Can You Give it a Chance (please say yes)
Chapter one
Mali's P.O.V
"Mal iyou better get your ass down here or Ziva is not staying!" my mom yelled from the bottom of the stairs.
Ugh, I grumpily look at the clock, 6:45 am. Ugh, the thing I hate about school is how early you have to get up, it's ridiculous. You're expected to be there bright and early, and then you’re expected to stay up and pay attention. I mean, really, that's almost inhumanly possible. Okay, I may have exaggerated a bit.
Last week, we were learning about Romeo and Juliet and I almost fell asleep. Sorry, but I hated it. Really, who is stupid enough to kill themselves over someone they just met? Shakespeare worries me. Well I better get up before my mom has a hissy fit.
It’s Monday and Ziva's staying the night, because we have guitar lessons tomorrow after school from Derek. He taught himself how to play and we asked him if he could teach us. He said yes. .It was pretty awesome, but honestly I'm kind of nervous.
Well, about Ziva staying the night at my house, because she hasn’t stayed at my house since I told her about being bi. Not that she didn’t want to, she just couldn’t, or at least that’s what I hope is the reason. But I am really excited about the guitar lessons they’re going to be awesome. You see, I have been secretly bisexual since 6th grade.
Recently I accepted who I am, and who I am just so happens to be bi. I used to think I will get over it or just make myself ignore those feelings, but that never happened. When I figured it out, that I was actually into girls and not just guys, I cried a lot, but I finally got over it. Only a few weeks ago I told my best friend Ziva and she was supportive. I’ve had a crush on her since 7th grade. When she told me she used to have thoughts about girls, such as how she wanted to kiss some girls sometimes or had dreams about them, I took it all wrong. I got a little excited and accidently asked her out. You see, I’m secretive about being bi, so I wanted to "secretly" date her. I told her that I liked her, and had thoughts of kissing her. But she found out she wasn’t bi, and that she doesn’t even like girls that way. That confused me, but I didn’t question her. She said she didn’t care if I liked her, but she was still awkward about it; who wouldn’t be?
This is the first that she is staying at my house and sleeping in my bed since she found out. This should be interesting. Ziva and I have been friends since 2nd grade, which means we know everything about each other. Then there is our other best friend, Izzy who I haven’t told yet, because I am scared to tell her. This is weird, because I shouldn’t be afraid to tell her. She’s supportive because she has a sister who is a lesbian.
We all have been friends since 2nd grade and awkward enough, we have seen each other naked; well we all had underwear on. It’s a tradition at Izzys house, kind of like extreme truth or dare, but that’s beside the point. I think I started going bi then, since that 'tradition' started in 6th grade and I’m a 9th grader now.
My parents don’t know about my sexuality, they just assume I’m straight. I’d like to keep it that way for a while, besides I don’t think but I just can bring myself to tell them.
"Maliyou better be up!" ugh, will she ever give up, the damned woman?
"Yes mom!" Ugh, not really.
I had better get up.
Okay, first off I’m not a skinny person, I’m not even average. Ziva is very skinny, she eats like a freaking pig, but she still is a twig. Izzy is also not a skinny person; she’s basically like me, just a lot more comfortable with it. Every time I say something about my size, Ziva gets pissed. I hate it, I mean I’m not that fat, but I hate it. I wish I was normal sized. I have a pretty face, just not the body to match. I still wear skinny jeans though. They look good, just not as good as I wish they did.
*shut upMaliyour going to make yourself cry, if you dont shut up.*
I put on some black skinny jeans and grabbed my black and purple plaid button up shirt that I love. Even though it’s winter, I don’t wear a coat or jacket, and it pisses my mom off. I’m not going wear it if I only wear it to get on and off a bus, then to go straight into a warm building. I sighed. I put on my awesome colorful converse, applied some makeup and straightened my hair dark brown hair. I grabbed my bag and ran downstairs, telling my mom good bye, just before grabbing my iPod and rushing out the door, before I had to endure another lecture about how, “I’m going to freeze and die”.Instead I’ll just die on the inside, laughing at my odd mother.
I was I the mood for Black Veil Brides, so I listened to them on the way to school. When we arrived at school, I immediately went to Zivas class. There she was, looking as gorgeous as ever. She had on her flared jeans on, (she’s in love with the 70s) and her cute blue v-neck shirt on with a black jacket. She also straightened her red/brown hair, but had her bangs side crossed like mine were.
"Hey Ziva, are your parents still going to let you stay?", I asked.
"Yeah, but I had to do all the dishes, clean the kitchen, and clean the living room. I didn’t go to bed until after midnight, and I’m so freaking tired"
"Ugh, your parents are so annoying, seriously there so harsh on you, it’s ridiculous."
Before she could say anymore, the bell rang saying I had 5 minutes to get to class.
Okay, let me explain about her parents. Her dad’s okay, but her mom is the problem. Her mom was a wild child and got pregnant when she was a senior, at only 17 years old. She cracked down 10 times as hard on Ziva, making her life a living hell. It’s probably because she thinks Ziva will do the same things she did. Meaning that it’s always, get up, go to school, come home, clean, make dinner, clean some more, and then to bed. She never has free time, she hardly comes over, and she’s constantly getting in trouble for stupid shit. She has a little brother, Austin, who doesn’t do anything, and never gets in trouble. She hates them, and she can’t wait until she graduates, so she can leave home.
A few weeks ago, Ziva got in trouble for not finishing the dishes, which made her mom go off on her. They screamed and yelled at each other, which was the usual. Zivas reason for not finishing them was because she had a big essay due. Her dad knew this, but didn’t say anything, he just watched. But that same day, Austin didn’t clean his room, or take out his trash. Why he didn’t do his chores though, was because he was playing guitar hero with his daddy. Which of course, her parents didn’t say anything about. He got off free, but Ziva is now grounded from everything for an entire year. They are ruining her life.
