of second period?” I asked. “Well yeah, once you skip you can’t go back and walk in and say “Hi sorry but we skipped but we decided to come back”. He started to laugh. I look down and see that we have twenty minutes left until second period ends. “What are we going to do for the rest of……?” I start to say and he kisses me. “Well that answers my question.” I mumble while kissing him. He starts to laugh. We’ve made out for seven minutes straight then we hear the door open. Then the sound of heels starts clicking. “What are you guys doing in here?” Asked Cheryl. I and Zach look at each other. “Something was bothering him mom. So I went somewhere private and so we can talk.” Zach responded. “Like what?” She asked and crossed her arms. “About my dad and about going to see him tomorrow.” I reply before Zach opens his mouth. “Alright, but I’m not saving your butts next time so stay here until the bell rings then head to your third period. Ok?” She asked. “Go it mom.” Zach replies. She walks out and I and Zach start to laugh. “You know one day she is going to catch us making out?” I informed. “I know.” He winked and started to kiss me. I try to get up but he lifts me up in his arms. I wrap my legs around his waist and he pushes me against the wall. His hand grabs my ass and he squeezes it. “Ding Ding Ding.” The bell ranged. “Let’s go.” I demanded. I push him away from kissing me. He sighed and grabbed my hand. We walked out of the locker room and headed to Chemistry.
The school day ends and I walk to my locker to put my books away. I’m glad I don’t have homework. I thought. I walk outside and head to my car. Every single time Zach leans against my car like that turns me on. It’s not his car though, he can’t act cool around it and act like it is his. “I want to go run before the movie tonight.” He shouted. “Running? Me running?” I start to laugh. “Come on. Don’t be a wimp.” He looked at me with a crooked eye. “Wimp? Oh you are so on.” I responded. “Good, let’s go home and change then.” He laughs. I start up the car and drive off. “You know I’m going to beat you right?” I asked. He starts to laugh. We make it to the house and head upstairs. “Let’s run at the graveyard. It’s big and the first one to make it on the opposite entrance wins.” He says while changing his clothes. “Deal.” I responded. We head back into the car and head to the graveyard. “What’s the deal if I win or you win?” I asked. “If I win I get to do what ever I want to you, if you win, you get to do what ever you want to me.” Zach responds while grinning. “Deal baby.” I start to laugh. We get to the graveyard and line up that the entrance. “Get ready to lose.” I laugh. “Oh please, you are going to lose badly.” He smiles in concede. “Ready, set, go!” Zach yells. We begin to run. “You know you have to start slow to go faster. It’s all science.” I smile. “Shut up!” He yells back. I cut through a different path and I remember coming here when I thought my mom died. I used to go through this path all the time. It’s a lot faster. I kept getting faster and faster and finally made it to the opposite entrance. It happens to be I’m first. About a minute later Zach arrives. “How’d you beat me?!” He asked. “I’m faster than you. How many times I got to tell you?” I started to laugh. “Fine, lets go home, take a shower and head to the movie.” Zach says while walking back to the car. “Don’t be upset that you lost baby. We all know you can’t run faster than me.” I smiled. “Shut up.” He starts to laugh. We got back into the car and head home. “What are you even going to do to me?” He asked. “I can show you better then I can tell you.” I winked. “Don’t quote from a movie.” He started to laugh. I laugh and say, “You are just going have to find out when it happens.” I smile. We pull into the driveway and he walks inside. “Hello? Anyone home?” Yelled Zach. “No one is home.” Zach Winks to me. “That’s nice.” I start to giggle. We head upstairs and head into the bedroom. “You can take your shower first.” I tell Zach. “Alright.” He responded. He grabs his towel and heads into the bathroom. I can hear the shower run and I begin to wonder if I should go in there. I mean we made a bet and I won. I just want to get him where he is least expecting it. And I think this is my chance. I strip down and sneak into the bathroom. I open the door slowly where the door hinges don’t squeak. Then I open the shower door. “What are you doing?!” He asked. “Our deal.” I responded. He laughs and pulls me into the shower. He begins to kiss my neck and pushes me against the wall. I run my fingers through his hair and I begin to moan. I lean my head to the side so he can kiss my neck some more. His lips are so soft and I can feel the water against my neck and his lips. He began to kiss my lips and the softness of his lips against mine, the water makes them glide together like they are meant to be together. He glides his hands down my back and squeezes me ass. I turn off the shower and pull him into his bedroom. He turns me around and pushes me on the bed. I reach up and pull him down to start kissing him. He pulls my lip with his teeth and I let out a small moan. “Hey guys…” Cheryl says while opening the door. Zach jumps off of me and I cover up. “OH. Um, yeah.” She says awkwardly and shuts the door. Me and Zach look at each other and start laughing. “That was so embarrassing.” I laughed harder. “Ok, let’s get dressed and go to that movie.” Zach laughs and heads to his closet. “I don’t want to go downstairs. Because now it’s going to be awkward.” I sigh. “Let’s go.” He says while pulling me down the stairs. “No, don’t! I don’t want to!” I try pulling back. “Hey mom we are going to the movie.” Zach yells. Right when he reaches for the door, “Not so fast.” Cheryl says while crossing her arms. I and Zach slowly turn around. My face starts to turn red. “Next time you guys do that, make sure no one is home. And the door is locked.” “We didn’t do anything. We just happened to take a shower together and we got out and started kissing on the bed….Naked…” I respond. “Oh, then that’s good.” She says in relief. “Can we go now?” Zach asked. “Yes, go have fun. Be home by 10.” Cheryl says and walks away. I started to laugh when walked out. “Stop laughing.” He says seriously. Then starts to laugh. We get into the car and head to the movies. He reaches over and grabs my hand. And I start to smile. “You have a cute smile.” He says. “You don’t though.” I start to laugh. He pulls his hand away. “No! I’m kidding! Baby come back!” I yelled. He started to laugh and grabbed my hand.
