The picture is my drawing of Amora 🖤
I woke up to an excruciating pain on the left side of my head. Slowly opening my eyes, my vision remained blurry for another minute before it slowly started to clear up.
I felt something cold laying on the side of my head and over my forehead, and I noticed there were a couple candles illuminating the room. I then look to the side of me and seen Undertaker sitting beside me as he was holding my hand.
“Amora, you’re finally awake. How are you feeling?” I flinch at the sound of his voice as his tone sounded way too loud, causing my head to hurt even worse. “Ugh... What are you talking so loud for? And why does my head hurt so bad?!” I cry out. “Please make it stop!” I practically whispered, as tears were starting to fall.
I feel his hand tightening on mine as he leans down beside me. “I’m so sorry, baby. I can’t give you any more of that medicine for a while. All I can do is place an ice pack over it.” He whispers back. “What happened, and why does it hurt so much?!”
“Amora... You really don’t remember? What’s the last thing you can remember?” He asks, worry clear in his voice. I try to think, but the pain was just too much, and everything seemed to be a blur. “I don’t know...... I remember leaving the Midfords’.... Just, please tell me what happened?”
“Dearie... I was opening up about my past, and admitting some truths to you before you jumped to conclusions and passed out. And when you did you hit your head pretty good on the corner of the coffee table.” He carefully explains, and I was slowly starting to remember.
My heart began breaking again, and I didn’t want him near me. “Undertaker... Please leave me alone. I need to be alone-”
“Amora, I need you to know that what you had thought is not true-”
“How am I supposed to believe you when you have already lied to me!?”
“Amora, I never lied to you our whole relationship! Except that one part with Cloudia, but I told you that wasn’t intentional-”
“You still lied to me! You told me I couldn’t be a watchdog-”
“To protect you from the dangers-”
“I’m a Phantomhive!..... My ancestors have been doing it for how long now-”
“And look at all of them! They died, Amora-”
“Just get out! I’m in so much pain right now I can’t stand it, and this is not helping at all! Please, just... Leave me alone!” He looked shattered, and he hesitantly gets up and leaves the room.
I continued to lay there, crying in pain. It felt as if I had a blade going through my skull, and I wanted nothing more than the pain to end. And if that wasn’t enough, everything that has been going on today, everything that has been said and done kept replaying through my memory, much to my dismay as even thinking was too much.
After maybe a half an hour, I had had enough of everything. Enough of today, enough of fighting, enough of my attitude, and enough of this pain! I force myself to get up and make my way out of the room. I try looking for Undertaker, but I didn’t see him anywhere.
I then start walking towards the door to the shop, and stopped once I heard voices. There was an unfamiliar female voice and Undertaker talking. Confused who would even be here at this hour, I quietly open the door ever so slightly and look to see who it is.
There stood the same female from earlier, and she was again hitting on him. “Come on, sweetheart. You know you want to.” She says seductively as she flaunts herself around him. “You don’t need her, I’m so much better looking than her. You can do so much better, Undertaker. I’ll even let you in on a little secret.” She continues as she runs her fingers across his shoulders.
“I can guarantee I’m so much better in bed too. You’ll be begging for more.” She says into his ear before placing a kiss next to it. I ball up my fists, tightening them as hard as I could. Who does she think she is, and why isn’t he doing anything to stop her?!
“You’re wasting your time trying. I already lost her. And besides that, I don’t want anybody else. So why don’t you get out of here already? I will never want you!” He... Already lost me? He thinks he’s already lost me, and he’s not even going to fight for me?!
I felt my heart shattering into a million tiny pieces. I’m not even worth fighting for?! “All the more reason to have some fun. You know you want me. I promise I’ll give you the best night you’ll ever have!” She says as she begins kissing his cheeks. “You’re right, I do want you.” How could he?!
Not being able to take this anymore, I slam open the door and storm over to her. Grabbing her by the hair, I pull her off of him and begin throwing punches at her. “Pigs like you don’t deserve to live in this world! Why can’t you leave other people’s men alone!?” I scream out as I continue to beat her head in.
“Amora, enough!” I hear Undertaker say as he grabs my shoulder. I pull away and look up at him. “Don’t you ever touch me again! You’re next you fucking asshole!”
“Amora, what are you talking about?!”
“Don’t act all innocent, you know very well what I’m talking about! You thought you already lost me?! And you couldn’t even fight for me?! Am I not worth fighting for?!”
“Amora-”
“Then to tell her you do want her!?” I stand up, step on her chest as I break her neck, killing her on the spot. I then look back up at him. “I warned you that the next time someone tries making another move on you I’d end them! I also said if you were to try anything I’d take away your manhood! Give me a reason not to do it, Undertaker! You just told her you wanted her!”
“I was going to say I wanted her to leave, Amora!”
“What about what you said that you already lost me?! Am I really not worth fighting for?! If you didn’t want me you could have told me to begin with instead of messing with my damn feelings!”
“Amora, I do want you!-”
“You’ve already lied to me. How am I supposed to believe you? I’ve had enough of everything. To think I came out here to say everything was my fault, that I wanted to just talk things out and be in your arms again..... Goodbye, Undertaker.” I turn around and leave the shop.
I knew saying that is killing him, and it killed me to say it. But if I really didn’t mean enough for him to fight for us, I can’t stay. I made it down to the alley before I felt myself being pulled at. I turn to see who it was and saw that it was one of my attackers.
“I knew that would make you leave. Now you’re coming with me. When she finishes sleeping with him, she’ll be meeting us back home.”
“No she won’t. I killed her.” I spat. “You’re lying.”
