Alex sat down against one of the posts outside of the abandoned house he and his regiment was staying. He knew that Grace would be worried if he didn't write, but he wanted to write someone else first. So, he sat down, not minding that the grass was a bit wet, and got to writing.
Betty,
France is beautiful. I wish I was here for a different reason. I can't help but think you what you would find gorgeous in this war-torn town. The houses are burned down or abandoned, but the surrounding forests and lands are barely touched. There's a few paths that either we or the German's made, but other than that, the countryside looks untouched. You would find comfort in the silence we get out here some nights. It's almost as if I'm back home at my family's countryside cottage. Remember the one I told you about? It's so quiet there, almost like it's in the middle of nowhere. I'll take you when I get back.
How are you handling Grace? I know she's probably a handful, especially since she hasn't heard from me, but tell her that I'm busy. I have written letters, but I haven't gotten to a station where I can send them out. Some are for you, some are for Grace. Somehow, you seem easier to write to. I don't have to pretend how I am around you, I can tell you that I feel like shit and you won't come charging to France to take care of me. That's the one good thing about this war. Grace can't control every small movement I do. Maybe that's why I was so drawn to you, you never told me what to do, you would just go along with everything. You would tell me when something wasn't right, but you never told me to do something. You never told me that I was late when I didn't appear the minute you left the hospital.
I know you said it was over, and if it truly is, I'll respect that, but fuck I miss you, Betty. Almost every night I dream about you. Most of the time, it's of the day we first met, do you remember? You were so shy and Grace felt as though she had a duty to take care of you, so she got up and she brought you over to us. God, I've never been so happy about Grace being so pushy. It allowed me to meet you. The petite Irish woman that took over my thoughts almost immediately. I can't stop thinking about you. It is you who has taken over my dreams. I feel your lips on mine. I replay our first time in that run down dance hall. I can't stop thinking of you. I won't.
The military has said they have read every letter we send and every letter that we receive, but I highly doubt that they have the men to do so at the moment. We are trapped on a beach, with nowhere to go, being picked off by the Germans one-by-one. If there is an army man reading this. Fuck off.
I will stop writing to you if this is something that bothers you, but the men say it's always good to write out your thoughts and I surely can't write to Grace, so I decided to write to you. I doubt you'll even get this far. But if you do, write my back, My Darling, I want some hope.
Yours,
Alex
Alex sighed as he re-read the letter. He knew that Elizabeth would be upset that he was writing to her, especially about the inner thoughts he had about her, but he just did not care anymore. He wished he was back home and able to go to her, but these letters were the next best thing. Even if it ruined his engagement. Even if it ruined his friendship.