“RINGGGGGGG!” the class bell rang.
Sigh.
Classes go by with a haze; all I could think about was tonight.
Lunch
I sit at a booth, which can sit four people comfortably, but we fit six. Maddie and Ashton sit in one booth across the table from us. Ziva, Izzy, and I share the other booth while Shyla pulls up a chair. This means that I’m pressed up against Ziva. Trust me it’s awkward. There are so many times where I have wanted to grab her hand, but unfortunately that is something I can’t do.
I wasn't hungry, well, I just chose not to eat. Ziva noticed, so I’m going get a lecture about that. I’ve done this before, I’ve starved myself. Ziva finds out, she gets pissed, and the she practically shoves food down my throat. She doesn’t know what its like to feel unhappy. She’s in a little size 2 body, while I’m in a fucking size 14, 15, or 16 range, it changes depending on brand. I just wish I could feel pretty and wanted. I don’t want to be in a dressing room crying again.
I have been thinking a lot, so the day passed quickly, even choir, the one class that usually drags on. But it’s my favorite subject because it deals with music and it’s the only class I have with my best friends.
"Hey Ziva, are you andMalistill coming tomorrow?" Derek asked, attempting to flirt with Ziva. A hint of jealousy flew over me.
No. She should have a boyfriend, she’s straight unlike me.
Sigh.
"Yeah, that’s why I’m going home withMali." Ziva said flirting back. I have no idea how they can flirt constantly, but they do.
"Great, I’ll see you later." he said, winking at her. She had held in all her freaking out until he left, and when he was gone, she and started rambling on and on to me. She rambled on and on until the bell rang.
Saved by the bell.
We already had all of our stuff, so we didn’t have to go to our lockers. We went straight towards the buses.
The bus ride was boring, all we did was listen to my iPod.
Soon, we got to my house, where we went straight to my room, and watched some TV. We goofed of with our guitars, but soon we had to go to bed. My mom said we could stay up until 9, but we stayed up until like 3:30. It was horrible, I was so tired. I stayed up later than Ziva because I watched her sleep, and listened to her soothing breathing. I really wanted to kiss her, but I refrained myself.
My dad was taking us to his work. We had to bring our guitars, and leave at 6:30 so he could get us breakfast and such. On the way there Ziva was tired, so she laid her head on my shoulder, which sent jolts of electricity through me. Was this girl trying to tease me? She knew I liked her. Ugh! She knows how hard it is for me. Reluctantly, I laid my head on hers and just enjoyed the moment I had with her, even though to her it meant nothing, but to me it meant a lot.
The day passed quickly, and before I knew it, we were at guitar lessons, just us three me Ziva and Derek. He showed us the C, D, G, and F cords. I memorized them pretty quickly; I was surprised at how quickly I memorized them, actually. We had about 15 minutes before my dad would show up, so I decided to talk to Ziva.
"Hey Ziva, can I talk to you for a sec?"
"Yeah sure, what’s upMali?" Since we were alone, I was able to talk to her about this subject.
"Um… since you know that I’m bi and I, umm… like you and everything… doesn’t that make it awkward around me at all?" I was really hoping her answer was no. But just asking her I could tell she grew awkward immediately.
"Not really, well I mean a little bit, but I’m fine with it. You understand why I don’t want to go out with you right? Because I mean, I don’t want to ruin our friendship, you know, like if it didn’t work out if we did date," but at the end she quickly added, "but that wont happen since I’m not into girls."
"Oh well, yeah I understand perfectly. I was just wondering, and I’m glad your not weird around me, I was hoping it didn’t." I said, but the last thing she said killed my heart. She smiled at me, god I want to kiss her so badly,
*No. Shut up. Don’t think like that.*
“Yeah, cool. Oh hey, are you going to tell Izzy?" Oh crap.
"I want to, I’m just, you know, scared. Ugh, I don’t know, I’ll text her later, okay? I’ll text you alright?” Buzz
Buzz
Buzz
Dad: I’m here
"Hey my dads here, ready to go?"
"Yeah, I’m ready."
We dropped Ziva off at her house and went home. When it was time for bed I stayed up all night, thinking. Thinking about how badly I wanted to kiss her. How badly I want to hold her hand, thinking about how freaking badly I want her to be my girlfriend. I understand she’s not bi, I understand her reasons, but why can’t she just give me a chance? She’s obviously had those thoughts. Ugh. My life is so fucked up right now.
Inner voice: Shut upMali, you’re going to piss yourself off, and start to cry!
*Oh shut up, don’t tell me what to do. I will not cry.*
Inner voice: Oh yes you will, because you’re a baby. You’re an emotion filled baby ready to explode.
And sure enough, it was right. I started to cry. I cried because I do, I do have all these emotions that I bottle up and hide from everyone, so I turn to a silver razor.
My stomach hurts, but I’m losing weight, unhealthy I know, but I will stop once I’m happy with myself.
I promise.
After a pain filled night I fell asleep. A sad restless sleep. A dreamless sleep. I just want to be happy.
Is that too much to fucking ask for?
-Authors Note-
ok well i got this idea because some of this is true about my life andsome i made up to make the story more interesting because if i went with what all really happens it would be a very short and boring story lol but mostly i the story will go to how i wish my life would go sortof with added things XP so yah well hope you like it im hoping i get comments and votes for either this story of my others because i would like that lol well later Peace XD
i also wanna thank pippinismyhero for editing my story for me it means alot and i wish to thank you for it XD