“No I’m not. Don’t believe me, check for yourself. I snapped her neck for messing with other people’s men.”
“You stupid bitch, I’ll kill you for that!”
“Go ahead, try it! What use do I have here?” I challenged. He grabs me by the neck and throws me to the ground and begins choking me. I struggle to fight him off, but he was too strong. I then try kicking him off, but he was also weighing my legs down.
I felt myself becoming lightheaded, and I try everything I could to get him off, but nothing was working. Before I knew it, everything went black once again.
“Amora.” I heard someone say, and I try looking around but all I seen was white. “Amora.” I continued to look around, but I still couldn’t see anyone. “Amora.” I look behind me and jumped when I suddenly see someone. It was my father.
“Amora, what were you thinking? Are you really throwing away the best thing that has happened to you?!” He questions. He was actually upset. “Father... He hurt me! He lied to me, he kept things from me, and most of all... He said he already lost me, which wasn’t even true at that time, and he couldn’t even bother fighting for me even if he did! He didn’t fight for me, or for us, and that basically tells me he didn’t even care enough for me to begin with-”
“Amora (m/n) Phantomhive! You know darn well your mother and I didn’t raise you to be like this! The only thing he had lied to you about was the watchdog situation! Even so, I was the one who lied to you about that! He was right, Amora. If you had taken on that role, you would have been killed-”
“But I was already killed, father!... I can’t be now-”
“That’s where you’re wrong, Amora. I know everything about your secrets. You’re on the verge of death right now! If you don’t fight to stay alive, there will be no more anything! You won’t be getting married, you won’t be having your family, you will have nothing! Your brother will have no one left in the immediate family, Undertaker will be crushed-”
“How would he be crushed?! He didn’t fight for us-”
“And you broke your promise to him! You told him you would never leave him unless he cheated! He never cheated-”
“He allowed that woman to be all over him! How is that not cheating?!”
“Because he didn’t kiss her, Amora! He didn’t want any part of her! He wanted her to leave and you just happened to come in at the wrong time! You jump to conclusions, Amora, you always have! You need to stop and start asking questions instead of assuming! When are you going to realize every time you jump to conclusions you are always wrong about it?!”
“But how can I trust him?”
“How can you not?! Amora, he loves you more than anything! You are literally the best thing to happen to him, and you’re taking that away from him! Do you even care about him at all?!”
“Of course I do! But he kept things from me-”
“How could he have when he told you willingly, voluntarily! He was opening up to you about everything he has never told to anyone else, not even me! He never wanted secrets to be held from either of you before you got married. Now that won’t be happening as you are just about dead! Think about the last thing you said to him. And you didn’t even give him a chance to say anything to you. He is going to be devastated, Amora! He didn’t deserve how you just treated him! I’m sorry, Amora, but you should know better! Put yourself in his shoes. If everything was the other way around. If he kept catching other men doing to you what that woman kept doing to him. Would you want him to be treating you the same as you had to him?!”
I was crying uncontrollably now. He is absolutely right. Oh my goodness.... I’ve got to be the worst person in the world right now!
“There’s someone else who needs to talk to you, Amora. Just know that I still love you. Of course, I always will, but you need to start opening your eyes. Stop jumping to conclusions, you will hurt a lot of people by doing that.”
He soon disappears, leaving me alone again. How did I allow myself to be this way?! I was so worried about letting myself get hurt, and I ended up hurting the most important person in my life!
Soon, someone else appears in front of me, and I had no idea who she was, or what she could possibly want to say to me. She had long strawberry blond hair with blue eyes, and she looked strangely familiar, but how?! I’ve never seen her in my life! “W-who are you?” I ask nervously.
“Who I am is not important, Amora Phantomhive. What matters is how you have been treating that man you’ve been living with. I’ve been dead for a very, very long time, Amora, and I know everything he has ever gone through in his life. He has never had it easy. From when he was alive as a human and ever since he was forced to become a reaper and up until now. You were the absolute best thing to ever happen to him. You made him believe he can be loved and wanted, yet you took that away from him! Are you happy with yourself?!”
“Don’t talk to me like you know me! You know nothing about me-”
“I know enough about you! You had no right treating him the way you did when all he ever did was give you his entire love and heart! He worshiped the ground you walked on, and you just crushed his soul! Do you know what he is doing right now?!”
I was speechless. It felt like something was caught in my throat, and I couldn’t make a single sound. “His heart is shattered. His whole life is gone, as he knows you are dead! He is crying because he no longer has you!”
“But I was told I couldn’t die unless from a death scythe?”
“There are things that can still kill you without either of your knowledge. But you are still able to turn things around, Amora. If you continue to fight as much as you have been for the last 8 years, you can still go back.”
“I don’t know how much fight in me I have left. All I have been doing is fighting. Fighting for my life constantly. Having the worst day of my life, my energy is drained.”
“How do you think his entire life has been? If you think today was the worst day... Try living today for over a century, sweetheart. That’s how his life has been up until you came into the picture. I have never seen him so happy, but the last few days you have been taking him for granted! If anything, you don’t deserve him! In fact, if you don’t start changing your ways right now, I don’t ever want to see you around him again! He doesn’t need you if you stay like this.”
Before I could even say anything, she disappeared. I was alone yet again, and the white was slowly starting to fade away into darkness once again. What should I do? Dare I fight to stay alive? Do I even want to show my face again to him after how horribly I’ve been treating him? She’s right. He doesn’t deserve me. Maybe I’m better off dead.
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I don’t know what to do. What should I do?
Requests are always open! Vote, comment on what you think! 🖤