We arrived at the movie theater and there aren’t many cars. Probably because it is a weekday instead of a weekend. “What move are we seeing?” I asked. “The Pyramid.” Replied Zach. “That scary movie?” I asked again. “Yes.” He smiled. Of course he will take me to a scary movie. That’s a perfect date where someone gets scared and the other person holds them. I thought. “Two tickets to the pyramid please.” Zach says. “Here you go.” Said the ticket man. We grabbed out tickets and head over to the area for snacks. Oh my god, I am so getting sour patch kids. I started to laugh in my head. We grab our stuff and head to the door that says door 8. I hope this movie isn’t too scary. I thought. “Where do you want to sit?” He asked. “The very top.” I responded. We walked up the stairs and head to the top. I always hate the long commercial advertisements before the movie starts. It’s so overrated. “Just so you know, I’m not getting scared.” I smiled. “You get scared at a lot of things babe.” He smiles back. That is so not true. I shake my head. The movie began to start and I lean over against Zach. He smiles and wraps his arm around me. My eyes start to close but I try to force them open. Then I soon fell asleep.
“Hey, wake up.” Zach said. “Oh my god, I didn’t fall asleep did I?” I asked. “You so did.” Zach started to laugh. “I’m so sorry.” I said. “What can I say, I have a comfortable shoulder.” He winked. I start to laugh. We drove home and I stayed sitting in the car. “What are you doing?” He asked. “I can’t go in there. It’s awkward.” I sighed. “Seriously? Come on, grow some balls.” He said and reached for me in the car. “I don’t need to grow any balls. I already have them.” I say and smack his hand away. “Then act like it.” He says fiercely. He reaches for my hand and pulls me out of the car. He pulls me inside. “How was the movie?” Asked Cheryl “Max fell asleep.” Zach responds. Everyone started laughing in the living room. “That is not funny!” I say and cross my arms. I turn around and walked up the stairs. I flop onto the bed and just stared at the ceiling. I began thinking about going to see my dad tomorrow. I’m having doubts and wondering why I should go. He doesn’t deserve to see me. But then again I need to get this off of my chest. Zach walks into the room and flops onto the bed. “Something is bothering you.” Zach pointed out. “It’s just about tomorrow, wondering if I should go or not. I know I have to get it off my chest but I just don’t know.” I responded. “We don’t have school tomorrow so I can go with you.” Zach says. “No, thank you though. But I have to do this alone.” I turn over and lay my head on his chest. He leans his head down and kisses my forehead. “Everything will be ok. You’ll be glad you did this after it is done we will go out. Ok?” He informed. “I guess.” I mumble. I lay there until I fell asleep. I’m just too scared for tomorrow. I don’t know what is going to happen.
