It took me a while to track Jason down. I couldn't see his name on any patient lists on any of the wards, so the hospital must have listed him and his details as confidential, probably trying to limit the spread of gossip that would already be flooding the hospital. That meant I had to wander into every room in the hospital before I finally found him in a small private room at the end of a corridor. When I arrived Reeves was still unconscious, and Matthews was standing at the end of his bed reviewing his chart.
I'm happy to hang here watching him. It's not like I've got anything better to do, and I feel a little responsible for bringing him back when Niklaus clearly doesn't want him here. Part of me is also hopeful that being close to Jason might trigger more lost memories from my past.
Jason begins to rouse, and a spasm of pain flinches across his features as he tries to shift his limbs into a more comfortable position. His bloodshot eyes scan the room and he groans as he shifts his neck towards Dr Matthews. She moves to the seat beside the bed, clipboard in hand, and she begins to scribble some notes as Jason adapts to his surroundings.
"Evening Jason," Matthews says, without looking up from her clipboard.
"Is it still evening?"
"Sunday evening. You've been asleep all day."
Jason emits a soft groan.
Matthews continues. "How are you feeling?"
Jason leans back into the pillow, eyes shift to the ceiling and he seems to be assessing himself.
"Not great. My body is aching and my head thumping," he says while reaching his hand to his face and pressing the indentations on the ridge of his eyebrows.
Matthews reaches for a remote and presses the button then continues with her paperwork.
As the pain medication hit his veins, his hand drops from his face, and the tension eases from his face.
"Thank you."
She nods.
"What are you writing?" Jason asks.
"An incident report"
Jason's complexion goes white and his eye widen slightly. It seems the gravity of the situation he's in has just hit him.
"I need to know what you took last night, Jason."
Jason looks surprised. "You didn't do a tox screen?"
"No. That's why I need to know what you took." Matthews is blunt with her words and it's hard for me to tell what she's thinking. She brushes back a few loose strands of hair that had fallen in front of her face and looks at Jason for a response.
"Wellbutrin. I'm trying to quit smoking – I must have accidently taken it twice."
I believe him so I'm not sure why Matthews looks sceptical. Her face is a blank slate, and she gives nothing away on how she is going to deal with this situation.
Maybe she's remembering that doctor who was dismissed in disgrace a few years ago. Davies, I think his name was. He was caught smoking marijuana with the orderlies after his shift. Matthews never had much time for him because he wore his hair long in a ponytail – she used to call him the hippy – but I recall she was upset about him losing his job.
Matthews holds the power to make Reeves's life miserably tedious with mandatory drug testing and counselling. And she'll take a risk with her own career if she covers up his actions. I hope my intervention doesn't cause Jason a world of financial and legal hurt.
"What's going on with you, Reeves?" Matthews asks.
Jason looks away from Matthews, he seems to have fixed his eye on the far wall.
"Nothing. I'm fine. I told you, I accidentally took my meds twice."
Matthews sighs as she puts the clipboard down on the bed.
"Jason, you're one of the most dedicated doctors I've worked with in a long time. You're doing well for someone so young..."
Jason's eyebrows peak in surprise. I'd never heard Matthews give a compliment and I don't think Jason had either. It isn't that Matthews is unkind; she just generally keeps her opinions of others to herself.
"...but you're too emotional."
Jason looks almost offended.
"You take everything to heart and I think it's dragging you down. You'll need to learn to compartmentalise if you want to be a better doctor. I need you to be logical, methodical and above all I need you to be mentally and physically sound."
"I'm fine! I'm just a little overworked and was trying to blow off some steam."
"I don't think you're understanding the gravity of this situation. You were found unconscious on a dance floor at three in the morning. It's almost impossible to cover up this type of behaviour. I don't have the time or the patience to tend to your patients while you're attending mandatory counselling sessions and jumping through administration hoops to satisfy them that you're not a liability."
"Give me a break, Matthews! It was just a night out that went a bit wrong."
"A bit wrong? It seems to me you work yourself nearly to death, then on your time off you take too many pills and drink yourself nearly to destruction with that nurse! What are you trying to do? Kill yourself?"
Reeves looks aghast. "I didn't try to commit suicide if that's what you're thinking!"
"It looks to me like you're in a tail-spin– so maybe you didn't intentionally try to commit suicide, but even a first year medical student knows that alcohol increases the effects of some medications..." Matthews puts quote marks around the word 'medications' with her fingers as she speaks. "...and the effects can be fatal."
"But I'm fine!"
"You died."
The colour drains from Jason's already pale face, and the look of shock tells me he doesn't remember anything from our encounter.
Matthews waits a beat to let the information sink in before continuing.
"You were dead for two minutes."
"What happened?"
"You went into cardiac arrest and then everything stopped. We tried to revive you, but after a while, I gave up." Matthews looks down at her hands and I see the first emotion I've ever seen cross her face – guilt. Her voice softens.
"Jason, I need to know whether this was an accident, or whether it was..."
Jason stares straight ahead and his words are spoken firmly through a clenched jaw. "It was an accident. I double-dosed Wellbutrin and I drank more than I realised while I was out."
Matthews scrutinises Jason's face and spends a few moments in deliberation.
"Ok. You smoke don't you, Reeves?"
Jason nods in answer.
"Good."
Jason's eyes flick up to Matthews who begins to scribble away on the clipboard again. When the scribbling stops she stands up straight and her persona is back to that of the efficient, cool professional.
"Wellbutrin is used as a cease smoking aid, but has also been known to induce seizures in high doses. It's an unfortunate chain of events that you accidently double-dosed then decided to go to a dance club which had strobe lights. Perhaps in future you could be a little more careful Dr Reeves?"
Matthews passes two forms to Jason, I come closer to the bed to see what she's given him.
"Just in case you forget what happened," she says.
I look down at the paperwork. It's her incident report and one blank incident form for Reeves to fill out.
Jason nods again and thanks her as she turns to leave the room.
As Matthews reaches the door, Jason calls her back.
"You said I died and you did nothing. Who resuscitated me?"
Hand on the doorknob Matthews turns her body back towards Jason.
"Margie didn't stop. She began compressions. I didn't think it would help so I stood back and watched. Then you gasped for air like a newborn – it was miraculous."
Matthews stands in silence for a moment, a look of anguish in her eyes. If only I could tell her that she was right. There was no hope– until I intervened to give him more time. Matthews turns the handle and leaves the room.
Jason looks over both the forms and sets them down on the bedside table. He rolls over and switches out the light.