I open my eyes and see Zach sleeping. He is such a cute sleeper. I just stare at him and watch him sleep until he awakens. He opens his eyes and smiles. “Good morning.” I say. “Good morning babe.” He responded. “What time is it?” He added. “I honestly have no clue.” I responded and looked over at the clock. “It is 9:54 A.M.” I added. “What time are you going to see your dad?” Zach asked. “Whenever I get up and get ready.” I frown. He scoots over and lays his head against mine. “Make it soon because after you get back we are going out.” He says and kisses me. “You have morning breath.” I laugh. “That is just rude.” He starts to laugh. “I’m going to go get ready.” I said and got up. “Don’t leave yet.” He demands and pulls me back down. “I have too. You even said so you’re self.” I responded. He reached over and started to kiss my neck and I started to laugh. “Ok! Ok! I have to go!” I laugh some more. “Fine but this is not over.” He smiles. “It’s over when I say it is over.” I said in amusement. I got up and head into the bathroom. “Hi Max.” Smiled Maya. “Hey.” I smiled back. “Where are you going?” She asked. “I have to be somewhere.” I responded. “Like where?” She asked. “Somewhere where it is too complicated and overrated.” I replied. “Oh.” She smiled and walked out of the bathroom. I walked back into the bedroom and see Zach fell back too sleep. I changed my clothes and grabbed my phone off the charge. “I’m leaving. I’ll be back later. Love you.” I whisper into his ear and kissed his forehead. I walked down the stairs and grabbed my keys off the hook. “Are you going to see your dad?” asked Cheryl. “Yeah.” I responded. “Good luck, if you need anything just call.” Yelled Charles from the kitchen. “Bye.” I say and walk out the door. I start up the car and head out. I can’t believe this is going to happen. I began to get more nervous and scared the closer I got to the prison. I know what I have to do, and this is what I need to do. I thought. Everything will be ok, everything will be ok, and everything will be ok. I kept saying to myself. I arrive to the gate of the prison and I just stared at the prison. “License please and who are you seeing?” Asked the prison gate guard. I pull my license out of my wallet and handed them to the guard. “I’m seeing my father, Walter Carters.” “Alright here you go, follow the path to the front entrance. And when you walk into the door, there will be a sign- in sheet and a guard behind the glass door. She will tell you the rest from there. Have a nice day.” He says. I drive up the path and parked. I sat in my car and just started to freak out. Breathe in, breathe out. I kept saying. I got out of the car and head inside. I walked over to the sign in sheet. “Name, date, License and the person whom you are seeing.” The guard demanded. I handed her my license and filled out the rest on the sheet. “Ok, here is your visitors pass. Take a seat and we will call you when you can go back.” She says. I smile and sit over in the corner. People just stare at me. I guess because I’m young and they are old. I have no clue. I wondered. I laid my head back against the wall waiting. I waited for a half hour and they finally called my name. “Maxwell Carters.” Yelled the lady that opened the door. I got up and walked towards her. “Follow me.” She demands. People are so mean here. Dear god. They keep an angry look on their face like they are ready to kill. I guess you have to if you are a prison guard. “Go and sit at row c. please. Do not touch the glass nor try to break the glass. Don’t try and steal the phone or break it to break the glass. Understood?” She informed. I nodded and walked over to sit down. I wait for about five minutes and see my dad walk out. He sits down and stares at me then picks up the phone. “What the hell are you doing here?” Asked dad. I crunch my teeth together. “I came too see you.” I responded. “Yeah right, what do you really want? I don’t have time for your self pity just like your mother.” He says in anguish. “I came here to get something off my chest…… You may be my father by blood, but you are not my father by heart. I tried to stop you from drinking because you was a complete bastard when you drunk. You abused me. All the time. Somedays I couldn’t even sleep nor move because of what you did. You think it is alright to him me. But it is not. Defiantly when you hit Cassie the first time, she was scared out of her complete mind. I promised her nothing will never happen again and to not be scared. That promise broke when you had me and her tied up. No wonder mom faked her death to get away from you because you are crazy. You killed her parents, you threatened Cheryl to stay away from her, and you assault people, who knows what else you have done. A father wouldn’t do such a thing to their child or their family. And some how you think it is ok to do so. Wrong answer Walter. If you even think that is true you need a reality check…..” “Shut up!” He interrupted. “Oh, I’m not done yet. You are a worthless piece of crap and I hope you rot in prison. In matter of fact, I hope you rot in hell because you have no one. All you had left was Cassie. You ruined that with her. Now she doesn’t want anything to do with you. So I hope you are happy you crazy bastard. Have fun in prison.” I began to finish. “Shut up. You think I wanted kids? I just wanted your mom, all to myself. Then you worthless craps came along and ruined everything. I and your mom were happy. Then you kids ruined every single thing we had. No one loves you kids. Your mother didn’t even want you. She was going to put you up for adoption then her parents made her change her mind. That’s when I killed them. Then years later your sister came. And your mom put all her attention to her and you and forgot about me. You guys ruined us! We were in love!” He shouted. “Quiet down!” Yelled the guard. “Mom loves us, more then what you even can imagine. More then she loves you. She never loved you. You forced her to love you, you forced her to have sex, and you forced her to do everything. You beat her and everything else. Why you think she faked her death? Because of us? Please she wanted away from you. Far away as possible. Your parents didn’t even want you Walter, what makes you think we do?” I smile. He rips off the phone cable and starts pounding the glass. I scoot back in my chair and the guard pulls me away along with him. “I’m going to kill you!” He shouted. “You’re dead to me.” I shout back. “Why did you provoke him?” Asked the guard. “Sorry, I had to get that off my chest.” “I’ll take it from here.” Says the lady in the suit. She smiles at the guard and turns to me. “Hi, I’m Alice Gofers I’m the attorney going against your father.” She says and puts out her hand. “He is not my father.” I say while shaking her hand. “Here follow me and we will go talk.” She walks down the hall with a guard in front of her and one behind me. This prison has a lot of security. The guard opens a door into a room with a table and chairs. “After you.” She says. I walk in and she walks towards the table. “Please sit. Do you want anything? Coffee? Water? Food?” She asked. “No thanks.” I respond while taking a seat. “Let’s get down to business. Your father killed 7 people, assaulted 12 people, raped 3 and he got away with it. He also got away with abusing you, your sister and your mother. I have no idea how he got away with it but he did.” She begins to say and my eyes turn real big. I began to get sick at my stomach. “He even killed his own parents when he was 16. He said he was asleep. We all know that is not true because his handprints were all over the knife. Your father is going to be sent to a maximum security prison. They already have a place picked out and it is on an island. It’s called Alcatraz Federal Penitentiary. It belongs to the United States and if we can get your story, then he will be sure going for death penalty on the island.” She informs. Tears start to roll down my cheek. “So does that mean I have to testify in court?” I ask. “Yes. The court date is set in exactly 2 weeks from today. You tell the jury everything that happened like I just heard you say while talking to your father… Sorry, Walter. Then he will be sure going for the death penalty.” I began to have more tears in my eyes. She reaches over and grabs my hand. “Look, you don’t have to. It will just really help if you did. I can’t even begin to imagine what you, Cassie and your mother went through. That is a terrible thing. And the worst thing is you kept it in which got you to get depressed and build up anger. And sweetie let me tell you, that is not a good thing. I was the type of person in high school that got bullied and held it in. Later down the road I went nuts and about hurt someone because of the anger and being depressed. I about hurt myself. So I know what it is like to hold it in. You just have to let lose and share your thoughts. If you don’t it will affect you and your future. If you don’t want to do this and not see your fathers again then that is ok. Because I know you thought it was your last time today. But if you do this, you will only have one last time to share your thoughts and feelings.” She says. I begin to cry and thoughts go through my head about him and what he did. “Hey, don’t cry. It is ok. You’ve been through a lot. And I understand.” She smiles. “You don’t understand because you are not in my shoes!” I shout. She leans back into her seat. “Here, take my card and if you change your mind call me.” She hands me her card and I pull it out of her hand and walked out the door. I wipe my tears but they keep coming like a waterfall. I grab my belongings form the sign in desk and walk out to my car. I sat in my seat and cry and cry. I don’t know if I can do this again. The things I said where true but they were a little harsh. I don’t want him to get the death penalty for it. I still care about him even what he did. I’ve known him since I was a baby. Of course I’m going to care. I just can’t do this. Not again. It was hard enough going in there and to face him. But to tell everyone in that court room what happened, I don’t know if I can handle it. I start to have a panic attack. I start breathing really hard where I can barely breathe. I try to calm down. I grab my gear and shift it into drive. Maybe if I drive it will stop. I drive through the gate and head home. I finally calmed down and breathed in and breathed out. I go through the country side of the highway. I turn my music on and try to relax. Beg for it by Iggy Azalea starts playing. I look in my mirror and see a car gaining speed on my hind end. I speed up a little and see what they do. They kept getting faster and closer. I recognize that car before. It looks so familiar. I kept looking in my mirror trying to see who was driving. They get in the opposite lane and start going faster. I look through my window and it is Andrew and Alyssa. “HEY FAGGOT PULL OVER!” Yells Alyssa and they start to laugh. I step on the gas. My speed limit starts at 60. Now it is at 70, 75, 80… They start to honk. I never went this fast before. The wind starts sounding like a plane going fast. They kept getting closer to my rear. They hit my back left side of the tire area with their car and my car begins to flip. Glass is going everywhere and keeps on rolling. The car lands on top of its hood after rolling 8 times. Class is everywhere. I can barely breathe, everything starts to get blurry. I try to move my legs but I am too weak. My eyes start to get more blurry. I heard them drive off, and everything went black.